The Writer's Block

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)
-   Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

saphiremoon 08-24-2014 07:42 PM

why

just

for god's sake

why

SilverMoon 08-24-2014 08:32 PM

buried some emotions so I think I'm a little better but still hate people lol

Lena 08-24-2014 08:42 PM

please don't throw away something so wonderful i remember i held the same beauty once and it crumbled and i don't want yours to crumble i'm sorry for caring too much but please

HeatherB 08-24-2014 08:54 PM

._________________________________.

saphiremoon 08-24-2014 11:04 PM

i'm just so exhausted

i just

i'm just so tired and done with all this bullshit and i'm so confused and i just want to sleep

and i don't know anything anymore

Athenabrain1 08-24-2014 11:23 PM

She seemed a lot nicer on instagram tho
Should I go to her house for her birthday
I don't want to run into her friend who hates me
Will she be nicer at school
Getting schedules this thursday/friday I'm scared

pluzzle 08-25-2014 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverMoon (Post 557895)
Sometimes I really hate KidPub??? I mean, I thought I liked the people here. Then again, I'm very selfish about the people I like. But it doesn't matter. I used to view this place as a family; now it's just another slap in the face about reality and how far from 'socially acceptable' I am. I guess I'm only capable of liking a few people. It's better than real life here, but sometimes not. I liked my summer camp better. Idk. Maybe I should leave.

i feel that, abt the whole family thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 557932)

i commented. stay safe <3


idk i think KP has become a toxic place for me and others

Puckbrina159 08-25-2014 08:59 AM

Nervous for the first day of school. My stomach is going nuts.

Athenabrain1 08-25-2014 09:22 AM

I just had a really emotional night and had a nightmare.
I thought about how my parents wouldn't be there for me sometime in the future. And then I started the endless crying.
Then a nightmare about my mom joining the army and us getting to watch the whole battle in the car. My dad said she could advance since all the others were in the front already. Just as she was about to go, a bad guy came out of nowhere and stabbed my brother in the chest. He ignored my mom, who was reaching out to him, and just ran away past us.

Puckbrina159 08-25-2014 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 557998)
Nervous for the first day of school. My stomach is going nuts.

Sweet jesus that was stressful.
My math teacher didn't piss me off yet.
My German class is obnoxious.
Band is going to be better.
I'm pissed about assigned seats at lunch but whatever.
I saw the other two girls that I used to have a really good friendship with eating together which made me want to cry for selfish reasons.
My locker refuses to open at times.
All in all: ehh.

pluzzle 08-25-2014 05:23 PM

alice: omg that's awesome feel better <3 it's okay

camille: assigned seats at LUNCH? What kind of institution do you go to jesus christ.. That's awful man.

im sure it'll get better throughout the year:)

CosmoCat 08-25-2014 05:28 PM

i'm sick on the first day of school and i would gladly crawl in a hole right now. i just wanna not exist for like three days. because i want to break stuff and hurt things when i'm sick. like earlier i was actually considering smashing a plastic cup with my foot for the sake of seeing blood and a broken cup on the sidewalk. i lose it even if its just a cold.

crap, people are talking again.

Puckbrina159 08-25-2014 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 558020)
alice: omg that's awesome feel better <3 it's okay

camille: assigned seats at LUNCH? What kind of institution do you go to jesus christ.. That's awful man.

im sure it'll get better throughout the year:)

Yep. As long as the assholes in my grade get their shit together that should change though.
And you know what else? I'm in SIXTH grade and I have a FOUR INCH TRAPPER KEEPER and that's not enough. I probably am going to need another binder. Jesus it's only the first day of school and I'm already stressed to the point of tears.
But thanks, I hope it gets better too. Hope school is going well for you if you're in it at the moment. :)

Lena 08-25-2014 08:45 PM

my emotions are like building up inside me and i'm not sure what they're doing but i'm afraid they're going to burst out

cloudwriter 08-25-2014 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 558017)
Sweet jesus that was stressful.
My math teacher didn't piss me off yet.
My German class is obnoxious.
Band is going to be better.
I'm pissed about assigned seats at lunch but whatever.
I saw the other two girls that I used to have a really good friendship with eating together which made me want to cry for selfish reasons.
My locker refuses to open at times.
All in all: ehh.

You get to take German?! Luckyyyyyy.
As for the locker thing: I feel you. I had that problem in eighth grade. Some lockers are really touchy, and others you can go like five past the number and it'll still open. Make sure you're doing it right (spin a couple of times to the right and do the first number, spin to the left past 2nd number once, and land on it the second time and then spin right STRAIGHT to the third number) I know this seems like stupid advice but somehow in eighth grade I was going past my second number too many times even though I'd been opening lockers fine for years.

As for the rest, well, I'm really sorry you had a bad day and I hope it gets better for you <3

cloudwriter 08-25-2014 09:40 PM

So school is really stressful
I don't have friends in half of my classes and even though that's getting better I just feel like I'm not going to be smart enough for all of my advanced classes this year and everything in the future just seems so daunting and meh. Like, I'm still in the same school, but sophomore year feels so much different and more stressful than freshman year and I don't like it.
Also: random vent, but my study hall is in the cafeteria since it's so big, and it's after lunch. Well, there are always several chairs around every table, and the teacher always asks us to stack up ALL of the chairs at our table. Well, at my table there's only me and one other girl who I don't talk to a lot, and between us there's like seven chairs and I'M NOT THAT STRONG AND I MAKE MYSELF LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT TRYING TO CARRY THREE CHAIRS, but I don't want to seem lazy and stuck up by only taking my chair, cause she usually takes like 4 chairs. xD Anyways. Vent over.

Puckbrina159 08-25-2014 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cloudwriter (Post 558035)
You get to take German?! Luckyyyyyy.
As for the locker thing: I feel you. I had that problem in eighth grade. Some lockers are really touchy, and others you can go like five past the number and it'll still open. Make sure you're doing it right (spin a couple of times to the right and do the first number, spin to the left past 2nd number once, and land on it the second time and then spin right STRAIGHT to the third number) I know this seems like stupid advice but somehow in eighth grade I was going past my second number too many times even though I'd been opening lockers fine for years.

As for the rest, well, I'm really sorry you had a bad day and I hope it gets better for you <3

Well, I take German for a quarter and then Spanish the next quarter and then next year I get to choose one to take all year.
Thanks for the advice! I'm pretty sure the lock is just sticky or rusty or something because a few times, I put in the combination and then my math teacher pulled it open.
Thanks! :)

cloudwriter 08-25-2014 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 558039)
Well, I take German for a quarter and then Spanish the next quarter and then next year I get to choose one to take all year.
Thanks for the advice! I'm pretty sure the lock is just sticky or rusty or something because a few times, I put in the combination and then my math teacher pulled it open.
Thanks! :)

That's cool! My school offers French and Spanish, and I'm in my second year of French, but if they offered German I would so take it lol xD
No problem! Sometimes if you know you're going to be rushed, you can always put in the first two numbers and then when you come back, all you have to do is the third number. ^_^ Some people used to rig their lockers (unlock it and hold it up and stick a pencil in the hole so they didn't have to do their combo) but then anyone can get into your locker and steal stuff. :/

Athenabrain1 08-26-2014 03:48 PM

Should I go to her house
I barely know any of her friends
I'm just going to be a wallflower
Awkwardly standing to the side
But I kind of want to go
Idk

Puckbrina159 08-26-2014 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cloudwriter (Post 558044)
That's cool! My school offers French and Spanish, and I'm in my second year of French, but if they offered German I would so take it lol xD
No problem! Sometimes if you know you're going to be rushed, you can always put in the first two numbers and then when you come back, all you have to do is the third number. ^_^ Some people used to rig their lockers (unlock it and hold it up and stick a pencil in the hole so they didn't have to do their combo) but then anyone can get into your locker and steal stuff. :/


Yeah, I got it open a few times by myself today. I think a few of the times I failed I might have gone past the second number 1 too many times.
And I never rig my locker. Some people in my grade will just put in the combination and then won't open it so that they can just open it when they come back, but some times people who feel like being dumb asses will go and try to open each locker and steal people's stuff.


All in all, better day today. Getting a bit more in to the swing of things and it was defiantly less stressful. :)

pluzzle 08-26-2014 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 558076)
Yeah, I got it open a few times by myself today. I think a few of the times I failed I might have gone past the second number 1 too many times.
And I never rig my locker. Some people in my grade will just put in the combination and then won't open it so that they can just open it when they come back, but some times people who feel like being dumb asses will go and try to open each locker and steal people's stuff.


All in all, better day today. Getting a bit more in to the swing of things and it was defiantly less stressful. :)

i dont know about your locks, but ours have a bit where you can push it over on bit but not the rest so you can open it but it looks closed. but some people go around opening at ur school... damn bro.


I'm thinking about leaving kp for reals this time. it's a toxic environment that no matter what happens makes me feel like shit. even posting makes me sad because no reads it? thats so fucking stupid im sorry. whatever. im thinking bout it.

Athenabrain1 08-26-2014 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 558080)
i dont know about your locks, but ours have a bit where you can push it over on bit but not the rest so you can open it but it looks closed. but some people go around opening at ur school... damn bro.


I'm thinking about leaving kp for reals this time. it's a toxic environment that no matter what happens makes me feel like shit. even posting makes me sad because no reads it? thats so fucking stupid im sorry. whatever. im thinking bout it.

please please please please please don't quit kp please
I read your stuff tho I don't comment at all
just don't quit please

cloudwriter 08-26-2014 06:00 PM

i can't even begin to describe how depressed and angry I feel right now. I kinda just want to crawl into a hole and die right now

pluzzle 08-26-2014 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athenabrain1 (Post 558081)
please please please please please don't quit kp please
I read your stuff tho I don't comment at all
just don't quit please

idk it's just that like Laurel said it's not safe anymore, it's making me feel worse than I ever have. lol my stuff isn't even worthy of the name poetry. not compared to you guys' stuff.

KP is in turmoil right now imo, publishing rates will most likely rise anyway, no ones writing real stories and good people are leaving. I think KP is making people sad, I really do.


i used to be sad but I could still be happy if something good happened, but now i can't feel happy that much. yesterday I got a debating or smth award and it's like o, k, I don't deserve this at all give it to someone else.

I don't know.

Athenabrain1 08-26-2014 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cloudwriter (Post 558087)
i can't even begin to describe how depressed and angry I feel right now. I kinda just want to crawl into a hole and die right now

really though don't think like that
I know i'm being a hypocrite but seriously don't feel the sad
feel the happy, think of the memories you cherish, go out and do stuff
feel better okay
*huggles*
*hands cookie*

Athenabrain1 08-26-2014 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 558088)
idk it's just that like Laurel said it's not safe anymore, it's making me feel worse than I ever have. lol my stuff isn't even worthy of the name poetry. not compared to you guys' stuff.

KP is in turmoil right now imo, publishing rates will most likely rise anyway, no ones writing real stories and good people are leaving. I think KP is making people sad, I really do.


i used to be sad but I could still be happy if something good happened, but now i can't feel happy that much. yesterday I got a debating or smth award and it's like o, k, I don't deserve this at all give it to someone else.

I don't know.

have you seen my poetry?
are you kidding me?
If you suck at poetry then i'm pathetic
please don't leave
if you want to really badly, then I can understand
but don't leave please

cloudwriter 08-26-2014 06:11 PM

Thanks dear (:
I just had an all time crappy day and I just want to scream at a couple of my friends.

Edit: thought I quoted this but apparently it didn't quote

Athenabrain1 08-26-2014 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cloudwriter (Post 558091)
Thanks dear (:
I just had an all time crappy day and I just want to scream at a couple of my friends.

Edit: thought I quoted this but apparently it didn't quote

everyone has those times, right?
it'll get better soon.
trust me.

cloudwriter 08-26-2014 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athenabrain1 (Post 558092)
everyone has those times, right?
it'll get better soon.
trust me.

Thanks (:

(you don't have to read this, it's basically just a recap on my day and I need to get it off of my chest because it helps to collect my thoughts. Btw, I'm aware this is probably going to sound really stupid but whatever)

So yesterday I had an amazing day. I've been talking to this kid...we'll call him G. G is a foreign exchange kid. Anyways, we've been talking on Facebook and he's really cool and as you can probably tell, I like him.

G was in my study hall. Was. Note the past-tense. Anyways, I was going to talk to him face to face after study hall, because we usually have a few free minutes before the bell rings. (note that this is my ONLY class with him.)

Well yesterday I was going to talk to him. But then he left early, and he had to go to the office. I wasn't upset; I just would talk to him tomorrow (so today) But he wasn't there again.

I went to my locker feeling disappointed. (Quick backstory: I have two friends, let's call them T and A. I usually walk around with them at the end of the day)

Anyways, T and A came to my locker to get me so we could walk around. And they started to talk about how a new kid was in their last period history class. Can you guess who this new kid who had transferred last periods was? Yes! It was G. Apparently he was having troubles with a class, and so he dropped out of the said class (it was a language class) and his schedule got rearranged.

Of course I was upset. I never got to talk to him face to face at all. We'd been talking completely over Facebook. But I mean, if you're having troubles in a class, that's fine.

BUT THEN T and A kept going on and on about him. They both knew I'd been talking to him and that I liked him. But now BOTH of them like him too. They just kept talking about him saying things like this: he's so hot, he improved my focus in Social Studies, did you see him looking at me when I answered that question, he has such a deep voice, Rachel, will you tell me his last name so I can friend him on Facebook? I'm going to talk to him and friend him on Facebook, we're the luckiest girls on the planet right now and oh HAHAHAHA sucks to be you Rachel, but since you liked the foreign exchange student last year, I get to like the one this year and there is NOTHING you can do about it.

I was honestly so close to just being like f*** you and walking away.

So now I'll never get to talk to him face-to-face. And on top of that, I messaged him today. Usually he messages back pretty fast, but it says he's seen the message and then he waited like 15-30 minutes to reply. I'm aware he could be busy, but it's still another blow to the already crappy day.

I came home. And I went upstairs, shut myself in a room, and cried for about an hour. This stuff always happens to me. I always lose friends, I always get replaced by someone. Everyone thinks they can walk over me like a f***ing doormat, and I'm sick and tired of it. I don't want them to think this is okay, because in case you haven't noticed, I'm a really jealous person. I know that sounds dumb and childish of me, but it just really ticked me off that they kept rubbing it in my face when they knew I liked him first. My other friend, M, who is also in last period SS class with them and G was like "yeah, he's cute, but I know you like him and I respect that." T and A don't understand that.

And God, I have lunch with T and A tomorrow and I don't think I can stand another half hour of that, plus the fact that I'm really pi**ed off at them. I kind of just want to sit somewhere else, but of course I don't have any other friends in that lunch.

Maybe this is an indicator that I should leave America, settle somewhere foreign, and never come back. (Side note: I could actually probably do the whole foreign exchange if I wanted to/if I studied hard enough at a language...and since I don't have many friends in America, (like I literally have 2 friends that I completely trust) maybe I should just leave.)

It was just a really crappy day.

Puckbrina159 08-26-2014 10:03 PM

seriously, Maggie will tell you how hot he is, she's seen a picture of him
 
I feel like shit.
For those of you that remember, I have a gargantuan crush like thing on a guy in my grade, and here on KP, he goes by Perfect Specimen.
The story basically is this. This dude comes in to my tech ed. class on the first day of middle school (last school year) and I thought he was majorly hot. So for maybe 2-2.5 months, I only saw him in tech ed. and never talked to him. As time went on I started to appreciate him more and more as he was bullied because he was different. He was bullied for things like clothing that he wore and dancing and singing (like a FRICKING ANGEL MIND YOU) and stuff. And then I found his facebook and the obsession reached new heights because he liked Doctor Who and stuff. So eventually we started talking a little bit about Doctor Who, but were never really what you'd call 'friends'. We kinda started talking more and there was also that one time when we sat elbow to elbow in the hallway reading because he saw me reading alone and plopped himself down next to me so we could be "reading buddies". The story goes on and on in this direction (including the fact that up until the last day of school he called me bestie which i called him too eventually). By the end of the year, their never really was a conclusion or anything. On the last day of school, we both signed each other's yearbooks each as "bestie" and then didn't say anything else. I didn't have the guts to write my number and tell him to text me like I wanted to.
Today, the second day of 6th grade, I was informed he is now cyber schooled. Chances are I'll never see him again.
I'm mad at myself for never going for it. For not giving him my number or at least really talking to him. Really making an effort. In a way it's sort of a relief, because I don't always have to worry about kicking myself every time I don't take the chance to talk him when I'm given it, but now I just wish I had in the past.
I'm sorry if this didn't make any sense, but it's not like anyone's going to read let alone reply to this, so whatever.
And sorry if it was too long, but if you're looking for a shortened version, this is the shortened version.
I just needed to vent.

cloudwriter 08-26-2014 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 558150)
I feel like shit.
For those of you that remember, I have a gargantuan crush like thing on a guy in my grade, and here on KP, he goes by Perfect Specimen.
The story basically is this. This dude comes in to my tech ed. class on the first day of middle school (last school year) and I thought he was majorly hot. So for maybe 2-2.5 months, I only saw him in tech ed. and never talked to him. As time went on I started to appreciate him more and more as he was bullied because he was different. He was bullied for things like clothing that he wore and dancing and singing (like a FRICKING ANGEL MIND YOU) and stuff. And then I found his facebook and the obsession reached new heights because he liked Doctor Who and stuff. So eventually we started talking a little bit about Doctor Who, but were never really what you'd call 'friends'. We kinda started talking more and there was also that one time when we sat elbow to elbow in the hallway reading because he saw me reading alone and plopped himself down next to me so we could be "reading buddies". The story goes on and on in this direction (including the fact that up until the last day of school he called me bestie which i called him too eventually). By the end of the year, their never really was a conclusion or anything. On the last day of school, we both signed each other's yearbooks each as "bestie" and then didn't say anything else. I didn't have the guts to write my number and tell him to text me like I wanted to.
Today, the second day of 6th grade, I was informed he is now cyber schooled. Chances are I'll never see him again.
I'm mad at myself for never going for it. For not giving him my number or at least really talking to him. Really making an effort. In a way it's sort of a relief, because I don't always have to worry about kicking myself every time I don't take the chance to talk him when I'm given it, but now I just wish I had in the past.
I'm sorry if this didn't make any sense, but it's not like anyone's going to read let alone reply to this, so whatever.
And sorry if it was too long, but if you're looking for a shortened version, this is the shortened version.
I just needed to vent.

I know how you're feeling. The only class I had with my crush, and he's now in a different class because his schedule had to be rearranged.

Puckbrina159 08-26-2014 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cloudwriter (Post 558159)
I know how you're feeling. The only class I had with my crush, and he's now in a different class because his schedule had to be rearranged.

That sucks. :(
Thanks though.

MaggieMay 08-26-2014 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 (Post 558150)
I feel like shit.
For those of you that remember, I have a gargantuan crush like thing on a guy in my grade, and here on KP, he goes by Perfect Specimen.
The story basically is this. This dude comes in to my tech ed. class on the first day of middle school (last school year) and I thought he was majorly hot. So for maybe 2-2.5 months, I only saw him in tech ed. and never talked to him. As time went on I started to appreciate him more and more as he was bullied because he was different. He was bullied for things like clothing that he wore and dancing and singing (like a FRICKING ANGEL MIND YOU) and stuff. And then I found his facebook and the obsession reached new heights because he liked Doctor Who and stuff. So eventually we started talking a little bit about Doctor Who, but were never really what you'd call 'friends'. We kinda started talking more and there was also that one time when we sat elbow to elbow in the hallway reading because he saw me reading alone and plopped himself down next to me so we could be "reading buddies". The story goes on and on in this direction (including the fact that up until the last day of school he called me bestie which i called him too eventually). By the end of the year, their never really was a conclusion or anything. On the last day of school, we both signed each other's yearbooks each as "bestie" and then didn't say anything else. I didn't have the guts to write my number and tell him to text me like I wanted to.
Today, the second day of 6th grade, I was informed he is now cyber schooled. Chances are I'll never see him again.
I'm mad at myself for never going for it. For not giving him my number or at least really talking to him. Really making an effort. In a way it's sort of a relief, because I don't always have to worry about kicking myself every time I don't take the chance to talk him when I'm given it, but now I just wish I had in the past.
I'm sorry if this didn't make any sense, but it's not like anyone's going to read let alone reply to this, so whatever.
And sorry if it was too long, but if you're looking for a shortened version, this is the shortened version.
I just needed to vent.

im so sorry that really sucks!!! *hugs and hands u a lot of chocolate* but hey, whether or not he ever comes into your life again you will have an AMAZING life and meet amazing people and probably get a crush on other people too!!!!

coolcate781 08-27-2014 02:04 AM

Idk...
 
Ok, does anyone ever feel kind of sad and stressed but not like really depressed? That's sometimes what I feel like nowadays. I'm happy and excited a lot of the time, and I would never ever hurt myself or other or commit suicide or do anything like that. I just feel kind of upset for no reason occasionally. Probably just part of growing up as I am almost twelve... but still. Does anyone ever feel (or has felt) like this before? :o

Puckbrina159 08-27-2014 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieMay (Post 558161)
im so sorry that really sucks!!! *hugs and hands u a lot of chocolate* but hey, whether or not he ever comes into your life again you will have an AMAZING life and meet amazing people and probably get a crush on other people too!!!!

Thanks so much. :)
*hugs back and takes chocolate*

Owen-L 08-27-2014 08:38 AM

rlly fucking nervous about going back to school

EmmaR 08-27-2014 06:48 PM

lolololol i love being treated like a child this is so much fun

Lena 08-27-2014 08:19 PM

i'm just really done today oh my god i could punch someone.
like are you fucking kidding me seriously why the hell

TheMoonWakedWolf 08-27-2014 09:01 PM

i just tried to purge
it didn't work
It was almost there, but I couldn't do it
I'm partly glad but mostly frustrated
i don't know what to do
i can taste bile

TheMoonWakedWolf 08-27-2014 11:56 PM

i'm never going to be enough, am i?
i'm just
i'm really not worth it.
i'm really not worth anything.
i'm sorry for being a waste of space and words. i'd leave if i could.


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