The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Sandy 04-05-2013 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 447595)
Ever walked into a room/An/thread/whatever and asked a question, or said hello, making yourself known. And have you ever -that's EVER- been ignored. Or even remotely felt like it. No one answering your question or 'good morning'; no one acknowledging your perfectly good existence. and so you wish to delete that question or hello and hide, deep, deep, deep away where no one will find you because you already feel ignored and it has happened several times so you figure 'Who cares'?
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-conte...ebob-shame.gif

Completely exaggerated. But this runs through my mind...

For me it really depends what mood I'm in. In real life, I prefer to be ignored and am actually used to and comfortable with it, and other people are content with ignoring me; it's a mutual agreement my body language makes with the people around me. At my high, happy points, if I want to sy something I'll say it louder; if I'm sad I'll feel the same way you described but worse.

rebecca 04-05-2013 04:27 PM

I love that GIF!

Easy way to get attention number 83923839:
Post awesome gifs. Especially brightly coloured ones. They attract eyes. People will then read your posts.

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll...7rbqo1_250.gif

maxi 04-05-2013 06:20 PM

So, lately, I haven't felt like a writer. I've either been never on Word or just keep on posting these random things that never get finished and that—to me—is not a writer. <___< Who likes a writer who doesn't keep up with the stories that he writes and that he never finishes one story... He just goes onto another one and another one and my writing is just going crap... into my newbie days. Ugh.

Sandy 04-05-2013 10:08 PM

schizotypy
 
Throughout WB some of you may have seen me mention something about needing the EVT every once in a while, just to get stuff off my chest. I don't require responses (not that I'd get any anyways...) but I just need to vent. So.. yeah... don't hurt me


Dear Sandy:
You honestly might as well give up now.

Look at you. Twitching. Hallucinating. Panicking. Unable to maintain any kind of concentration. Unable to handle stress.
You're one of the lessers of society, the ones that contribute nothing and burden everyone.
"Mentally unfit."
This is why you can't seem to sustain any shred of self-worth.

You will never have the life you see in books
You will never have the experience of "understanding" another human being


And here you are. Sitting here. Jacked up on caffeine to keep the bad thoughts away and they still find you. They track you down no matter where you are and they find you and soak deep into your skin until there's nothing else left inside. If you weren't addicted to caffeine you'd be addicted to something else. You're either too weak or too insane to keep yourself from drowning on your own--you need something to depend on.

You're not normal, Sandy.
That's bad.
You're dangerous.
You look around yourself at school and think, "No, no, everyone feels this way. Everyone feels this way. This is normal and I'm not alone."
For you, "normal" is nihilism.
Normal is suicidal.
Normal is self-loathing.
Normal is mania.
Normal is hallucinating.

But again and again, you're proven wrong.
No, NOT everyone is supposed to feel like this
It's NOT normal to have the pictures in the gymnasium wall whisper your name
It's NOT normal to see people in hospital uniforms nailed to the wall in your room like the statue of Jesus's crucifixion.
It's NOT normal to hear screaming
It's NOT NORMAL
YOU'RE NOT NORMAL
THERE'S
SOMETHING
WRONG
WITH
YOU
THAT
MAKES
YOU
INFERIOR
TO
THEM





sometimes i wonder if there really is someone else who lives like this
anyone else
anyone else who i could ask for help
anyone else who could tell me what to do, tell me why i have to be the one person in my family
why did it have to be me
but there's never anyone else
i don't want meds, i know i can be okay without them
i don't know what to do
i'm trying to live my life but this just keeps coming back
oh god, crying now...
i'm just trying to live life like everyone else
but even the simplest things... are
so

tiring


these





days

TheAshWolf 04-05-2013 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 447725)
Throughout WB some of you may have seen me mention something about needing the EVT every once in a while, just to get stuff off my chest. I don't require responses (not that I'd get any anyways...) but I just need to vent. So.. yeah... don't hurt me


Dear Sandy:
You honestly might as well give up now.

Look at you. Twitching. Hallucinating. Panicking. Unable to maintain any kind of concentration. Unable to handle stress.
You're one of the lessers of society, the ones that contribute nothing and burden everyone.
"Mentally unfit."
This is why you can't seem to sustain any shred of self-worth.

You will never have the life you see in books
You will never have the experience of "understanding" another human being


And here you are. Sitting here. Jacked up on caffeine to keep the bad thoughts away and they still find you. They track you down no matter where you are and they find you and soak deep into your skin until there's nothing else left inside. If you weren't addicted to caffeine you'd be addicted to something else. You're either too weak or too insane to keep yourself from drowning on your own--you need something to depend on.

You're not normal, Sandy.
That's bad.
You're dangerous.
You look around yourself at school and think, "No, no, everyone feels this way. Everyone feels this way. This is normal and I'm not alone."
For you, "normal" is nihilism.
Normal is suicidal.
Normal is self-loathing.
Normal is mania.
Normal is hallucinating.

But again and again, you're proven wrong.
No, NOT everyone is supposed to feel like this
It's NOT normal to have the pictures in the gymnasium wall whisper your name
It's NOT normal to see people in hospital uniforms nailed to the wall in your room like the statue of Jesus's crucifixion.
It's NOT normal to hear screaming
It's NOT NORMAL
YOU'RE NOT NORMAL
THERE'S
SOMETHING
WRONG
WITH
YOU
THAT
MAKES
YOU
INFERIOR
TO
THEM





sometimes i wonder if there really is someone else who lives like this
anyone else
anyone else who i could ask for help
anyone else who could tell me what to do, tell me why i have to be the one person in my family
why did it have to be me
but there's never anyone else
i don't want meds, i know i can be okay without them
i don't know what to do
i'm trying to live my life but this just keeps coming back
oh god, crying now...
i'm just trying to live life like everyone else
but even the simplest things... are
so

tiring


these





days

;__; *is actually tearing up right now*

I honestly don't know what to say, Cass.

All I can tell you is what I've always told you: You're NOT inferior. You're superior to a lot of people in intelligence, mathematical knowledge, general artistic skills, and a whole bunch of other things. You're superior to me in all those things, and you don't know how much I admire you because of that. You're incredibly down-to-earth and sensible, at least when it comes to other people and know life works. And, honestly, I've given up on understanding ANY other human being, because we're all different, and we all have a degree of mental instability inside us. Don't feel like you're "mentally unfit" compared to someone else, because we ALL are. We're ALL screwed up.

You said that you need something to depend on. School seems to help you, doesn't it? Keeping your mind preoccupied? If the stress of school is getting to you, breaking you down, then that's one thing I can totally and completely relate to. (I'll tell you more about that later.)

I don't know why you're seeing and hearing things, Cassandra. I really don't. Could be stress, could be something more. All I can say is that you shouldn't take meds for whatever is going on. You're strong enough to be fine without them. I know you are. This will pass, just like it passed the last time. Just give it some time. I'm always here if you want to vent about it. I'm always going to support you, no matter how far away I am or how many times this happens.

I can identify with most of what you said...but I just wish I had some definitive answer for you. :( I'm sorry, Sandy. *bear hug* Feel free to send me a message if you ever want to talk.

AlgebraAddict 04-05-2013 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 447725)
Throughout WB some of you may have seen me mention something about needing the EVT every once in a while, just to get stuff off my chest. I don't require responses (not that I'd get any anyways...) but I just need to vent. So.. yeah... don't hurt me


Dear Sandy:
You honestly might as well give up now.

Look at you. Twitching. Hallucinating. Panicking. Unable to maintain any kind of concentration. Unable to handle stress.
You're one of the lessers of society, the ones that contribute nothing and burden everyone.
"Mentally unfit."
This is why you can't seem to sustain any shred of self-worth.

You will never have the life you see in books
You will never have the experience of "understanding" another human being


And here you are. Sitting here. Jacked up on caffeine to keep the bad thoughts away and they still find you. They track you down no matter where you are and they find you and soak deep into your skin until there's nothing else left inside. If you weren't addicted to caffeine you'd be addicted to something else. You're either too weak or too insane to keep yourself from drowning on your own--you need something to depend on.

You're not normal, Sandy.
That's bad.
You're dangerous.
You look around yourself at school and think, "No, no, everyone feels this way. Everyone feels this way. This is normal and I'm not alone."
For you, "normal" is nihilism.
Normal is suicidal.
Normal is self-loathing.
Normal is mania.
Normal is hallucinating.

But again and again, you're proven wrong.
No, NOT everyone is supposed to feel like this
It's NOT normal to have the pictures in the gymnasium wall whisper your name
It's NOT normal to see people in hospital uniforms nailed to the wall in your room like the statue of Jesus's crucifixion.
It's NOT normal to hear screaming
It's NOT NORMAL
YOU'RE NOT NORMAL
THERE'S
SOMETHING
WRONG
WITH
YOU
THAT
MAKES
YOU
INFERIOR
TO
THEM





sometimes i wonder if there really is someone else who lives like this
anyone else
anyone else who i could ask for help
anyone else who could tell me what to do, tell me why i have to be the one person in my family
why did it have to be me
but there's never anyone else
i don't want meds, i know i can be okay without them
i don't know what to do
i'm trying to live my life but this just keeps coming back
oh god, crying now...
i'm just trying to live life like everyone else
but even the simplest things... are
so

tiring


these





days


Leave Sandy alone. She's not inferior. She's pretty and smart and amazing and talented and awesome in every way.


The voices suck, I know.

LaurenM 04-05-2013 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 447725)
Throughout WB some of you may have seen me mention something about needing the EVT every once in a while, just to get stuff off my chest. I don't require responses (not that I'd get any anyways...) but I just need to vent. So.. yeah... don't hurt me


Dear Sandy:
You honestly might as well give up now.

Look at you. Twitching. Hallucinating. Panicking. Unable to maintain any kind of concentration. Unable to handle stress.
You're one of the lessers of society, the ones that contribute nothing and burden everyone.
"Mentally unfit."
This is why you can't seem to sustain any shred of self-worth.

You will never have the life you see in books
You will never have the experience of "understanding" another human being


And here you are. Sitting here. Jacked up on caffeine to keep the bad thoughts away and they still find you. They track you down no matter where you are and they find you and soak deep into your skin until there's nothing else left inside. If you weren't addicted to caffeine you'd be addicted to something else. You're either too weak or too insane to keep yourself from drowning on your own--you need something to depend on.

You're not normal, Sandy.
That's bad.
You're dangerous.
You look around yourself at school and think, "No, no, everyone feels this way. Everyone feels this way. This is normal and I'm not alone."
For you, "normal" is nihilism.
Normal is suicidal.
Normal is self-loathing.
Normal is mania.
Normal is hallucinating.

But again and again, you're proven wrong.
No, NOT everyone is supposed to feel like this
It's NOT normal to have the pictures in the gymnasium wall whisper your name
It's NOT normal to see people in hospital uniforms nailed to the wall in your room like the statue of Jesus's crucifixion.
It's NOT normal to hear screaming
It's NOT NORMAL
YOU'RE NOT NORMAL
THERE'S
SOMETHING
WRONG
WITH
YOU
THAT
MAKES
YOU
INFERIOR
TO
THEM





sometimes i wonder if there really is someone else who lives like this
anyone else
anyone else who i could ask for help
anyone else who could tell me what to do, tell me why i have to be the one person in my family
why did it have to be me
but there's never anyone else
i don't want meds, i know i can be okay without them
i don't know what to do
i'm trying to live my life but this just keeps coming back
oh god, crying now...
i'm just trying to live life like everyone else
but even the simplest things... are
so

tiring


these





days

I think Esther has voices...
I can't really offer any reassurance, because I don't really know much about schizophrenia :/

Lily09 04-05-2013 10:55 PM

tw: anorexia/bulimia

"wow, yay, I'm actually full for once! I hate not being able to eat a lot because of my condition." is what you said

this might be rude or bitchy or something but
i wish i could be hungry each day
i wish i didn't have to give in to food
i wish i didn't have to feel full every day
i wish i didn't have to eat
i wish i could just see myself as skinny


L.S.Trendom 04-05-2013 11:02 PM

*about all i can manage to reply to right now*
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 447748)
tw: anorexia/bulimia

"wow, yay, I'm actually full for once! I hate not being able to eat a lot because of my condition." is what you said

this might be rude or bitchy or something but
i wish i could be hungry each day
i wish i didn't have to give in to food
i wish i didn't have to feel full every day
i wish i didn't have to eat
i wish i could just see myself as skinny


You eating makes me and other people really happy, though.
You are skinny enough, and pretty enough. You just can't see that. *hugs*

L.S.Trendom 04-05-2013 11:52 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAanK42G7MA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcEcmtXmXNU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAOSy8WyqPk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VURp1phPOGs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W3u5yXt9Zc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vtrZQgG1uA
dying pretty much sounds good now, or falling asleep and not waking back up
i wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else
i deserve it
the world would have one less shitty person

but that's unfortunately not really an option
and, really, hopelessness isn't even contributing now, i just hate myself so fucking much

also i'm afraid i'll lose more friends


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