I tried it and failed.

I can't write it. x_x

Yeah, I am giving up.

Wow. Here is my emotional vent. I am no longer Co_writing with Max. What do I do? Answer: forgive him and move on.

I never said I was discontiuing it with you...well, I did but yup. I don't like the story we made, exactly (no offense) but I think we could have made it better. I need to foucs on FW and I haven't for ages. I can't discontinue my favourite story, Kendra. I just can't.

I understand. I am just sad that we can't continue it. And it is fine. Just next time make sure that you know you will be able to co-write when you sign up for it :D. You're forgiven :)

... Am I one of those people? I hope not... >____________>

Godfuckingdammit.
I'm sorry, Sophie, I completely missed this yesterday. /headdesk
BUT FEAR NOT. I'm here now... /handsSnickers
First things first: it gets better. We're in a really tough spot right now, Soph, all of us 8th graders, applying and stressing and worrying the freak out about test scores and being perfect role models and shit. It's horrid to go through depression on top of this, but you know how life goes: it doesn't give a fuck. It hands us stuff on a silver platter but we don't know whether it's poisoned or not, and when we refuse to try it, we get no other food, no nourishment to keep us going. I was like that too, remember? I didn't recognize myself or anyone, I was just an emotionless drifting organism and I didn't feel at all, it was horrible, it was terrifying, and ultimately, it was RIDICULOUS. Because Sophie, let me ask you this: what is the point of life if not to live? Indeed, we MUST live, because it's our duty to the world. We intruded upon it and made it bad, we live to fix it and fix ourselves in the process--at least, this is what I believe. Okay? Do you see what I'm saying? This is why I've been so frustrated lately: I want to get out and DO something, I don't feel like living MY life anymore--I want to go on an adventure and I want to be passionate and brave instead of sniveling and feeling nothing, and I think you'd rather that to the alternative as well. Unfortunately, since we can't just get the fuck away because of reasons I articulated in my rant (see: when I'm saying why I can't kill myself, it's basically the same reasons), we must deal with life as it comes to us. And within our boring monotony, we must find ways to LIVE within our life. We mustn't shake our heads and sigh at every little thing. Fill yourself up while you can, Sophie, life is short and never forget it. Live each and every day with no roleplaying but yourself: become yourself, FIND yourself. I know it's not such an easy thing to do. I know it gets so goddamn hard and you want to cry. But you can't cry--you know that. You'll do no such thing as pathetic and weak as cry. (Even if some tears do not fit the qualification, it makes you feel burning up from within and saddens you more. I advise against crying for the time being. Screaming into pillows, on the other hand...) Conjure up emotion and really FEEL it. Read poetry, lots and lots of poetry--poetry is good for getting the emotional juices flowing. And write poetry, too--you're excellent at that, it shouldn't be a problem. Live your normal, common, exhausting, everyday life, and live it WELL. Enjoy your time because believe it or not, you don't have much left. That's my advice to you.

Mother of God, why did I have to make all these friends in the past few months when I'm never going to see most of them again? Some of the kids from my old school are going to the same one as mine, but not the majority of them, and what about these kids? Am I just going to forget about them? And when I see my old friends of nine years again? Sure, we're close, but will there be new things that I won't understand because I wasn't there for them? What about me? I've changed a lot since I last saw them, and will they still be care about me? When I saw them last month, I was surprised to see that they were actually glad to see me, ha. I'm going to sign up for one of the clubs at my old school, and I hope I can just see them all together one last time. I wish I could've known how lucky I was a couple years ago.

Don't think like that. You shouldn't refrain from making friends just because you're not going to see them again. Make the most of it and let it go when you have to.

I am feeling so depressed about how many vents there are about here... about bad things. (you know what I mean... like feeling bad.)

So here is a happy thing!
I have auditions for Beauty and the Beast, a musical I have been waiting for forever. I am so excited!

Sorry 'bout that. Needed to get some happiness in here! :)

Umm.. *asking this in the nicest way possible* why did you say you would co-write with them?