Well, I mean, now that I can't relate to the darker posts on this thread anymore, I feel like the outsider and now this thread just sketches me out more than anything, for the most part. Now whenever I go on it, I just want to get off it right away with my eyes still intact... ._. (No offense to anyone on here.)
And besides, it's a pretty personal problem, and lately I've developed a lot of feel-blocks and barriers in my mind as coping methods, and they're working quite well, too well almost, so it just seems weird for me to break them just so I can plaster stuff on the internet. It wasn't always this way, I know... >_<

Don't feel like a useless blob! o_o I just hide stuff because of my own insecurities about appearing weak and how I've changed listening to my friend who will literally spill any deep, dark secret of her family if you listen to her for long enough and say the right things. e_e It's weeiirdd...
And yeah.... that's exactly what I've been doing. o_o I keep my headphones firmly on my head so I can't hear anything that goes on downstairs. I swear, I wear these 20+ hours a day because I'm never completely certain when it's going to happen. e_e

(*reads your post after sending the email*) ... Oh... that probably wasn't a good explanation of what was going on exactly. >___< It was mostly just me blubbering... sorry about that. (*no dignity*) If you want to hear the full story, let me know, I'm fine with telling it to people because honestly, I'm not sure if I care anymore... but this thread is not the place to do it. >_>


(People on the emotional venting thread, don't respond to this saying that I'm calling you attention-seekers or anything like that. I'm not. I'm just answering Ash's post, nothing more, okay? I will not reply to any posts that start shooting me down just because I'm not head over heels in love with this thread anymore. Move along, people, move along...)

...............Okay, seriously, what the heck is wrong with me? #_# My heart's racing, my head feels heavy, and I have this horrible sense of dread and guilt hanging over me for no reason whatsoever. And this has been going on for two. Whole. Hours. Am I having some kind of mini-panic-attack or something?!
._.

I know how that feels. >_>
I'm sure you already know this, but just do your best to calm down. For the guilt, tell yourself that you did nothing wrong. I've been getting that all day, and I've actually been able to fight it by reminding myself that there's nothing I need to feel guilty about. Sure, we all have our stupid mistakes and occasional mess-ups, but it's no reason to be miserable.
For the dread, I would say just do your best to be calm and relax. <:^c I hope this passes soon.

OH MY GOSH, so it's not just me....? o_e I feel SO GUILTY for not replying to hardly any of the posts on here anymore, since the majority of them stress me out and make me feel too bad and concerned to be able to handle replying...>w<...all this talk of cutting and suicide and abuse....DANGIT, SELF, Y U BE AN HSP AND THUS CONSTANTLY FEELING THE FEELS OF OTHER PEOPLE?! *bawls* ;w;

That's exactly how I felt a few months ago....now all my emotional blocking walls have suddenly crumbled and I'm drowning in feels. XD XD DX DX

No, no, it's okay, I understand you were just venting. <:^J I want to know whatever you feel comfortable telling me.

Holy crap, I think I AM starting to have a bit of a panic attack...x_x kjbdafjklbdkjbkad I'll reply to your email in the morning, okay? XD XD DX DX jdbskjcmn ;w; Whattheheckishappeningggggg....

Thanks, Cass. I'll try to think of something. #_#


EDIT: And don't think your vent had anything to do with this, okay? O_O This started an hour before I came on KP and read about what's happening with you...soooo...yeah.

.... (*wants to start howling "OMG ASH NOOO DON'T REPLY IF IT BOTHERS YOU!! ASDKLASJDKL!! ;___;" but carefully selects words that will calm you down*)

If it's in any way affected by my email, I just want you to know that I'm okay... if you're worrying about me or something. o_O I'm okay up here in my room, and I've got a very good handle on my feels.
Take care of yourself, okay? <:^j

You're not converting to a new religion, yoy can just start wearing black clothes or whatever the hell it is you mean.

Really? o_O (*wonders if possibly schizotypal personality has anything to do with how I feel for this thread*)
I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I'm so unable to connect with these posts anymore that I get disgusted and irritated... I don't understand the concept of ten-year-olds cutting themselves and people just giving in to suicide--it is much harder to kill a human than people think >_<. I just... don't understand. Cannot relate... connection severed.

...

Hmmm.... interesting... I shall ponder this... (*strokes L-hair in an L-like fashion while sitting like L because my inability to react emotionally is starting to remind me of L... e___e*)

But don't feel guilty about it, Ash! For Pete's sake, it's not your job to babysit everyone's emotions (that came out a LOT harsher than I intended... o_O but it was the only way I could word it... hopefully you see what I mean though? *winces*), especially when they're powerful like they have been lately on here. (*hugs*)

For some reason, ever since I've seen Rise of the Guardians, I've been beating myself up for not spending as much time with young kids as I'd like to. I mean... a reading program doesn't cut it. I don't want to teach kids stuff, I'm BAD at that... >_< I love kids, I want to have snowball fights and flail around and play peekaboo with magical Easter Eggs and askjdlajkdjasld
I'm too much like my dad for my own good... my dad is AMAZING with kids because there's like this little kid inside him that just wants to derp around with lego and comic books and somehow I've inhereted that... (and I don't mean that in a creepy pedo way. ._. C'mon man. XD)
And somehow, I'M the one who gets the fear of pregnancy and childbirth and motherhood? e_______e WHY.

Ignore me... the characters in that movie give me so many feels.... and it's half an hour past midnight... pfft... (*re-reads this and laughs at self*) I need to learn to stay off the internet late at night. XD XD

RAMBLE... pointless ramble... e_e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDloBdYSM0k

._.

Goes to look for songs to calm me down; finds some and feels a lot better, then accidentally clicks on THAT SONG, and suddenly makes mood change from mostly scared and twitchy to pretty much exactly every lyric in the song...the heck is up with me tonight? DX

And the worst part is I can't tell anyone what it is that's bothering me...not my friends, not my mentor-type people, not anyone on KP, NO ONE. I can't even rant to the person who caused all this junk because they wouldn't own up to a single thing they did to me or feel guilty about it, they'd just pass the buck to someone else OH MY GOSH I HATE YOU SO BLEEPING MUCH SHUT UP GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU RUINED IT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RUINING MY YEAR.