BlueMi |
05-23-2015 02:16 PM |
tfw
one of your two best friends from 9th grade and half of 10th grades is lost completely because of a serious drug problem. last summer she was in a friend-with-benefits type of relationship with this guy who i used to be friends with and he really really really liked her and she didn't really like him romantically and just used him for experience with kissing and sex type things and she kept hurting him by making out with other guys at parties because she never made it clear she wasn't romantically interested in him. he would always call me and be crying and ask what happened and me and our other friend would try and help him. at a party at the end of the summer she "broke up" with him and he didn't accept it because she hurt him a lot so he grabbed her and forced her to kiss him and touched her some and at the time she just played it off but a couple weeks later she realized it was sexual harassment and she hated him for it. but it was over. her friends with benefits relationship with him was over and she hated him and as time went on, she got worse. everytime she tells the story of the night at the party, it gets worse. i wasn't there. i don't know what happened. sexual assault is never NEVER never acceptable. he didn't have permission to touch her. but he didn't know he was doing anything wrong, and he apologized profusely. that doesn't mean she has to forgive him or ever see him every again in her life, it doesn't mean she has to forgive him. but she wants him dead. she wants him in jail, she wants him ruined so he can never go to college or have a life. she wants him to die. she also began to abuse her prescription drugs and became addicted. the doctors took her off of it but she has found ways to illegally order them online or buy other drugs off of dealers at school. i probably haven't seen her sober in months. and in her mind, she's okay. she's working on a police case against him. she still goes to school and maintains her grades. but there's so much for me to worry about. she's always high. she hangs around with suspicious people who use her for drugs or sex. her parents don't know how to handle her so instead of getting her some sort of help, any sort of help at all, they're just letting her free. they know about her drug problem. they know she often parties and drinks and has sex with adults and these things she does that are so terrifying to me and they don't stop her, because when they try and restrict her freedoms she tries to run away from home. i still talk to her at school, but there's no way for me to be friends with her anymore. it's just too complicated. there's nothing i can do to help without her getting mad at me, because me trying to help always backfires and she just sees it as me snitching or betraying her.
tfw
i'm jealous and possessive and i have symptoms of various mental illnesses but i can't do anything to help them because i have to maintain my mom's standards of being the perfect daughter while she focuses on dealing with stress of work and my dad who she has a lot of problems with and my brother who has all sort of social disorders but i'm always in such a bad place mentally. i'm always so torn between thinking i'm too hot and cool for my boyfriend and being fucking jealous when he.... hangs out with his friends??? like what's wrong with me??? it's unhealthy i;m disgusting he's going camping this weekend with another family who's like a close friend of his from childhood and it's a girl who's his age and her brother who's like 14 and i'm just,,,, my mom wouldn't let me go and he is going to be alone in the woods for 2 nights with no phone service with her and she's going to be in a bahting suit and no matter how many times he tells me everything's ok it isn't. sometimes i look at myself and im like wow im so beautiful and i want to make sure he knows that im too good for him anyway but im not when it comes down to it and im more reliant on him than any person ever should be and it's disgusting im disgusted with myself and i'm always so anxious and lying to everyone lying about everything and im just
tfw
no friends
bad relationship disguised as good
lying about eveyrthugn
shshosji
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