Ohhhh, I see. :I *nods* You have my sympathy. I TOTALLY know what you mean.

And now I'm depressed again...
This has been a major problem lately...
I'm either moody, depressed, or pissed very often in mornings and evenings...
Ironically my favorite times of day...
See, there I go, snapping at my mother...
Being on my iPad not wishing to talk to anyone and getting pissed whenever they talk to me...
Losing myself in a moment and going overboard and almost hurting people...
And myself...
Randomly hating people...
And myself...
Getting my heart repeatedly ripped to shreds by anime...
Just feeling really dull and like everything is boring and pointless...
Wanting to burn or otherwise obliterate everything in some of those lose-control moments...
Having an overload of shitty homework this weekend...
Wanting to watch Catching Fire but being all like ewe I have to go to a theater with people...
It's funny, I used to have more anger issues but be better with people...
Now I'm quite socially awkward and have trouble communicating with anyone...
I don't know how I even have friends...
And also feeling like I shouldn't get too comfortable with my friends...
Because life will happen...
Feeling like I'll lose them all at one point...
Feeling like it's pointless to have them...
Having internal wars of many things...
Yet at the same time find it harder to connect with my family than friends...
And is it sad that I just want to sit around and watch anime slash read manga all day...
Or be on the internet and not deal with people...
I become more antisocial and awkward and reclusive as time goes on...
Not wanting to deal with people at all...
Feeling depressed and pissed every first period and every evening and night...
And homework shit...
And waking up and thinking damn I have to deal with people...
I just feel like I can't connect with anyone anymore, not really...
Not even myself...
And I keep things to myself because I seriously suck with emotions...
And being really moody and pissy and sometimes being mean to even my, um...
Friends...
Pushing people away...
Screw everything.

omigosh leeenaaa *hugs* *cries* *hugs*
lena, you're amazing. you're a fabulous writer and an epical friend. you're one of the coolest people i've interacted with on KP. you have fantastic sense of humor and fantastic sense of crazy.
keep being that :)
*hugs*
feel free to email me, my friend.
*fistbump*

Oh and feeling like I'm amplifying my problems and begging for attention and being a bitch and shit

Also feeling like no one cares and sometimes like I'm invisible

I feel like I'm invisible when I want to be seen and seen when I want to be invisible

oh chica i understand completely life is a bitch and we all just want to slap it across the face sometimes (*gives cookie and fluffy anime teddy*) but it does get better eventually. and we start to realize that life isn't so much of a bitch, but that it's just as moody as we are and has anger issues that it takes out on everyone because life is only human. (*pats shoulder*) i feel you, though.
(*hugs*) (*fistbump*) thank you that is really nice of you to say and i appreciate it quite a bit. you're pretty fantastical yourself, sir sexy hair.

No, Ena..oh my gosh, I get it, though. You just described a lot of my suck-feelings. I mean we all have slightly different problems, but sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one with all these shit problems that nobody seems to care about, but it affects me so intensely. And I just feel all beat down and stuff. But, like Lena said, it does get better. It really does. Because life is not separate from us, it is us. And it's what we make of it.
But dude, really, people care. I care. And we'll be alright. And you'll be alright. It's okay. You aren't being a bitch. Sometimes you need that. That's what this is: a venting thread.
We can talk over email if you want... :)

I just saw The Diary of Anne Frank and I feel like the entire Nazi party is stabbing me in the gut.
THEY OPENED WITH THE FUCKING KADDISH
THE KADDISH
AKA THE PRAYER YOU SAY FOR DEAD PEOPLE
UGGGGGHHHHHHH MY HEART

Might as well email, sure. :-J Just use my contact tab, I'm procrastinating sleep and my iPad has eighty percent battery so yeah.

That awkward moment when looking at my amazingly amazing dark guild / the one I obsess aka Oración Seis because yes actually makes you feel a little better

Anyone else get annoyed at times with their friends where they're complaining about something and your just glaring at the ground and wanting them to stop complaining or something along those lines?
It's been happening more and more lately e.o

My friend, to 'screw' everything would be...well, rather disgusting. Sorry, literalance.

I understand-ish. My anger issues, which used to involve hitting out, losing it constantly, have been largely absorbed by my anxiety. I've been anti-social for a long time. I can usually connect, but sometimes - sometimes I'd rather live in my own little world.

And I hate people. So yeah, I understand-ish.

Don't take emotional advice from me or anything because seriously, I'm appalling at empathy and basic skills like that, but I'll try and do this. For your sake.

There is nothing wrong with being misanthropic (hating humanity). Okay, maybe there is, but whatever. Friends are important. Talk to them about how you feel, if you can. If not, just keep them as friends. Don't worry about losing them. Just live. Living with death in sight at all times is not life, not really. Enjoy what you have, find reasons to be happy, and if you don't have any, create them.

Having to deal with people is a major downer on life, I agree, but it's just how life works. There are hundreds of hideous, despicable people, true, but there are also hordes of amazing, interesting people, who it will be easier to handle. Trust me on this one. You will find your allies and compatriots one day. You will. Honestly, I'd imagine that if this change has come along all of a sudden, it's that little thing called puberty, which messes with people's heads.


It's a shame we probably aren't in the same country and I'm not a huggy person because I would hunt you down and give you a consolation hug. You know what I mean?