oh my god yes.



it's freaking horrible.



Why is your arm bleeding, Esther?


I pulled off a scab.


ON PURPOSE? EEEEMMMMOOOO.

See, I have the opposite of depression.
No, I'm not happy all the time. It's just that I feel a lot. Depression is numb, but I feel. I get happy. I get sad. But the most frustrating part is that I get really upset at things that shouldn't make me upset as they do. For example, I left a good camera (my dad's) at school the other day. My dad was totally chill about it, telling me that it's fine and he knows I tried and that we can just go back and get it. Me? I instantly kick myself (both literally and metaphorically) and cry and hate myself. And then I think about how stupid it is that I got so upset at myself and then I hate myself more. I start hating myself for hating myself, and it's really fugging frustrating because I CAN'T. STOP.
I think I have stress and anxiety problems, but only directed at myself. I never get mad at other people, but I am my own worst bully. To me, there's no difference between a "little thing" and a "serious thing". I have an inability to pick my battles; I just fight and fight and fight and it's so tiring because I'm fighting myself so I have to do both sides of the fight, if that makes any sense. But I digress. Anxiety was what I was talking about, right? Yeah, anxiety. I get stressed really fast. Like, if there's a math problem I get stuck on, I'll have a mini panic attack, shut my notebook, and have to curl up in the fetal position on my bed with my hands clamped over my ears so I can hear my blood until I calm down. Then I might have to go to the bathroom or do something else for a while until I feel like it's "safe" to start up again. As far as I'm concerned, this isn't normal.
So, yeah. There's my biannual sigh of emotions.
Funny thing is that I didn't really feel anything while writing this. I think the only time I can vent is when I'm detached from the situation.

Why is it every Friday you have to be there? I just want you out of the world, please. Or at least out of mine.

I don't want you to make fun of me. Please stop. I just want to be friends. That's all.

Stop saying these rude comments. I don't appreciate them and I know that I cannot deal with it. So. It's better if you just stop. Please.

*gets out wrench and hammer* *swings over back*
Alrighty.
Who is this picking on you again?

(O_O Whoa. Um. Put it down!)
It's just someone that was in my primary school that I don't like and he doesn't like me. I just don't know what to say to him. He keeps on calling me names and I want him to go away. GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY. Please?

*puts down*
All I can tell you to do is ignore him, from here buddy.
If it continues, then go to an authority. Otherwise, seem indifferent about it. it won't be that much fun for him if his victim isn't responding. It's like trying to tickle someone, who isn't ticklish. It just DOESN'T WORK.

No, Kendra. You don't get it. He's an idiot. He won't stop. I want him to stop but he just keeps on picking on me like I'm a freaking rag doll to toss around the place! I don't want to be treated like this. I'M NOT YOUR FREAKING PET!

You're right. You're not his 'pet'.

But this is just another thing in life. It will pass, and you're strong enough to get through it. Because you're Max.

Sooner or later he will realize there will come a day when the picking and pushing ends and it isn't funny anymore.

It wasn't ever funny. I'm not strong enough to get through this. It's not just another thing in life! I just want him to get lost, shut up and mind his own BUSINESS!

It was funny to him. But in reality, it isn't.

You are strong enough.

I have been picked on, for my beliefs, and I didn't care. In fact, I believe it made me stronger.

I know you do. All you can do is tell him stop and from there, it's his decision. Whether he wants to be the jerk or not.