Aww. *hugs* you'll be alright. We've all been through bad days. : )

Thanks *hugs back*

(It's been more like a bad week though hnnn).

Sure.

(Aww I know that feeling. :/ It's alright, though, itll pass soon. ^_^)

well

can i just

vent for a minute

okay so one there's family drama and my parents being the same as they always have (which is noT PLEASANT)

two there's my stress like first i fail a math test then i have 7000000000 midterms in one week like what and also i'm 900% sure i'm ocd because i have the fears that freak me out and the compulsions to try to be less stressed as well as other symptoms like being germophobic

three now there's friend drama added to the mix because i've been friends with these girls for at least three years and now one of them apparently just doesn't give an eff about me and i'm always the last person she thinks of if at all and the other is really manipulative and both of them tell me i'm faking freaking out and hnnnnnnnnnnn

okay. rant over.

haha im so fucking scared HAHAHAhahAH

Yes. Yes you can. I'm sorry all those things happen to you. I'm sorry that youre so stressed out.
It'll all come to pass. Do you want to email?

Okay so I just need to vent here because well, just because.

This past tuesday night my friend tried to kill herself. The event was very devastating to me and my friends because we never expected her of all people to do it. We did discover that she didn't REALLY want to die, but she did try. She took a whole bunch of tylenol at midnight and then told her mother in the morning. She had to have her stomach pumped and what not, and she's in a behavioral institute right now. She should be getting out tomorrow and she's doing better. This whole week I was really worried about her, but there were two things that were very personal to me that I didn't share to my friends about the whole situation because I didn't want to seem selfish.
To start, if she would have actually done it, this would have been my second funeral of someone very close to me just in the past year alone. The other one was my uncle, which was only in October. I, to this day, feel a lot of guilt for not saying anything to him when I visited him when he was still in the hospital. I don't know why, but I just feel a lot of guilt for not saying anything. My friend's death would have, and did, put even more guilt on me because there were a few girls being rude to her at school that day and I could tell something was off about her that day and I feel like I should have done something.
Another thing, I've never cut myself or done anything like that, but Tuesday night at around 12:00 I was up doing the dishes (I had just finished my homework and my dad required me to get the dishes done) and I grabbed a knife off of the counter to put in the dishwasher and for some reason I found myself centimeters from cutting my wrist. I don't know what drove me to get that close to doing it, I just kinda felt hopeless at the moment I guess and something felt wrong.

So yeah. I just needed to share because telling this to my friends just i don't even know anymore. I'm tired. Goodnight.

what happened


tori: don't start it is bad trust me kk ily

also I'm so sorry that your friend did that. i hope she's ok.



the only thing that's keeping me going right now is my best friend but were kind of lskndavlhkfsalkn ATM and im scared of myself and the power I hold over myself im scared of what I could do 2 myself

I just realized I've been using this thread less and less as I have actual real trusting friends that I can talk to


it's a nice feeling

you're lucky