have i ever mentioned just how much i hate myself and how i want to cut myself further than my bones and how i want to kill myself in all ways possible and how i want to check myself into a fucking mental hospital because god, will no one accept that i'm horribly twisted and fucked up without saying that it's okay, because they are too? did i ever say how much i don't care? how i just want to run out of my fucking life that i've fucked up so damn much and i don't want to live, at all? do you ever get to thinking, this wouldn't've happened without me. and oh, this too. and that. and this. and that. and this. and motherfucking THAT. none of this would've gotten to this fucked up place if i hadn't done anything. if i hadn't been fucking born. and i don't want to be born and i don't want to die, that's not the point. i just want to not live. as myself. and i've figured out who becca and monica and hedge are. they're blamees. i can't bear that it's all my fucking, my stupid fucking fault that i've actually created people, inside my fucked up head, to take the blame for me. how fucking ridiculous is that? doesn't it make you just want to run off a fucking cliff? and yet i can't seem to get rid of them. i am too weak to do so. they are a tribute to my weakness. everything in my life is, really. i know that the world doesn't revolve around me, but it seems like everything wrong in the world does.

I wish i could actually hug you right now and tell you that you are fucking amazing.
You deserve to be happy, not to die.
Maybe you are horribly twisted and fucked up. And, no, that's not okay, because it's not good for you. I know how much it sucks, sometimes… but, you know what? despite that, you're still a great person. I'm glad you're my friend.

Thanks for the advice.
You're not weak. You're anything but. You've been pushing through this for such a long time. You're strong. You're fantastic. You're going to be okay. Things will get better. One day you could be the one using words to help someone just like you. You'll be inspirational. You already are to me. Heather, everything's going to be alright. Stick around for me, okay?

i can't really say much to this but thank you.
*cries quietly in the corner*

*hugs you almost to death as you cry*

We'll always be here to help you. Even after we're too old for KP.

*hugs you back to the end of the universe*
yeah, why do you think we have tumblrs?
*hugs* like you told me, it will get better. and the thoughts that try and knock you down, well, let them. we'll be here to pick you back up.

That means a lot coming from you. Thank you so much for being there.

you're welcome. :3