| TheMoonWakedWolf |
06-28-2013 10:00 PM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherB
(Post 476511)
no, actually, stress is not a matter of mentality for someone like me who's inherited my father's and my mother's anxiety issues and has panic attacks and starts crying no matter WHAT mentality i'm in to begin with (and you can bet, with what my depression and all, that that mentality is perpetually shitty). i've tried, you know. i've taken deep breaths and done that muscle relaxation thing, and you've still seen me cry at school. which i do more than you'd expect, considering a great majority of it is done silently and into the corner of my sleeve, and my excuse is that i'm tired. which i am. i'm tired of all this shit in my life and burdening people and not being able to make new friends even when i know i have a similar interest to someone else. i've been wanting to die for about a week now. it's really not pleasant, but at least i'm getting what i deserve.
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you're not getting what you deserve, as much as you may think you are. one of my best friends has an anxiety disorder and gets panic attacks, even at the smallest of times, and she hates that she's not normal but she's one of the bravest and best people i've ever met. another best friend of mine is has had thoughts of suicide and used to hit his head against a table every time he thought he did something stupid, thinking that he's stupid and that he deserves to get hit on the head multiple times, but he too is absolutely amazing. i'd do anything for my friends, 'cause they're the best kind of people, and even though they may think they're too fucked up to function or hate themselves or want to die, i refuse to let them because they are too fantastic to leave just yet. you count as one of those people. *wraps you in blanket and sits you down on a nice comfy sofa* you don't deserve that shit, and you were dealt it because life's a bitch and said, "hey, she's pretty cool. let's fuck her up." *gives you hot cocoa and a stuffed penguin to cuddle* we all love you. *hugs* |
