The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

avbhabra 03-27-2014 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 524107)
And thus the trust issues get worse :( someone I thought was a good person and someone I thought i knew raped my other friend... I want to help her through it. I really do. I don't think she wants to talk about it though so....i don't know what to do :c i've never helped someone who went through something like this....any ideas??

I think that just being around her is important. Like, don't say anything but let her know that you're there to hold her. I think that most people don't want to talk about those horrible events. They just want someone to hug them and not say anything, they want someone to just be around them. Don't let her dwell on it too much, though. Keep her spirits up but don't act too different around her. Act normally, but let her know that you care a lot, maybe not through words but... I don't know how to say it. Your presence? But that sounds Sci-Fi-y. xD Just hang around her. Hope I helped. I've never helped someone who went through that either. O_o

L.S.Trendom 03-27-2014 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 524107)
And thus the trust issues get worse :( someone I thought was a good person and someone I thought i knew raped my other friend... I want to help her through it. I really do. I don't think she wants to talk about it though so....i don't know what to do :c i've never helped someone who went through something like this....any ideas??

aww man *hugs you tightly* *hugs your friend too*
just, like… be there for her. don't make her talk about it, but let her know you won't judge her and you still love her bunches. try to read up on how survivors usually feel, maybe?

pluzzle 03-28-2014 05:29 AM

calla: i'm so sorry that happened. my advice is don't try to directly talk to her about it, but just be there in general

----
so here comes a wave of envy when your best friend tells you her story is 20,000 words long
i barely write anymore
im basically either at school or sleeping, overlapping sometimes s2g history lectures
i cant do anything and im a piece of shit really

pluzzle 03-28-2014 07:43 AM

everything's falling apart, all over again
I kinda thought it was over
I was wrong


I constantly feel like I'm competing. What for, I don't know. A girl in my grade got her hair cut short for cancer charity. Now I feel like to 'win' I have to cut my hair even shorter. I need to win, I can't be content, all the attention will be on her now.
But at the same time, I don't want any attention.
My friend got an A+ on an assignment and I got an A-. I can't be happy for her. Everyone's better than me at everything. I've never been good at anything, ever. This is the first time I've cried in a while.

I always have to do better. I always have to win, no matter what it is. I'll never be good enough and I tell myself that all the time.
I don't even know how to feel about anything, it's a mixture of nothing and sadness, and the occasional jumpy happiness, but not real happiness.

Everything's slowly declining, my will to live, my grades, and how much time I spend sleeping rather than counting my mistakes.

For some reason, the thing that pushed me off the edge was the haircut thing, I don't know why.
I don't know about anything.
I've got no clue what I'm still doing here, wasting my time.

My friends say it's disgusting when I say a girls cute or hot or whatever, because they're all straight ofc. IG hurts my feelings. It also hurts when they say that there are only two genders, male and female. That I can live with more.

Everything's just crumbling around me, my friendships, my sanity, my school life, everything, I used to love school, I used to be so excited. You can see in my ID card photos that every year I get less and less excited. This year was practically a passport photo. Year 3, my first year here, was a huge grin, and the years I between just got smaller and smaller lines below my nose.

I can't wait until everything's over.

Sorry this was so long. TL;DR: Charlie feels like shit be life

LaurenM 03-28-2014 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 524131)
everything's falling apart, all over again
I kinda thought it was over
I was wrong


I constantly feel like I'm competing. What for, I don't know. A girl in my grade got her hair cut short for cancer charity. Now I feel like to 'win' I have to cut my hair even shorter. I need to win, I can't be content, all the attention will be on her now.
But at the same time, I don't want any attention.
My friend got an A+ on an assignment and I got an A-. I can't be happy for her. Everyone's better than me at everything. I've never been good at anything, ever. This is the first time I've cried in a while.

I always have to do better. I always have to win, no matter what it is. I'll never be good enough and I tell myself that all the time.
I don't even know how to feel about anything, it's a mixture of nothing and sadness, and the occasional jumpy happiness, but not real happiness.

Everything's slowly declining, my will to live, my grades, and how much time I spend sleeping rather than counting my mistakes.

For some reason, the thing that pushed me off the edge was the haircut thing, I don't know why.
I don't know about anything.
I've got no clue what I'm still doing here, wasting my time.

My friends say it's disgusting when I say a girls cute or hot or whatever, because they're all straight ofc. IG hurts my feelings. It also hurts when they say that there are only two genders, male and female. That I can live with more.

Everything's just crumbling around me, my friendships, my sanity, my school life, everything, I used to love school, I used to be so excited. You can see in my ID card photos that every year I get less and less excited. This year was practically a passport photo. Year 3, my first year here, was a huge grin, and the years I between just got smaller and smaller lines below my nose.

I can't wait until everything's over.

Sorry this was so long. TL;DR: Charlie feels like shit be life

i get you about the competitiveness i feel like that all the time. i can't let my friend be better than me in english even though she's lived in america for seven years of her life, i can't let her be better than me in chinese BECAUSE she's lived in america for seven years of her life. it's only when she gets a lower mark than i do that i'm content, from compositions to test papers.

update on my own life (though i doubt that anyone reads my posts)
2048 is ruining it, and also the coming piano exam is making stress rain down on me, plus chinese tests and english tests and a computer literacy test on actionscript3.0 adobe flash thingymajiggies. in wsc, this club i'm in, are the fandom-y nerdy people and it's not exactly big, and one of them is leaving next year. To go to dun dun dun canada. everyone leaves. also, i've discovered that i cannot make two-person conversation irl for long. except, like, three people.
basically: stress stress stress stress fucked up social life also this period is not helping at all

LaurenM 03-28-2014 03:40 PM

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND MY FRIEND JUST TOLD ME THAT SHE THINKS SHE MIGHT BE Bi IDK I'M JUST YAYING FOR SOME REASON

rebecca 03-28-2014 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 524131)
everything's falling apart, all over again
I kinda thought it was over
I was wrong


I constantly feel like I'm competing. What for, I don't know. A girl in my grade got her hair cut short for cancer charity. Now I feel like to 'win' I have to cut my hair even shorter. I need to win, I can't be content, all the attention will be on her now.
But at the same time, I don't want any attention.
My friend got an A+ on an assignment and I got an A-. I can't be happy for her. Everyone's better than me at everything. I've never been good at anything, ever. This is the first time I've cried in a while.

I always have to do better. I always have to win, no matter what it is. I'll never be good enough and I tell myself that all the time.
I don't even know how to feel about anything, it's a mixture of nothing and sadness, and the occasional jumpy happiness, but not real happiness.

Everything's slowly declining, my will to live, my grades, and how much time I spend sleeping rather than counting my mistakes.

For some reason, the thing that pushed me off the edge was the haircut thing, I don't know why.
I don't know about anything.
I've got no clue what I'm still doing here, wasting my time.

My friends say it's disgusting when I say a girls cute or hot or whatever, because they're all straight ofc. IG hurts my feelings. It also hurts when they say that there are only two genders, male and female. That I can live with more.

Everything's just crumbling around me, my friendships, my sanity, my school life, everything, I used to love school, I used to be so excited. You can see in my ID card photos that every year I get less and less excited. This year was practically a passport photo. Year 3, my first year here, was a huge grin, and the years I between just got smaller and smaller lines below my nose.

I can't wait until everything's over.

Sorry this was so long. TL;DR: Charlie feels like shit be life

I'm here if you want to email me and talk.

pluzzle 03-28-2014 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 524140)
i get you about the competitiveness i feel like that all the time. i can't let my friend be better than me in english even though she's lived in america for seven years of her life, i can't let her be better than me in chinese BECAUSE she's lived in america for seven years of her life. it's only when she gets a lower mark than i do that i'm content, from compositions to test papers.

update on my own life (though i doubt that anyone reads my posts)
2048 is ruining it, and also the coming piano exam is making stress rain down on me, plus chinese tests and english tests and a computer literacy test on actionscript3.0 adobe flash thingymajiggies. in wsc, this club i'm in, are the fandom-y nerdy people and it's not exactly big, and one of them is leaving next year. To go to dun dun dun canada. everyone leaves. also, i've discovered that i cannot make two-person conversation irl for long. except, like, three people.
basically: stress stress stress stress fucked up social life also this period is not helping at all

i have 2048 ^_^ highest ive gotten is 512 haha
wow you have a lot to do???
ahhh idk i send hugs :D
Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 524143)
I'm here if you want to email me and talk.

okie

HeatherB 03-28-2014 10:47 PM

i just love her so much i dont even know what to do with myself and i see her weekly but i miss her so much too idk it's stupid this is stupid i love her so much she's so impossibly beautiful and she'll never know what i see but i love her i love her i love her and i don't know if she's still in love with me but i love her and i wish i could tell her in a way that would make her believe me and i know she thinks we didn't work out but i think we could make it work i just want to love her and have her accept my love it doesn't even matter if she doesn't love me in return p.s. this is the most pathetic thing ive ever written probably but it's also really true

pluzzle 03-29-2014 04:54 AM

asdfghjkl; idk heather idk IDK IKD!jkrfklsmd,x how 2 help

I was gonna write this thing about i hate ppl who ____ but then it's just like i hate people

pluzzle 03-29-2014 07:01 AM

im just so upset bc jealousy
my friend's wattpad bio mentions a girl that is so sweet in our grade but we barely know her, and she's like thanks so much to @_______ for being my personal editor!! she doesn't write though but you should check out her reading list!
and it's like
1) i edited 7 chapters for you
2) why
3) goodbye nope

it's gonna be the same thing all over again isn't it except in the end maybe it'll work out

LaurenM 03-29-2014 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 524146)
i have 2048 ^_^ highest ive gotten is 512 haha
wow you have a lot to do???
ahhh idk i send hugs :D


okie

SAME I CAN ONLY GET 512

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 524201)
im just so upset bc jealousy
my friend's wattpad bio mentions a girl that is so sweet in our grade but we barely know her, and she's like thanks so much to @_______ for being my personal editor!! she doesn't write though but you should check out her reading list!
and it's like
1) i edited 7 chapters for you
2) why
3) goodbye nope

it's gonna be the same thing all over again isn't it except in the end maybe it'll work out

I'm so sorry but idk whut to say

HeatherB 03-29-2014 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 524196)
asdfghjkl; idk heather idk IDK IKD!jkrfklsmd,x how 2 help

I was gonna write this thing about i hate ppl who ____ but then it's just like i hate people

im sorry i'm just being stupid because i saw her last night and she's literally so gorgeous i was gonna scream anyway

true
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 524201)
im just so upset bc jealousy
my friend's wattpad bio mentions a girl that is so sweet in our grade but we barely know her, and she's like thanks so much to @_______ for being my personal editor!! she doesn't write though but you should check out her reading list!
and it's like
1) i edited 7 chapters for you
2) why
3) goodbye nope

it's gonna be the same thing all over again isn't it except in the end maybe it'll work out

awww honey i'm sorry *hugs* *strokes hair* *gives chocolate* *doesn't know what else to do*

HannahChen2009 03-29-2014 11:54 AM

I CAN'T SING I CAN'T SING NO WHY Dx BECAUSE HONEST I CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT SINGING BUT I HAVE A COLD AND-
AND I LOST MY VOICE ALMOST ENTIRELY I CAN BARELY WHISPER
AND I CAN'T SING NO I'M LIKE TOTALLY LOSING IT.

.

SilverMoon 03-29-2014 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HannahChen2009 (Post 524212)
I CAN'T SING I CAN'T SING NO WHY Dx BECAUSE HONEST I CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT SINGING BUT I HAVE A COLD AND-
AND I LOST MY VOICE ALMOST ENTIRELY I CAN BARELY WHISPER
AND I CAN'T SING NO I'M LIKE TOTALLY LOSING IT.

.

It sucks when this happens.

AlgebraAddict 03-29-2014 02:10 PM

aha so yesterday i was singing at the piano in this music store and this lady walked up to me and gave me her card and she's a really good private vocao coach so :3

HeatherB 03-29-2014 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 524241)
aha so yesterday i was singing at the piano in this music store and this lady walked up to me and gave me her card and she's a really good private vocao coach so :3

i'm so happy for you omfg <3 best of luck with that *hugs*

pluzzle 03-29-2014 05:22 PM

thanks guys
omg aa well done! hope that works out :D

Lena 03-30-2014 01:20 PM

i love it when you wake up feeling really crappy and your parents choose this morning to be inconsiderate and annoying and rude.

like when i ask you to leave me alone, that doesn't mean continue to barge into my room and harass me mmkay

SilverMoon 03-30-2014 01:53 PM

I can't.
I'm too afraid.
Of getting hurt again.
This is a billion times more painful than being in love.
I'm too freaking afraid to immerse myself again.
It's pathetic when you're scared to love more.
I'm afraid of getting attached.
Again.
And then letting them slip away.
I don't think I like the right sort of people.
I'm afraid of liking someone who I already know it won't work out well for.
I'm afraid of liking someone while not knowing that they'll be okay.
Doing this, being like this, is slowly dying from the inside out, and enjoying it.
It's beautifully heartbreaking, beautifully life-ruining.
And guess what?





































I'm not even talking about things that exist.
This is about me.
Being in Fandoms.
Being an otaku.
But this isn't being a fangirl.
No, I hate just about 75% of all my fandoms, at least at some point.
This is deeper than ...
Others.
Idek.
It's freaking painful.
I hate loving all the wrong sorts of people.
When I say 'slip away', I. Mean. Die.
THEY DIE.
Not all of them, but many.
I haven't been able to bring myself to watch certain things
Because I am terrified.
I love them.
I love them all.
I really do.
Non romantically, of course.
I'm not a fangirl, much less a die-hard.
Damn, this is freaking hard.
I think I like those kind of people because I have those kind of issues.
I don't really know.
I'm scared of myself sometimes because of the kinds of characters I like.
But mostly, I don't care about that.
After all, I'm only human.
Sadly.
I'm just scared for them.
All of them.
Sadistic, bastard antagonist or not.
They usually have some likable qualities, and even if they don't,
I'm not the kind of person who does that whole Draco-In-Leather-Pants thing. (look it up)
I love them for who they are. Even if they are psychopaths, or sadists, or freaking ax-crazy.
Like I said, I love all the wrong sorts of people sometimes.
Of course, I don't just like the "bad guys". The "good guys" are brilliant too.

It's just so hard to have to watch.
To sit there, to get to know them, to come to love them, psycho or no.
To become so painfully attached.
To not be able to help them.
To sit there, to be forced to watch them get hurt.
To sit there, and watch them.
Through the good and the bad.
To sit there, and watch them die, and not be able to do anything about it.

HeatherB 04-02-2014 06:50 PM

i haven't been this suicidal since... two days ago.

avbhabra 04-02-2014 07:07 PM

Guys.

Stay strong.

Please.

I hate it when I see people who want to take their life on this thread. Because that's not fair. Not to you, not me, not to anyone. Believe in yourself, no matter whatever the heck anyone else says. Because you are built of awesome and you deserve to live.

Honestly? I hate watching you guys suffer. You come on this thread to vent and that's cool. But please, believe in yourself. Because it's almost as if you guys don't care. I don't mean to be harsh, but you guys have to pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off, and live a life that's meant to be lived.

Everyone has bad days. I've never seen people suffer this much and it bothers me that you guys don't think you're worth it. Because you are. You always have been, And you always will be. Please, please, please. Just don't do anything drastic.

Don't just come here and vent. Come here. Vent. And then punch life in the face and say I don't care if other people don't want me here. I want me here and nobody can take that feeling away from me.

Don't feel discourage. Okay? Because we all do and you're not alone. We can get through it. So much pressure coming from so many directions. But that doesn't mean that we can't face it. Because if somebody else can, then so can I. Because you are a human being. And you were born with the ability to make your own choices and make the right ones for yourself.

You are all built of awesome. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what language you speak, what you look like, what others think of you. You. Are. Awesome. And don't let anyone make you think that you're not. Because you are. You are amazing (Heather, SileverMoon, pluzzle, Lena - everyone, even if you do or don't think about suicide. You are all awesome. There are so many people, I can't even name all your names. :p)

I've come on this thread enough to know that there a lot a lot of people who want to take their life. But no. I'm not going to let you. Because you deserve to live. And I say so. And I'm nobody, but that still makes me somebody.

I love you all. You are all amazing. So listen to me. You. Deserve. To. Be Awesome. No matter what others say.

Please.

You're not alone. Remember this. Because you guys are awesome. Believe me when I say that you deserve to live no matter whatever the heck anyone says.

Believe in yourself. Okay Heather? And everyone else. Please. Just, please.

Lena 04-02-2014 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by avbhabra (Post 524705)
Guys.

Stay strong.

Please.

I hate it when I see people who want to take their life on this thread. Because that's not fair. Not to you, not me, not to anyone. Believe in yourself, no matter whatever the heck anyone else says. Because you are built of awesome and you deserve to live.

Honestly? I hate watching you guys suffer. You come on this thread to vent and that's cool. But please, believe in yourself. Because it's almost as if you guys don't care. I don't mean to be harsh, but you guys have to pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off, and live a life that's meant to be lived.

Everyone has bad days. I've never seen people suffer this much and it bothers me that you guys don't think you're worth it. Because you are. You always have been, And you always will be. Please, please, please. Just don't do anything drastic.

Don't just come here and vent. Come here. Vent. And then punch life in the face and say I don't care if other people don't want me here. I want me here and nobody can take that feeling away from me.

Don't feel discourage. Okay? Because we all do and you're not alone. We can get through it. So much pressure coming from so many directions. But that doesn't mean that we can't face it. Because if somebody else can, then so can I. Because you are a human being. And you were born with the ability to make your own choices and make the right ones for yourself.

You are all built of awesome. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what language you speak, what you look like, what others think of you. You. Are. Awesome. And don't let anyone make you think that you're not. Because you are. You are amazing (Heather, SileverMoon, pluzzle, Lena - everyone, even if you do or don't think about suicide. You are all awesome. There are so many people, I can't even name all your names. :p)

I've come on this thread enough to know that there a lot a lot of people who want to take their life. But no. I'm not going to let you. Because you deserve to live. And I say so. And I'm nobody, but that still makes me somebody.

I love you all. You are all amazing. So listen to me. You. Deserve. To. Be Awesome. No matter what others say.

Please.

You're not alone. Remember this. Because you guys are awesome. Believe me when I say that you deserve to live no matter whatever the heck anyone says.

Believe in yourself. Okay Heather? And everyone else. Please. Just, please.

if i could favorite posts, this would be faved forever <3

Athenabrain1 04-02-2014 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by avbhabra (Post 524705)
Guys.

Stay strong.

Please.

I hate it when I see people who want to take their life on this thread. Because that's not fair. Not to you, not me, not to anyone. Believe in yourself, no matter whatever the heck anyone else says. Because you are built of awesome and you deserve to live.

Honestly? I hate watching you guys suffer. You come on this thread to vent and that's cool. But please, believe in yourself. Because it's almost as if you guys don't care. I don't mean to be harsh, but you guys have to pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off, and live a life that's meant to be lived.

Everyone has bad days. I've never seen people suffer this much and it bothers me that you guys don't think you're worth it. Because you are. You always have been, And you always will be. Please, please, please. Just don't do anything drastic.

Don't just come here and vent. Come here. Vent. And then punch life in the face and say I don't care if other people don't want me here. I want me here and nobody can take that feeling away from me.

Don't feel discourage. Okay? Because we all do and you're not alone. We can get through it. So much pressure coming from so many directions. But that doesn't mean that we can't face it. Because if somebody else can, then so can I. Because you are a human being. And you were born with the ability to make your own choices and make the right ones for yourself.

You are all built of awesome. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what language you speak, what you look like, what others think of you. You. Are. Awesome. And don't let anyone make you think that you're not. Because you are. You are amazing (Heather, SileverMoon, pluzzle, Lena - everyone, even if you do or don't think about suicide. You are all awesome. There are so many people, I can't even name all your names. :p)

I've come on this thread enough to know that there a lot a lot of people who want to take their life. But no. I'm not going to let you. Because you deserve to live. And I say so. And I'm nobody, but that still makes me somebody.

I love you all. You are all amazing. So listen to me. You. Deserve. To. Be Awesome. No matter what others say.

Please.

You're not alone. Remember this. Because you guys are awesome. Believe me when I say that you deserve to live no matter whatever the heck anyone says.

Believe in yourself. Okay Heather? And everyone else. Please. Just, please.

Beautiful.

meerkat 04-02-2014 08:17 PM

Stupid headaches and fevers and little sisters/blisters and classmates and everything else and life in general.

HeatherB 04-02-2014 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by avbhabra (Post 524705)
Guys.

Stay strong.

Please.

I hate it when I see people who want to take their life on this thread. Because that's not fair. Not to you, not me, not to anyone. Believe in yourself, no matter whatever the heck anyone else says. Because you are built of awesome and you deserve to live.

Honestly? I hate watching you guys suffer. You come on this thread to vent and that's cool. But please, believe in yourself. Because it's almost as if you guys don't care. I don't mean to be harsh, but you guys have to pick yourselves up, dust yourselves off, and live a life that's meant to be lived.

Everyone has bad days. I've never seen people suffer this much and it bothers me that you guys don't think you're worth it. Because you are. You always have been, And you always will be. Please, please, please. Just don't do anything drastic.

Don't just come here and vent. Come here. Vent. And then punch life in the face and say I don't care if other people don't want me here. I want me here and nobody can take that feeling away from me.

Don't feel discourage. Okay? Because we all do and you're not alone. We can get through it. So much pressure coming from so many directions. But that doesn't mean that we can't face it. Because if somebody else can, then so can I. Because you are a human being. And you were born with the ability to make your own choices and make the right ones for yourself.

You are all built of awesome. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what language you speak, what you look like, what others think of you. You. Are. Awesome. And don't let anyone make you think that you're not. Because you are. You are amazing (Heather, SileverMoon, pluzzle, Lena - everyone, even if you do or don't think about suicide. You are all awesome. There are so many people, I can't even name all your names. :p)

I've come on this thread enough to know that there a lot a lot of people who want to take their life. But no. I'm not going to let you. Because you deserve to live. And I say so. And I'm nobody, but that still makes me somebody.

I love you all. You are all amazing. So listen to me. You. Deserve. To. Be Awesome. No matter what others say.

Please.

You're not alone. Remember this. Because you guys are awesome. Believe me when I say that you deserve to live no matter whatever the heck anyone says.

Believe in yourself. Okay Heather? And everyone else. Please. Just, please.

i'm sorry. i don't mean to make you upset. it's just difficult. i don't deserve anything, but people seem to think that i deserve everything. i don't understand that. i don't understand why i should believe in myself if i'm putting faith in certain failure. and i feel like i should apologize again, because i feel like this will make you upset, but honestly, i don't want to get better. i suppress positivity. i don't deserve it. it's almost a vicious cycle, because when i feel better i feel worse about feeling better, but then i feel better because i deserve to feel worse, but then i feel worse because i don't deserve to feel better even if it's because i'm feeling worse. my emotions are completely jumbled. but it's better than when i can't feel anything at all.
sorry. i'm rambling. i'm being stupid. i'm sort of stuck in a bad place right now, and i know you're trying to be helpful, because that's all anyone ever tries with me. they just want to help. i've heard those words so many times. but i can't accept your help. i know you mean well. everyone does. i'm sorry, but i'm stuck. when it's like this, i can't accept anything good. i can't bring myself to feel worthy of it. but thank you, because i know you're trying, and that does mean something, even if i can't accept help. i'm sorry. i'll try to be better, but it just might make it worse. i have a tendency to do that.

avbhabra 04-02-2014 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 524720)
i'm sorry. i don't mean to make you upset. it's just difficult. i don't deserve anything, but people seem to think that i deserve everything. i don't understand that. i don't understand why i should believe in myself if i'm putting faith in certain failure. and i feel like i should apologize again, because i feel like this will make you upset, but honestly, i don't want to get better. i suppress positivity. i don't deserve it. it's almost a vicious cycle, because when i feel better i feel worse about feeling better, but then i feel better because i deserve to feel worse, but then i feel worse because i don't deserve to feel better even if it's because i'm feeling worse. my emotions are completely jumbled. but it's better than when i can't feel anything at all.
sorry. i'm rambling. i'm being stupid. i'm sort of stuck in a bad place right now, and i know you're trying to be helpful, because that's all anyone ever tries with me. they just want to help. i've heard those words so many times. but i can't accept your help. i know you mean well. everyone does. i'm sorry, but i'm stuck. when it's like this, i can't accept anything good. i can't bring myself to feel worthy of it. but thank you, because i know you're trying, and that does mean something, even if i can't accept help. i'm sorry. i'll try to be better, but it just might make it worse. i have a tendency to do that.

No. I refuse to believe that you can't get better. You are a human being born just like me, like everyone else on this planet. YOU are too awesome to be sad. And you aren't stuck. Nope, you're not. Because I know lots of people who have been there. And you know what? They made it through. Yeah, they still feel really messed up on certain days, sometimes it's days on end. But they pull themselves through.

You deserve the love. You understand me? YOU DESERVE IT. And you didn't upset me. I'm worried for you. For everyone. You should know that you guys have a special place in my heart. I think about you guys all the time.

You aren't stuck. You can do it. I don't care if people think you suck because you don't. As hard as it is, you have to face the truth and believe in yourself. The hardest part is trusting yourself and believe me. I know it. I know people who know it.

Don't say you're stuck. You a brilliant, beautiful human being. Only you can pull yourself through this and I know that you can. I know it, I know it, I know it. You deserve positivity. And do you want to know why? Because if I do, then you do to. I don't care where are on this planet, you deserve it.

Don't let anybody discourage.

Not even yourself. Because I know that it is always your own thoughts that hurt the most. But don't let them. Just don't let them.

Athenabrain1 04-02-2014 08:54 PM

Tired and headaches...
Help.

avbhabra 04-02-2014 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athenabrain1 (Post 524724)
Tired and headaches...
Help.

Tell me about it. I have a History and Math Test to study for. O_o

AlgebraAddict 04-02-2014 09:15 PM

my bffl is being a bitch to me :|

SilverMoon 04-02-2014 10:15 PM

having issues with a certain psycho antagonist character who is an amazing bastard

meerkat 04-03-2014 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athenabrain1 (Post 524724)
Tired and headaches...
Help.

Me too :(

pluzzle 04-03-2014 05:21 AM

i hate it when parents fight

also heather i know just how you feel with the feeling worse about feeling better i feel that 110%

also, the stress is wearing off school-wise because i have one more day then 2 week holidays thank god


so here comes the part of the post where i ramble and make everything sad so don't read or read or whatever i can't control y'all

so i just remembered that when i was younger (like, 6 or 7) that i promised myself that if things got too rough, like we were poor or whatever that i'd kill myself to wear off most costs and i just

it makes me rly sad to think about that especially bc i was so young and i'm so wrong it would make everything worse but at the same time i still believe in it

LaurenM 04-03-2014 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverMoon (Post 524335)
I can't.
I'm too afraid.
Of getting hurt again.
This is a billion times more painful than being in love.
I'm too freaking afraid to immerse myself again.
It's pathetic when you're scared to love more.
I'm afraid of getting attached.
Again.
And then letting them slip away.
I don't think I like the right sort of people.
I'm afraid of liking someone who I already know it won't work out well for.
I'm afraid of liking someone while not knowing that they'll be okay.
Doing this, being like this, is slowly dying from the inside out, and enjoying it.
It's beautifully heartbreaking, beautifully life-ruining.
And guess what?





































I'm not even talking about things that exist.
This is about me.
Being in Fandoms.
Being an otaku.
But this isn't being a fangirl.
No, I hate just about 75% of all my fandoms, at least at some point.
This is deeper than ...
Others.
Idek.
It's freaking painful.
I hate loving all the wrong sorts of people.
When I say 'slip away', I. Mean. Die.
THEY DIE.
Not all of them, but many.
I haven't been able to bring myself to watch certain things
Because I am terrified.
I love them.
I love them all.
I really do.
Non romantically, of course.
I'm not a fangirl, much less a die-hard.
Damn, this is freaking hard.
I think I like those kind of people because I have those kind of issues.
I don't really know.
I'm scared of myself sometimes because of the kinds of characters I like.
But mostly, I don't care about that.
After all, I'm only human.
Sadly.
I'm just scared for them.
All of them.
Sadistic, bastard antagonist or not.
They usually have some likable qualities, and even if they don't,
I'm not the kind of person who does that whole Draco-In-Leather-Pants thing. (look it up)
I love them for who they are. Even if they are psychopaths, or sadists, or freaking ax-crazy.
Like I said, I love all the wrong sorts of people sometimes.
Of course, I don't just like the "bad guys". The "good guys" are brilliant too.

It's just so hard to have to watch.
To sit there, to get to know them, to come to love them, psycho or no.
To become so painfully attached.
To not be able to help them.
To sit there, to be forced to watch them get hurt.
To sit there, and watch them.
Through the good and the bad.
To sit there, and watch them die, and not be able to do anything about it.

urrrrrgh snk snk snk
my fandoms are ruining my life as well as other things too
good luck <3
Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 524729)
my bffl is being a bitch to me :|

my friend is bitchy often too like yo typical estj
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 524769)
i hate it when parents fight

also heather i know just how you feel with the feeling worse about feeling better i feel that 110%

also, the stress is wearing off school-wise because i have one more day then 2 week holidays thank god


so here comes the part of the post where i ramble and make everything sad so don't read or read or whatever i can't control y'all

so i just remembered that when i was younger (like, 6 or 7) that i promised myself that if things got too rough, like we were poor or whatever that i'd kill myself to wear off most costs and i just

it makes me rly sad to think about that especially bc i was so young and i'm so wrong it would make everything worse but at the same time i still believe in it

I hate it when the whole family fights and you were just hoping really hard for a divorce just for all that shit to stop.
AND YOU WERE WRONG AND ARE WRONG ABOUT KILLING YOURSELF TO WEAR OFF MOST COSTS

meerkat 04-03-2014 02:27 PM

I'm taking the day off from school.
And I probably shouldn't be on KP either...

SilverMoon 04-03-2014 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 524780)
urrrrrgh snk snk snk
my fandoms are ruining my life as well as other things too
good luck <3

snk
SNK
SNK

EmmaR 04-03-2014 06:09 PM

Everybody I saw today was like "Did you get the cast list??"
yeah u fucker i got the cast list i wasn't on it and you know it
AND THEN THEY DO THE "...SORRY" THING AND IT'S LIKE
BITCH YOU GOT A ROLE AND I DIDN'T I DON'T NEED YOUR CONDESCENDING PITY I KNOW I SUCK AT ACTING

Athenabrain1 04-03-2014 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmaR (Post 524802)
Everybody I saw today was like "Did you get the cast list??"
yeah u fucker i got the cast list i wasn't on it and you know it
AND THEN THEY DO THE "...SORRY" THING AND IT'S LIKE
BITCH YOU GOT A ROLE AND I DIDN'T I DON'T NEED YOUR CONDESCENDING PITY I KNOW I SUCK AT ACTING

That sucks...
I hear you.

SilverMoon 04-03-2014 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverMoon (Post 522628)
does anyone else just get that one character feel
like, you already know that they're going to die due to spoilers before you even meet them
and they're such a magnificent bastard that you're just like, "well, they shouldn't be hard to dislike like most of the other fans dislike them"
then you're slowly just like "shit this character is actually fucking awesome, I don't care about the rest of the fandom's opinion"
then they die and you're like "dammit why why the fuck do I always have to love the antagonists" or "why do the ones I love always die"
"I THOUGHT I WASN'T GOING TO GET ATTACHED THIS TIME"

cause this keeps happening to me.
over and over.

HELP IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN
like
2 or 3 characters this week

Lena 04-03-2014 06:46 PM

i've just had a really bad day okay


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