Thanks, that really helped a lot. :)

I'm glad I could help :3

HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!! It's gonna be okay. Just breathe. Relax. Think about Circus Camp: How fun you had, (if it has already happened) the end. I know it sucks, I know this seems like pixels on a computer monitor, but just know, we're all here for you. :o

No!
D:

http://media-cache-ec2.pinterest.com...6dJo9v4w_c.jpg
And you very likely already know this, but it doesn't matter what you look like, what matters is who you are. And, like lvhamsters said, chances are you're seeing yourself as worse than you are.
AAAAAND it's like scientifically proven most people are too preoccupied with worrying about how they seem/look to pay attention to how you look. *from a book I read and something Ash said*

@Heather: Dx What happened?

I don't know who I am anymore.

I feel like a shadow. I don't feel like myself anymore. I start pointing out my own flaws and think to myself, "I'm ugly. I'm worthless."

What the hell is wrong with me. I'm now officially scared.

I'm not, you made me feel better when I was sad, so thank you!! Why would anyone be annoyed with you??

Rockshadow, oh my gosh!! You're so amazing though!! Your so nice and I'm pretty positive your not ugly, don't worry. :) And if ANYONE is telling you are, then they don't really know the true meaning of beauty.

IngEh...it may sound like the best way out.

Okay, I'm totally not helping, am I?

Just don't kill yourself. You haven't lived properly, you don't know the feeling of love yet and you don't know what will happen when you go to college, you havent had your graduation yet and all that crappy stuff. If you fight through this depression it will only make your stronger, more positive. People will look up to you.

I'm not forcing you not to kill yourself or anything, I just don't want you to kill yourself and die for the wrong reason.
Its your choice, but at the end of the day, there is a good consequence and a bad consequence. If you wanna kill yourself, kill yourself but there will be a concequence for it. You haven't been able to live your life to the fullest, and that's...Meh...
I dunno. Death comes with a price.
You've been given life.
Live it.
Its pretty simple. Become rebellious if you have to.
There is a reason why you are one this earth, so don't ruin it. Please.

Ive said all I can to help you get through this. Make the hardest choice and pay the good consequence. Choose the easiest way out and get the bad consequence.
All in all,
GOOD LUCK.

Well shoot. I don't care anymore. I'll try my hardest, and that's it, cause there is no damn way that this stupid depression is going to get me today, or tomorrow. I can run, but I won't hide, I can face it, and laugh, and I will laugh, the day depression makes me contemplate seriously hurting myself. I've finally broke. Thought I would also say that. Now I have a small scratch on my hand and right next to one of the veins on my wrist. I'm not stupid enough to cut a vein. It might not be serious, but if it escalates, I will laugh hysterically, and scare it away. I'm broken, not afraid anymore. I've never really been I guess. Anyway, I felt like I wanted to get this off my chest, the cutting thing, I mean.

'i dont like it when ur trying to show off your perfect knowledge of english, lauren. this is not school.'
Seriously? I was simply telling you how 'humpty dumpty' is spelt!

This may be hard to believe, but feeling that way is normal, especially around our age. Nothing is wrong with you; just do your best to push through this and it will pass, I guarantee you.

Buckle in, guise, and prepare yourself for one of Sandy's rants. ._.



I don't know if it's the insane amount of coffee I've been consuming--probably is--but I've been feeling so weird lately. I feel like it's something I should be trying to express with music or art or anything, anything but words, because it's so... god. It's so hard to describe/reach, and it's so fleeting, but it's something that's been bothering me nonetheless. It's like caught between nostalgia, frustration, confusion, apathy... huh. It's so very strange.
Here goes my best shot...
I've been overthinking things--as usual--and that leads to all sorts of strange thoughts. Plus, it's winter, and all sorts of weird things happen in my brain during winter... I'm living in the future. Which is always much better than living in the past, I mean, but it makes the things around me so difficult to understand. Most of my thoughts have to do with the fact that I'm in high school... I feel like I should be an adult by now, but my mind knows that this is not true. For the first time, I'm truly caught in the rift between childhood and adulthood--at least, my mind is. I feel like I should have a boyfriend, or a crush, or SOMETHING, but a part of me feels like I'm not ready, another part feels like I wouldn't have time for them, another part just doesn't care. I feel like I should be... I don't know. I feel like I've already broken the childish need for parents to be around, so naturally I suppose it's going to be awkward living in the same house for the next couple years. I guess I'm just anxious for my life to begin, but at the same time there are parts that I don't want to get into, like relationships and stuff... yeah.
I don't want to live on this side of life anymore--does that make sense? It's got absolutely nothing to do with suicide, that phase is long gone, thank freaking god. I want to abandon this physical world where my mind has kept control of me for so long (I am extremely pragmatic and logical by personality), dig into the ground, and keep going until I get to the other side of life, the one that's full of meaning and that euphoric bliss that you get sometimes when something amazing happens. But to do that, or even to experience that I suppose I have to find something of meaning in life, which isn't going to happen. :I So instead I'm going to sit here and let the time rush by me, WAITING for something to change. :/ When is life supposed to truly begin?

This is going to be one of those days where I don't put anything in my mouth expect for some bread at breakfast and then just coffee for the rest of the day until I go to bed... ._. I feel dead, but not in a sad way. Just dead... no emotion to the word. Dead or dying. "Lingering."

(*takes sip of coffee*)
I need a workout.
Pretty sure that's not gonna happen either.
._.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzGgX1DihPw

CHHHEEEEEEEKK ITTTT OUTTT!!! http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/album.p...recomment13194

Cut's a really good book. I've got it on my kindle.

FFFFF--What the heck happened?

Well that doesn't sound good. o__o You alright, Cass?

....Yeahhh, might just be the coffee. XDD <:^D

Either way, I'm sorry you've been feeling like that. <:^/ I can't say that I can identify with all of that, but I DO know how you feel about being caught between adulthood and childhood. ._. I've been feeling like that for years.

How about you just take it slow today? Eat more than just bread, and TRY not to drink more than two cups of coffee. <:^D

O_O AWESOME PIANO PLAYER OH MY GOSH he's like Beethoven or something. 8D

8D YAY. MISSING SCHOOL
i

Saw that one coming.
 

My parents are disconnecting from us (me and my brother).
I hesitate to put it on the internet, but really, I don't care. Everyone in the city already knows so what the heck. ._.
Ash, it's basically a repeat of what I emailed you about. My parents think that me and my brother are already off at college or something and they're going out and getting drunk out of their minds. They come home with their friends at ungodly hours in the morning, hooting and screaming and swearing about how they got chased home by the cops or some stupid crap.
My dad is okay, it's my mom that is ticking me off the most. In my mind, she has no dignity. She's addicted to her phone and texting when she's SOBER and she just can't seem to NOT send all her friends disgusting pictures and texts and whatever the hell else she's doing when she's drunk. It really makes me wonder why I bother being such a good kid, not doing stupid stuff.
Tears... no... go away... okay, it's all good.
I can see it right now. This is going to keep happening until I finally leave, and god, I wish I could bring my brother with me. My mom reminds me of Nicki Minaj (no offense to any Nicki fans on KP). At least this time they weren't screaming about divorce.
After listening to them scream and hoot and whoop for an hour, (it was 1:28 am... last time it was like 4 in the morning...) I heard my brother get out of bed and holler at them to be quiet, and that did it. I flew out of bed and screamed at them about two hundred times louder than my brother to shut the hell up, that it was one in the morning and that I didn't care what they were doing as long as they shut up about it. My mom just laughed at me, which is nothing new, I expected it. My dad said they would be quiet, but about five minutes later I had to get back up and loudly remind them it was still one in the morning when they started blasting music.
It really makes me think of the rant you posted earlier, Ash--as time goes on, I feel like I can relate more and more. There's just emptiness where love used to be. I used to feel like my entire world would come crashing down if she died/left. Key words: used to.
I have no respect for them. Just coldness.
On another note, I feel a little bit better because I haven't done anything self destructive other than losing my appetite and staying in my room for 15 hours, drawing, writing, anything.



Tsk.

o_O What in the...?

... *moment of stunned silence* No offense, but they sound like they've become irresponsible teenagers. o___o Getting drunk, coming home at ungodly hours, addicted to texting......

Oh my gosh, Cass, please don't cry! ;w; *glomps* I'm so so SO sorry you and your brother have to put up with this. Please don't let yourself slip into the mindset of being a bad kid just because they're being bad parents. Don't dink to their level. I honestly have no answer for you as to why they're doing this...I've never heard of parents just losing it like this. ._. Just try to keep and eye on your brother and let him know that you're here for him even though your parents don't seem to be. <:^/

At least you haven't done anything self-destructive, yeah... <:^D

Tell me if there's anything I can to do help you feel better about this, Sandy. I care about you a lot, you know that... >w<

I'm so sorry that this is happening to the two of you, Sandy. I can't really blame you for not respecting them as much, it's awful for them to do that to their own children.

But please don't let it affect how you are. They've made a few questionable choices recently, but you've got to remember that you can be better than them. Don't hurt yourself for this. You won't be like that, and none of it's your fault.

I had a teacher for this one-day-a-week thing that tried to convert us all to perfect little Christians like her. Catholics are evil (considering that my church is the closest church to catholic out there, I assume this means we are also evil), Muslims are all out to destroy the world, and we aren't all allowed into heaven because God's too holy to share his place with sinners.

Isn't that, like, exactly what the pharasies were yelling at Jesus for doing? Going into the homes of sinners and *gasp* talking to them? Because he should have been too holy?

Anyway, she was a pain to live with for one day a week. I'm glad I'm rid of her. And... yeah.

...

So I came here to rant about speech therapy, but there's not much to say.

She is an evil, evil, evil woman. I hate her. She asks me how many friends I have at school. I say four, randomly, although the truth is I am technically friends with like fifteen people at school. She marks four down on her little sheet. She asks me how many friends I had before I started speech therapy.

Four.

She marks that down too.

"Why do you ask?" I ask her. She says, "I just was curious."

"Are you sure that you didn't think I'd not have any friends because I talk funny?" I blurt out.

"No, of course not," she says. As usual, it sounded like she was adding a BUT in her head.

I'm sorry, Esther. I never did it (I guess my speech was okay), so I don't know any advice for that, but just get through it, maybe on days that you have it, have a "reward" waiting for you at home. I know that sounds absolutly stupid, but I did it on days that I had a class I hated, and then I felt a little better about it. *hugs and squeezes* It's gonna be fine!

Oh, don't feel bad. I had to do speech too, from preschool until second grade. My speech problem was how I got into preschool. :/ I'm still a little self conscious of my speech because I sometimes slur, but whatever. Haters gonna hate.

.___. Oh, a parent problem. ;w; That can happen, Cass. I'm so sorry about this. Parents--especially ones who are mean (I'm not pointing to ANYONE in particular here, okay?)--can be one of the meanest parent/s of all. ,_, You can feel empty, feel like there is no fairness in the world--anything.
Though, you need to remember they can still love you for who you are--
They DO love you for who you are.
Writing is a good way of experimenting stuff and, if there is an emotional scene in Vladimir's Mansion, let it out into that--see if Mitchell, Vladimir or any characters has something to say. P:
WHAT. Don't cry, Sandy, I swear that you'll be fine.
You know what? You know better than your mom to tell you that you can't go along with your bother. )':
It will...will...be okay.
I need to rant about something soon. >_>

Like Cass said, "Buckle up for the ride; it's one of my rants"... .____.




My friend came back from--my best friend--came back from surgery six weeks ago...we had the best times together through third term through to now. ;D Well, guess what?--
He ditched me with this other bloke that started at our school in Grade FOUR and now, he never hangs out with me. *_* L, you're an idiot. I hate you...and he always said that we would be friends; best friends...locked as one friend and never stopping, having fun whenever we saw each other arrive at school; entering the school gates to see each other--now, he friggin hates me and I am left with no one but some Grade 5 girls who are quite nice but I want some friends who are boys in my life, also. v_v It may sound stupid but...yeah. He just wants me and nothing will come back to reach him to say "You're a nice friend, don't worry..." but he'll say that to the other bloke he met today. ^_^ COOL. NAH, not really, dude. Suuuure, you like me...(*sorry, trying not to be sarcastic but it's not playing out very well*) Ugh.
Even if I want to try to talk to him, he'll just go... "Hey." and walk away.
I would say back to him "what the hell do you hate me".....
Ugh.


In all goodness, my crush touched my hand (weirdly) twice today. ^-^

O_O He had surgery?

My gosh...I'm so sorry, Max... D: You don't deserve to be ignored like this. You're a great friend--anyone who's pushing you away like that doesn't have a clue what he's doing. ._. I've had some friends do that to me; I know how you feel. That's just a fact of life, unfortunately. Some people just dump a friend every now and then. It's unfair, it's cruel, and it's just plain old immature.

I'm sorry, Max. >w< Just try to focus on your other friends, even though they're girls. I know it would be nice to have a guy friend. I'm sure you'll find a new friend soon, though. <:^J You're too nice not to find one.

Yeah, on his stomach or something, I dunno... <_>

Thanks, Ash. You read the stuff in white, right? :D

I HATE COMPLETE POLYNOMIAL FACTORING.
WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG OH MY GOD THERE HAS TO BE A SHORTCUT I CANNOT LIVE WITH THIS.
e_e

I feel so sorry for you. D: I think it's mean that he would just do that. But you should just ignore him like he ignored you and get along with your other friends. You're a good person, so I don't see why he would do that.

It's just best to ignore things like these. Otherwise, you'll probably end up getting angry and causing trouble. >_<

I hope I helped.

Dear teachers, I'm sorry I can't control the bus schedule. Sincerely, angry student. >_>

Dear Owen-L,

Me too, your not the only one.

Sincerely,
in this together. :)

Yup, sure did. ^_^ 'Tis cute.

Hope it goes out un-awkward and well!

Dog-gone-it. Imma not even sure, but I just wanna leap through the computer screen and give everyone a big, happy hug and a pile of candy. *just read the last 5-8 pages of this thread* GAH, I dunno- I-I just, I-
RRRRrrrr, I wanna SAY something to make you guys happier, I wanna DO something for y'all, I-I-just...
Buh...
Do you ever feel like you're helpless to help? Like a ninja turtle stuck on its back while some dude's getting mugged or whatever... That was a stupid metaphor I'm so sorry...
Meh-
I just wanna make someone happy because I can't stand it when someone's sad/depressed/upset/feelin' down...
HERE, I'll sing you a song! It's all I got, but this always makes me feel better. *sincerely hopes it helps*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTr5kIg0J54