Oh the email I used isn't linked to my account too, but it's ljillian618@gmail.com, so you can email me there.

Whoa guys. Back up a bit.
I'm 13 ahaha I meant that-
Where I live, grades and schools count for like, 99% of your life. Which sucks, because I'm an A--B+-yet-I-still-somehow-get-honor-roll-cause-the-teachers-like-me kid.
If I want to get into a decent high school, I need to perk up, like, soon. Like 8th grade. And we have NO summer break at all for 8th-to 9th, and no winter break 9th grade.
I'll be taking the test for high school May 2016, I think. Like, two years away and my mother is already like STUDY STUDY STUDY THE TEST THAT TOTALLY MAKES OR RUINS YOUR LIFE IS ONLY TWO YEARS AWAY
And I'm like, Mom. Chill. It's two years away.
And she's like *pushes me away from computer* well you better start studying for it as soon as the year ends. So basically, I only have until winter break next year to be pushed into a flurry of pressure and studies and tests and ughhhhh
And then I won't have the 9th to 10th summer to myself either because we would have to go to freshmen orientation.
Aaaaand which means my life is pretty much mapped out until like 2017 or something.
I know life sucks right?

I have always been afraid of earthquakes. I just am. Maybe because it was an earthquake that nearly destroyed my house a long time ago. I wasn't alive then, but my mother was pregnant with me already.
The retelling of that one still sends shivers down my spine. I live somewhere with a lot of earthquakes, but still it has been a while since there was one as big as this one.
This one was small from where I am; no harm done at all, just a gentle rocking that went on for a good 10 seconds.
But still, compared to other earthquakes last year, this one was bigger. And more sudden if anything. AND it was in the middle of the night.
I have panic attacks when earthquakes happen. Paranoid much? Perhaps, but.
I've always been scared of earthquakes. I'm shaken.

so today we had a program about suicide prevention and we had to be tested for depression and I found I had to lie on the questions so they wouldn't make me talk to someone

I'm pretty sure i'm not depressed, just going through a rough period of loneliness and just vague always-there sadness

I'm just so confused right now

yo whenever i go to the doctor and they hand me the forms saying "have you been feeling depressed lately? are you happy with your life?" i lie on them. you're not alone.

:3 my school had a survey and I said I was bi

it's like the first official thing :')

I had one of those days when everything pissed me the hell off. If I had gotten out of that school a moment later, I would have probably kicked the shit out of the nearest innocent bystander.

okaY I HATE MIXED SIGNALS
like if ur gonna wink @ me and tell me you like my hair pls stick with me

Wow sorry that i don't like all the things you like and you feel the need to criticize me for not liking them...? Like if you like punk music then heyy good for you listen to what makes you happy but you're taking it way too far okay listening to Coldplay does not make me less than you wearing "preppier" clothes does not make me less than you liking things that other people happen to like does not make me less than you.

Like

My friend yammers about how she's all "for equality" but she literally hates anyone who's different from her. Doesn't matter if you have different opinions, different music taste, different drawing style, you're less than her because of it.

But of course, you know, she's sooooo open and accepting.

Also I'm so afraid of dumb things and a lot of the time I keep forgetting that it's all unreasonable and everything will be okay.

I'm just gonna say.
I f*cking hate periods.
They are purely from the devil.
Just like stupid flappy bird.
Flappy bird and periods are bitches.

w h Y IS eV ERY THING SO TRIGGERIN G NOW



like my own blood doesnt bother me in the least but
this guy in latin cut his hand open
and i was panicking like ?S?Gdhg/sdHDSGLk///?/////???????????
and then i was reading a book that described cutting
and it was not good
w HY IS EVERYTHING EXTRA TRIGGERING TO ME RIGHT NOW
I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT IN MY LIFE

on the upside i kind of genuinely loathe myself today and that actually makes me feel much better