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*sigh* I understand it, but it's just so... boring. And the kids are mean to me. I feel uninspired. I just don't give a sh!t anymore. |
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Yeah, school can be boring. But it isn't going to get less boring if you stop trying. That will cause it to get worse, and you might be placed in lower-level classes, which will be even more boring. School will get more difficult in high school. You are smart, but that's useless if you don't work hard for your keep in life. |
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~Gerard Way That's all you can do. Just know that you're probably the smartest kid in your grade and several grades above and that you can kick butt at whatever you try to do if you put your mind to it. |
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Leave me alone, Dad.
I don't need school friends... just leave me alone. I'm fine. I don't need anyone. I like being alone. |
Sometimes I just don't want to live anymore.
But then I remember school. And music. And happy shit. And all that stuff. And it makes it... I don't know if it's worth it or not. I want it to be worth it. But it's been getting worse, and they don't understand me, and I need to express this better but lately I am just SHIT with words and my writing is craptastic and my mouth is sore as fuck so like IDK. And yeah, I'm depressed, too. So what? So WHAT. I was half-crying in front of my mom and she didn't notice. In fact, no one really seems to notice. It was REALLY bad yesterday. Then I stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped sniveling over my pathetic shit of a life. Temporarily. It's back, and... it's back. That's really all there is to it. I really, really want to be happy. But that's not working out right now. |
Oh.
Oh okay. So it's PERFECTLY fine for you to sigh and gripe when I don't move my things off of the kitchen table within two seconds of you asking? (And I'm not really exaggerating. If I'd been counting it would probably be around ten or fifteen.) But then, when I sigh after explaining something for the fourth time that you still don't understand, I'm a bitch and a bad daughter and 'HEATHER, don't DO that, it's RUDE'--hahahahaha. Hah. HA. I see how it is. You fucking hypocrites. |
To P: I want to be mad at you for hating me, but then I wonder if you have a point. Either way, please go kill yourself.
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High five. I know the feeling. |
When you say "thank you," I say "you're welcome." But what I want to say is "no, thank YOU." Because, you noticed. I did something right--for once--and you NOTICED that and took the time to appreciate the fact that hey, my daughter is not such a fucked-up little girl after all. And that helps.
Thank you. |
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