nothing. i dont want to talk about it.

does it have anything to do with me?

Thanks, Tredom. <:^) That actually does help a little. *accepts happie*

ADFJLAFHD.
GUISE. YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS. DON'T EVER FREAKING CALL YOURSELF WORTHLESS OR SELFISH OR WHATEVER ELSE. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT. YOU ARE SO FREAKING NOT. YOU BETTER LISTEN TO ME. EVERYONE WAS PUT ON TO THIS WORLD FOR A REASON. AND TO FIND OUT THAT REASON YOU GOTTA LIVE TO FIND OUT. YOU'VE GOTTA BE AWAKE AND ALIVE EVERY SINGLE SECOND TO FIND OUT WHAT THAT REASON IS. NO DEPRESSION. I FREAKING BAN DEPRESSION. YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND BE HAPPY BECAUSE IF YOU LOCK YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM AND CRY YOUR ENTIRE LIFE THAT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING. THAT'S GONNA JUST MAKE IT WORSE. YOU'VE GOTTA TAKE ACTION. PROBLEMS AREN'T GOING TO FIX THEMSELVES. SO GET OUT OF YOUR ROOMS OR WHEREVER AND GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND BE HAPPY. I KNOW I'M NOT BEING NICE RIGHT NOW AND BEING NICE ISN'T GOING TO HELP. SO I'M BEING STERN. SO LISTEN. YOU ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING. I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I'VE TALKED TO YOU. SO DON'T YOU FRICKING DARE THINK THAT ANY OF YOUR ARE NOT AMAZING. GOT IT? GOOD. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE LIED OR DONE ANYTHING SELFISH. THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOUR WORTHLESS. I DON'T CARE IF PEOPLE HAVE CALLED YOU RUDE THINGS. THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEIR TRUE. YOUR INSECURITIES? IGNORE THEM! IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY EASY. YOU'VE JUST GOTTA BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT. AND THIS MAY SOUND MEAN BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF (IN A BAD WAY) THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE. BECAUSE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU ARE FREAKING BEAUTIFUL.
~sucks in deep breath~ I could rant more but I don't want to be annoying. Forgive the caps. It had to do with my anger and the epic music playing in the background (from the Hobbit movie). Sorry if I was rude. But sometimes being rude is the only way >8D
<3

but it isn't easy to believe. i can't just get up and be happy. sorry for my pessimism but that was slightly offensive.

I'm sorry if I came off that way D:. If you had my mind you would understand >.< It's just after going through all of that I see it differently . . . . it's hard to describe. I'm sorry though D: I didn't mean for it to be that way ;~; I just meant to be sternish.....
I know it's not easy ;~; But it's something that . . . . you need to do. It takes quite a bit of time but in the end it's all worth it :3 Once you believe in yourself it erases most of the insecurities and you become happier. Just work towards it <3

But it's hard to work towards it when you have to bottle some parts up. The parts that are the most dangerous and lethal and the parts that are actually terrifying and the parts that cause that cause the flashbacks and the nightmares.
And I don't get how I can be happy if I can barely pass classes.

I'm sorry you're going through that :( Do you keep a journal/diary? If you don't, they're really helpful for pouring out your feelings. Or if there's someone you can vent too . . . . And in times where there's no one, there's always a punching bag to let out anger :\

I can't keep a journal because if I kept a journal, my brother would find it. And the only person I can really vent to is Isaac and I'm not ready to tell him about it yet because like I said, it's the worst part of my history. And I probably won't be able to tell him until I meet him, so...

D': I'm sorry . . . . is there like an ultra secret place you can hide it? Like a box in the ground or something? >.< Whatever you went through .. . . I'm really sorry that it had to happen. it sounds like a hard thing to go through . . . . if you ever need to talk and isaac isn't there, you can talk to me.