Yeah, that pretty much describes it... :/

I'm so sorry, Maggie. ;__;

Yes, unfortunately, suicide effects the people who knew the one who died just as much as it effects the person who died--if not more. That kind of an emotional wound sticks around for years--especially for the parents and the closest friends. It may even drive someone else to commit suicide.

Have you ever thought about what happens when we die? Death is really just like sleep...no consciousness, no pain, no fear, no joy. Nothing. It may seem like a release, though, but it isn't. It's almost the opposite--it's nothing. You don't know that you're dead, that your troubles are over. You don't think or feel. But there IS hope for the dead, you know...

Yeah...I could only imagine what it would be like for me if one of my friends or close family members died, especially if I could have helped them out. :/

That is probably the most truthful statement about death I've ever heard made. In the end, I think it always entails some sort of release from some sort of pain...I mean, we all have to die someday, when the time's right and we've lived our lives to the fullest, know what I'm saying? Meh, that made no sense. x_x

A lot of people blame themselves, even if they didn't know the person very well...thoughts of "Why didn't I notice they were having trouble?" and "Could I have helped?" plague people for years afterwards.

No, no, I know what you mean. <:^) A lot of people feel that way. But, did you know that that's not what was originally intended for us? We're not SUPPOSED to die. Why do you think no one wants to die unless they're in extreme pain? Think about God for a moment...why would he create something just to let it be destroyed? Why do tress and tortoises live longer than humans? Why would he want them to live longer than us? He never wanted us to die at all.

i never wanted anything to end this way
where did it go wrong
why can't it be perfect
it's always been things that happen to other people
not me
never me
and after what happened last time
i was so stupid to even think it could last
i never wanted this to end this way
but it's all my fault.

Oh my gosh, Soph, what's wrong?! D: *glomps*

So, I'm having a huge issue with this all-or-nothing feeling. x___x This is mainly fueled by the fact that I've been having an extremely hard time concentrating/focusing on something for more than a few minutes at a time. That and the fact that I seem to be developing this weird inability to accept anything as an accomplishment, big OR small. Also I suddenly don't feel qualified to do anything anymore and I'm terrified that I'll screw everything up.

Need to do laundry? Well, I don't feel like doing all of it, so, I won't do any of it. Plus I'd probably just accidentally bleach something and ruin it.
Need to clean the kitchen? Well, I have the energy to do the dishes and clean the counters but I don't feel like sweeping and I don't have TIME for that anyway so I won't do any of it.
Read a book? No, I have to comment on as many chapters as possible, and I only can muster up the focus for one comment, not three or four. Also the comment must be perfect, which is impossible.
Need to write? Noooo, I need to finish all of Book One NOW so I can publish NOW but I don't have time or energy to do that so I'm not going to write any of it. It must be perfect and I'll just mess it up anyway.
There are a few minor chores I need to do before I can relax? I don't have the right to relax if stuff needs to be done so I'm just not going to do anything. Plus I broke something that one time and I'll probably do it again.

Also mood swings. x___x One second I'm convincing someone that I'm doing fine, and the next, I'm wallowing in a pit of depression.

laksdj flkasjdf l;kajs df;lajd sf;lkajsdf ;kljsfd
YESSSSSSSSSSSS :D :D :D
*goes to tell my sister.... she loves that book even more than i do :O *

stop killing elephants.
stop poisoning their water,
stop shooting them from the air,
stop hitting them with trains,

just
stop.