Originally Posted by nngo (Post 351354)

They say that the 'author type' is the moody, brooding, angsty type. Proof is this thread.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 351161)

Here's another idea like the butterfly thing…
Get a string/bracelet. Every day that you don't cut/self-harm, put a bead on it. If you do self-harm, take all the beads off.
That might help, too…

@Heather: You're not just an emotionless blob. Look at all the times you've tried (and succeeded) in helping people—you care. Your life does matter, if only because we all care about you and we need you to keep living.
If you're cutting because it feels like you can't feel anything… try listening to Forever and Always. Or just some song that usually makes you feel something, or a song that you can relate to (that's not depressing). Do something other than cut—punch yourself, punch, but don't cut. Those are also bad to get into, but it's better than cutting.

Originally Posted by DragonRider (Post 351178)

Oh. My. God.
cheeze, you normally seem so happy! I don't know what to say...
Heather... *hugs* Don't cut. Please. *hugs harder* Life is only how you make it, if that makes sense. If you view the world and yourself badly, then it will be bad. Just try and be happy. If not for yourself, then for us.
Ivhamsters... I agree with cheeze. We are all a family on KP. I've had a similar thing happen recently, just before the summer, but it started online, went on to be in school, then continued online. If it gets bad, tell your parents or someone you REALLY trust.

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 351198)

Originally Posted by LizzieS (Post 351339)

I can't even read through this single page without getting really scared for all of you.

*quietly closes thread*

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 351124)

I know. I love you, too. :D Yeah, I know, I'm funny and smart and beautiful and blahdeeblah shit. Like... I know that. Even if I never really say it because I don't want to sound conceited. But either you're repeating a lie or you believe it, and I want it to be the second. So the second it is. I just don't know if I believe it too. My parents have ways of making me cry within seconds, I swear. I was going to cry twice at that open house I went to today, ohmygod. But I can't think of why he would like me.
Life is way too short, and I want to believe I have more than one shot at it. If you want to know what my 'belief' is, well, there's no religion for it since it doesn't include a god (not really) but I'd be more than happy to share it with you. I'm honestly not that strong, though. That's why I have--I need friends.

I don't know your email. You can post it and then delete it if you want... Hon, I'm sorry. No one deserves to be depressed, not even me, and that's probably saying something.

Good. Good. It gets better. It's worth it. Get out of your pit and climb your own mountain. Reverse your life for the better, not for the worse. Fight the gravity. Up's the only way out.

If anyone out there is--hell, I am-was-maybe-tonight-I-will-again-IDK--then please, please look up the Butterfly Project. Except for I drew a butterfly and a tree and for awhile it helped but once I just couldn't help myself and I HAD to see if I could feel anything, anything at all or if I was an emotionless blob whose existence didn't matter and that it wouldn't matter if I killed myself. That's what the scratching is for me, anyways--a way to make sure I can FEEL, that dying would HURT and so NO Heather DON'T kill yourself because you don't WANT that kind of pain, just settle for this, pain with no gain, no impact, yes, good, hurt. So I'm not a good role model because I scratched over the goddamn tree BUT I DREW ANOTHER and I'm trying and that COUNTS doesn't it I just sorry this is way too long okay stopping now

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 351161)

Here's another idea like the butterfly thing…
Get a string/bracelet. Every day that you don't cut/self-harm, put a bead on it. If you do self-harm, take all the beads off.
That might help, too…

@Heather: You're not just an emotionless blob. Look at all the times you've tried (and succeeded) in helping people—you care. Your life does matter, if only because we all care about you and we need you to keep living.
If you're cutting because it feels like you can't feel anything… try listening to Forever and Always. Or just some song that usually makes you feel something, or a song that you can relate to (that's not depressing). Do something other than cut—punch yourself, punch, but don't cut. Those are also bad to get into, but it's better than cutting.

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 351337)

I know exactly how you feel. -_-

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 351198)

Originally Posted by LizzieS (Post 351339)

I can't even read through this single page without getting really scared for all of you.

*quietly closes thread*

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 351428)

Isn't that what EmmaB did? You gave us a link to her DA journal and I remember her saying there were more than 90? 60? Well, anyway, I remember that was a lot.

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 351361)

I do NOT cut, man. I scratch. Hurts like hell, too. And then it stays, not the scars, because it doesn't give you scars, it gives you these white crisscrossing lines that fade to reddish pink and it's beautifully tragic. :|

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 351428)

I used to cut. It's not like I was sad or anything, but I wanted to feel some pain. And nope, I don't want to die.
I probably sound crazy.


Isn't that what EmmaB did? You gave us a link to her DA journal and I remember her saying there were more than 90? 60? Well, anyway, I remember that was a lot.


Yeah, the friendships I had with other people that are screwed up is 90% screwed up by myself.

Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 351586)

Heather: emmamsun@gmail.com

Lily: If your friendships seem like they keep getting screwed up, then maybe you just haven't found the right friends yet. You can get different types of friends, the ones who are nice enough to have around, but wouldn't miss you much if you left, and the ones who can sometimes suck to have around, but will stick by you through it all. Don't lose faith, you will find those friends. There's nothing wrong with you, or with making friends.

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 351738)

I made a list of reasons why I shouldn't be depressed.
There were 12 reasons.
They all seemed good enough.
And then, I couldn't help myself.
I made a list of reasons underneath that why I AM depressed.
Forty-eight reasons.
For every one reason I can think of for not being depressed, I can think of at least four more why I am.
And that depresses me more than anything.
this was supposed to be a happy thing oops

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 351816)

Could I...
Could I...

see this list? :'/
I'll get on my email if my mom lets me on my computer we can email quickly back n' forth like a chat or somethin'