I was in the EXACT same situation as you a month ago. I REALLY wanted this part (and I mean REALLY; I learned all of her songs and worked my ass off on every bit of her lines and practiced my performance day in and day out), and a couple of other really good people did too. I didn't end up getting the part; my best friend did (she didn't actually audition for the part, she wanted a different part but was still happy). And you know what? I was really happy. I got a good part (I'm part of a group in the ensemble and we're in, like, EVERY scene), I get to understudy for the lead (yup, be jealous), and my best friend is SO GOOD that I know I wouldn't have gotten the part anyways. I wasn't what they were looking for, and someone her being SO MUCH better than me was really comforting. If someone who I thought I was better than or could be better than got the part, I would've probably been upset, but I realized that there was no chance for me, and it got a lot easier. I really felt no remorse, even though I have little spurts of jealousy it's nothing like the devastation I thought I would feel.
So you'll probably be okay. I know the feel, man. I was totally DYING the day before wanting to know the cast. Good luck, and I hope you get the part!

A lot of the time when I don't respond it's because (1) I don't usually like to come on here regularly because the posts make me sad, and (2) I usually don't have anything helpful to say. I would rather stay silent and let other people help than to say stuff that wouldn't help at all.
But I CAN give you this: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md...aoq4o1_400.gif

Everyone has a job to do. There are idiots to oppose the intellectuals, rebels to break boundaries, poets to express emotion, and people to break stereotypes.

Esther, you could be any one of those that I listed. In fact, you have been. Don't wish that you weren't here. If you are having trouble getting through the day, I like to daydream and fantasize about having a different life.

And the people to prove stereotypes. Which, by the way, are often true. Like the writers with messed up childhoods and morbid thoughts.

On the subject of morbid thoughts, I find killhouettes.com an awesome place. :]

@People who think their posts aren't read:

Bear in mind that this thread is one of the most stalked threads... ever. Especially by me. Like Ash, I try to avoid it nowadays, but occasionally I'll quote someone, get a couple sentences into a reply, and then completely chicken out.

I know I for one read every single post on here. I withhold my responses for good reason, however.

I don't even know.
 

Nobody wants to change--nobody ever does want to change their lives...our lives want us and force us and need us to stay the same...everything is going right for me at this age at age 12 at 2:45PM at 29 January 2013. Everything changes, though, and we want it to stop so bad--but sometimes, we need to act mature.

I don't want to change.

I don't want my writing to change. I don't want anything to change--

It is just too much.

*hugs* I share your feelings about not wanting to grow up so much, it's absolutely completely terrifying.

Try to believe. And, even if you can't, just be thankful and happy for it at least seeming like happiness. If you can't manage that, then tell yourself you are.
Happiness is real, even if it's really hard to feel that way.

Maybe you'll get a cruddy job, but that's a means to an end. You'll have so much more outside that. You definitely seem like you can survive adult life :3
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING KP UNTIL YOU'RE EIGHTEEN, LIKE YOU SAID.

I know how you feel… you can repair yourself. It might take some time, and life might seem to fly by while you do, but you will get better. And you're not getting left behind in the dust—there's so much more ahead.