shut the FUCK up you are PERFECT and you couldn't be a failure if you TRIED. listen to some good-ass music and hang in there.

a vent in the form of some questions
> why aren't i accepted to post-secondary
> why don't i have my own damn car
> why haven't i moved out yet
> where is my motivation
> am i an adult? why am i not treated like an adult? why are my parents' expectations for me as an adult so high?
> where
> the fuck
> is my motivation.

----

and some answers
> motherbitching bio 30 that's why.
> no motivation
> no motivation
> don't fuckin know
> see above
> do not
> fucking
> know

muttr.com is really helpful but beware lots of trolls live there.

Haha don’t you just love that moment when you realize that even though your friends seem to like you when you’re around you’re really just completely replaceable and unimportant and even though you want to get closer to them you can’t because you don’t actually have many classes with them and pretty much the only time you do get to spend around them you still have to mostly focus on your best friend because pretty much every time you go and talk to someone else instead of her while she’s around she assumes you hate her or something and starts crying and recently being around her is just making you feel really crappy but you’re not in a position to be able to separate yourself from her plus that would be a jerk thing to do so you’re just kind of stuck where you are in life even though you feel like you’re trying to claw out of your skin hahaha man I love those moments don’t you.
Also I had testing today so that’s fun (not)

Hey!!! I've missed being around here

okay ah idk if this is the right place to be putting this, but i'm definitely emotional about it so...
so i was just wondering anybody has any experience with missing pets (specifically cats)? i haven't seen my cat (she's indoor/outdoor) in over a week and i'm super torn up about it. i don't think any of my friends really understand it, and i don't blame them--it doesn't sound like it should be a big deal. like big whoop, your cat is missing, there's people that are dying, etc. (none of them have been rude about it but i can tell they don't get it, yaknow?)

so i'm pretty desperate for any and all advice about how i can find her. i just want her to come home. it's been a torturous few days--we've had her for six years, and she's kind of been with me for all the hardest parts of my life, and i just really really love her. (and if anyone has ever been in this same boat, and just wants to commiserate, that is more than welcome)

gahh sorry i know people are going through much worse but i'm absolutely sick with worry and dread and i can't focus at school and i'm constantly on the brink of tears so aHa any help much appreciated thank youu

I don't have any experience with this sort of thing, but I do have two dogs whom I love very much (and this from someone who didn't like dogs that much till now) and I can see that that would just be really difficult.

it is so hard. and i know that nobody really cares but i don't have anyone to talk to about this so imma just vent here-- no pressure to reply.

idk in the beginning it was the uncertainty, just like did she leave by choice? is someone else taking care of her? is she stuck somewhere? hurt? did she get hit by a car? did someone take her to "rid the neighborhood of cats"? (sidenote: anyone who thinks that this okay can go take a huge jump in a lake because nobody has the right to just take other people's pets and "dispose" of them and i could go oN)

but then we found out that it's not just her, but my neighbor's cat is also missing, and while it could be a coincidence, my parents are skeptical. they suspect either foul play or a coyote/fox. but it's just so hard to know--there are a million things that could have happened, a million places she could be, and we'll just never know?? like that's so hard.
she was my first pet, we've had her for six years, she's been with me through all the hardest points in my life and given me so much comfort. when school was really hard and i had no friends and would cry in my bed every night, she could just come cuddle up to me and it helped so much. i was planning on taking her to college with me. as sad/pathetic as it sounds, i considered her one of my best friends.
to just have her snatched away like that is so unbelievably painful. picturing her hurt or sad or lost or lonely or dead rips me up inside. is it better for me to assume her dead (even typing that hurts so much, my brain refuses to accept it), or would it be better for me to keep hoping, when every day the chances of her coming back drop lower and lower? should i have looked earlier? should i have gone to the shelters? is it too late? have i done absolutely everything? i keep thinking she's about to come through the cat door, i feel like i hear the little bell on her collar, it's just agh
idk there's so many different components and i have to keep myself constantly distracted because otherwise the grief overwhelms me.

(i'm sorry this is so jumbled i'm just really in the throes of it rn and i needed an outlet. i'm aware of how stupid this sounds to everyone else, believe me--that's why it's so hard to talk to friends about it, because she's "just a cat". idk guys sorry)

ohh damn my dude, I'm so sorry I hope you find her. This definitely counts as a big whoop. If my cat went missing I would lose my fucking shit (pardon my language), the day she dies (which will be never, she's immortal) I already know I'm staying home from everything, wrapped in a blanket, bawling my eyes tf out bc I love my baby. So the fact that you are emotional abt your cat going missing is completely reasonable and understandable.

on a more helpful note, my brother's cat is super inbred and dumb and has wandered off multiple times, so I do actually have some experience with this.
Things you can do:
- check the shelters. call them, let them know your cat is missing, leave a description and a way for them to contact you if they find her.
- put up Missing Cat posters, you can also go door-to-door and ask if anyone has seen her.
- check areas near you where there's debris or places she could easily get stuck. The neighbors once found my bro's cat with his head stuck in a tire frame bc, as mentioned before, he's really really dumb.
- If you moved houses while you had her, try looking around the area you used to live, cats will often trek back to the places they consider 'home', on occasion some have even made cross-country journeys (no lie).
- she might just show up again out of nowhere. Cats are weird like that. They go places, they do things, it's best not to question them.
- Putting food out might help, but it also might attract raccoons and skunks and other such villainous critters, and since you already mentioned she's partly an outdoor cat she can probably hunt mice and birbs well enough to keep herself fed so don't fret about that.

That's all I can think of for now. I really hope you find her soon! ;~;

Oh god okay my dog who’s been with me all my life just had a seizure right in front of me and fuck fuck fuck I feel terrible I feel so panicky and awful and useless and no nononon