>w< That's it; I am getting it to watch tomorrow from the shops or something. o.o

8D I love Michael Jackson songs especially Smooth Criminal which is in the FW Soundtrack!

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! :d

O.O I love the song Fire by 2NE1! *le catchy song* Don't judge that it is by girls.

...Mind if I ask why you want screenshots? XD

Well, I wanted to see how you organised your WOT things so I can re-organise FW and see what yours looks like. :D

...Oh. o_o

Well, then, I have a whole bunch of different documents open when I write/edit WOT. XD I have the general timeline outline (so I don't forget anything important or create tiny plot holes ._.), then the ORIGINAL draft (don't EVER delete your past drafts....I did that with part of the 2nd draft and I'm seriously regretting it. ;w; ), the 2nd draft, and then the newest/hopefully final draft. XD I'm VERY through.

And you don't have to reorganize how you do stuff if you don't want to, Max. O_0 If it ain't broke, don't fix it! :3

I shan't break your heart today...
Thanks. I'll go watch them, to see if I can now gather feeling. I just made myself numb from typing a background of swearwords and a parody name of something common in hot pink and blue over white and poring feelings into them... It worked...

I need a document for planning for Future Wars. :D You have a NEW NEW draft that we haven't seen? Really? :D I am an organiser, though, and I need help ordering my Future Wars things. ._. Plot holes suck; I once called an Entrance (the portal to Metallica) a "Gateway"...what the heck, Max? O_o

I do need to organise my stuff, Ash. 8D It looks like a sty.

No, it's the new draft that I've been posting lately. ^_^ First, before I joined KP, I wrote a draft of Book One. Then I joined KP and totally rewrote it. Then I took that second draft down, and now I'm re-posting the third draft! :3

Gateway makes sense, at least to me. o.0

o____o As I've told you before, WOT's original title was, "The Hidden World of Troodainia".........hidden? What? >///_///< That doesn't even make SENSE, younger-Ashley....the heck were you thinking....?

How long were all of the drafts? :D

>_< Hidden doesn't fit in right with Troodainia. :P

Gateway could make sense but I like the Entrances more. :D

:') Ash, how are the screenshots going?

I feel like shit.
And I need to stop complaining.

I hope not.

Sorry 'bout the wait. >_> I posted them on the Charbretta thread. :3

Why is everyone so sad :'(

I'm putting something in my Randomness album for you. Just a second.
I don't follow...

First draft was a little over 25,000 words. x_x 'Twas nothing but a pathetic novella.

Second draft was, like, about...73,000 words, I think.

This third draft will be well over 75,000 when I'm done. :'D Maybe up to 90,000.

The first draft of Book One for me was 20,000 words.

Second was 35,000.

Book Two is now 15,000 words; not even a quarter through! ^_^

Awesome! :D

Okay.....
10c

I replied to your comment on the pic :3 Glad you like!

To all sad/depressed/angry people out there:
 

X'D This HAS to be turned into a real cartoon. It HAS to. It would be the funniest thing ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vjRUDJoDd8

My Chinese teacher listens to people rant. According to her, some higher form students go to her and start ranting about their shitty lives.
I haven't had that feeling before, unless you count the times I was sick. I practically went the whole day without eating anything.
Do you feel weak or dizzy or anything because you don't eat much?

So, is everyone having a good time?

No… everyone needs to rant sometime. Complaining isn't really the right word for it. :/
And I think maybe you should try making yourself eat more…

Confusion, overwhelmed
 

For the longest time, I've been obsessing over small things. Mistakes, mostly (And afterwards, I'm filled with guilt), but occasionally, it's things I see. One person who despises me, my friends who look at me in disappointment.
No one really seems to realize how sensitive I am to these things. And for the longest time, I thought the only way out (to get away from my guilt, these crushing feelings) was suicide.
I tried to over-dose yesterday, but didn't get past getting the bottle out of the cabinet. Why? I was held back.
Not by my parents' love, nor my friends... but my writing.
That says something about my life, doesn't it? That I value my writing above the people I know and love... at least, I think I love them.
I just, I can't do this anymore. This feeling like I'm being crushed beneath my thoughts, and it's over the stupidest things ever: Mistakes!
And then, if I do/say one thing wrong, I'll obsess over it the entire day, thinking about how stupid I looked and what not, and it overwhelms me into just wanting to scream: "Kill me! Please!"
Honestly, I can't do this anymore. And the fact that it's such a stupid reason is affecting me so much.
I'm just so pathetic.
And I can't do anything about it.

Why are some people just pieces of crap? They need to find something else to do, like play in traffic or something.

You're not pathetic. Don't ever say or even THINK that. You are an amazing person. If writing is the thing keeping you alive, then keep writing as much as you can. Please, please never turn to suicide, or even self-harming. So many people love you. Your friends, family... And even us KidPubbers. You are not stupid either. Convince yourself of how beautiful and nice you are. Could you maybe talk to anyone about it? I know that counsellors help a lot (from family experience), or religion. Keep hold of an anchor that you know will never shift here on Earth. Fill a notebook with squares, and every day, write or draw something that expresses your emotions for that day. It will help you vent.
I'm sorry, I'm not that good with advice...
But please, please, please. Don't turn to drastic solutions. Because in the long run, it won't help. They are not solutions. Not for you, or for anyone else. Ever.

*Crappy day...:/*

You don't get it, do you? At first, I was confused. But now I'm just sad.
What are you trying to do, put me down, try to break my confidence? Well, it's starting to work, because I can already see the cracks forming. It feels horrible when the one thing that you're good at and love doing, and everyone knows you're good is suddenly swept into someone else's arms? Do you know how horrible it feels to be replaced in that one thing?

It sucks, trust me.

And it sucks even worse when it's a teacher doing this. Not a random jerk at school trying to get under your skin, but a teacher.

Of course, no one else at my school would understand, and I wouldn't expect them to either. They would say things like "well, there are other things" and stuff like that. They don't get it. This is my life. This is me.
Without writing,
I.
Am.
Nothing.

..... ._. ?

I feel like I sort of need someone to offer their opinion on the post I put like fifteen pages ago but in reality it was last night...

I feel like I'm becoming a narcissist... but I'm not. It's not narcissism... is it delusions of grandeur? I don't know... I think my mind is just playing tricks on me. Since last night I've responded to three situations that weren't actually there... I started yelling at my dog to stop following me because I saw him coming up the stairs behind me and then I took a second look and he was gone... I keep hearing my mom screaming my name and I go, "WHAAAAAT!??" and either no one answers or my brother is like, "... Why are you yelling?"
._.

Anyways, we're reading Julius Caesar, and for anyone who's read it, you'll understand: all of my friends say I have the exact same personality as Cassius, so similar that I'm like a real life female version of Cassius... lol "Cass"andra

She really ought to be fired.

Does anyone agree that they are getting depressed just by reading this vent? I cant believe what everyone is going through! It is so nice that everyone gets like, three replies from everyone with help.. (except me.. of course. Thanks Rachel!)
I seriously think I am going to stop reading this. That probably wont happen though....

I didn't respond because I didn't know what to say. I know a lot about schizophrenia (too much), but... I didn't want to give you any false information. I don't think you're having delusions of grandeur, though, because if you were you wouldn't be thinking about having delusions of grandeur. You see what I'm saying? Same with narcissism. Personality isn't really something you're aware of. If you have narcissistic personality disorder, you wouldn't be worrying about being narcissistic. It'd just be there, and it'd be you.
If you're really scared, TELL SOMEONE.
That's about all the help I can give.

I feel like that allllll the time. >w< *le somewhat regretting the part of being HSP that makes my mood change with the moods of people I'm around/care about* I tell myself I'm going to just stop coming on this thread, and sometimes it works, but...I never stay away for more than a day or two. I care too much to just leave. <:^J

O_0 What do you mean, except for you? ;w; I'm sorry...I always feel strange when trying to comfort/give advice to people on here that I don't know too well, like I'm bossing them around or something...so..... >_<

*flails* owo That wasn't supposed to make sense, okay? I know the entire story of what ACTUALLY HAPPENED, and it STILL doesn't make sense, so it's not like it matters if anyone understands what I'm babbling about.... ._.

*le was going to respond to it today, but hasn't been able to*

I agree with Emma totally, Cass. <:^J A delusion is something that's not real but your mind accepts as being real. You, however, can identify that what you're thinking isn't real, thus making it not a delusion. And narcissistic? o.0 In what way? Sandy, you're not a narcissist. <:^/ If anything, you need to work on your self-respect and view of your self-worth, not be worrying that you love yourself too much! ;w; *glomps you*

>_< Cass, I don't know how to explain those things, other than you might be...how do I put this...retreating into your own mind a bit too much. (This is just me trying to understand/identify with what you're talking about, so...don't be surprised if this doesn't make sense to you! XD XD DX DX) I don't know about you, but, when things are tense within my family, I tend to just kind of block myself off emotionally from others and start mulling over their issues. I tend to get a bit overly-philosophical and start analyzing everything. When I do that, I zone out a bit when I'm just going about my life. I swear, whenever I zone out like that, I always snap out of it when I THINK I hear someone calling for me, feel or see someone following me. But when I go to see who called my name, or who the heck is following me, I turn around and realize that no one's there. ._. I've always just thought of it as this: my brain falls asleep to the world for a moment, and then suddenly gets jolted awake by a tiny event (someone in the distance yelling something, a shadow, the reflection of something off my glasses, etc.) and blows it out of proportion from the surprise of something happening so suddenly. Or something. I don't know! >___<

Point is, Sandy, you're not having delusions of grandeur, you're not a narcissist (WHY do I always think of Barney Stinson when I think of narcissists...? XD). I've never read much of anything about Cassius, so...I can't really offer anything on that subject. <:^D But, no matter what, I'm sure things will work out for you eventually. >w< *glomps you again*

e_e ....Quartre. XD *le momentarily distracted by the non-American spelling* Sorry. x_x

Judged? 0_o No one's going to judge you for that!!!! Especially not me. <:^) *le bear hug* (And YES, there is sincerity behind that cyber hug, so don't just skip over it, okay? >w<)

I'm so SO glad that you're over your bout of depression, Cass. ^_^ Hopefully you won't regress into it again because of all this. ;w;

Like I've said before, I don't really have many explanations to what happened to you....I'm sorry I'm not much help D: .....I'm just as confused as you are. :^/ I know this is bothering you, Cass, but if you dwell on it too much, you're going to make yourself sick. Like you said, it happened a while ago. You're not in a straightjacket, you're not babbling about being abducted by aliens, and the planet is still turning, so, I think that means you're okay, right? XD *le fail attempt at lightening the mood* ._.

Just...try not to dwell on this too much, okay? >_< You'll probably find the answer to all this when you least expect it, like how I suddenly discovered my personality type. <:^J Just try to focus on your classes and your art and whatever else makes you especially happy, TRY to reduce your coffee intake (dangit, girl, the owner of Starbucks must love you O_O), and above all, just try to keep calm, okay? ^w^ I'm always here if you want to talk, you know. Remember that.

That... would be me. Every Thursday.

You know what scares me most?

It's not that I'm in speech therapy.

It's not that I sound like a three-year-old.

It's not that my speech therapist is sent straight from the devil.


It's that my parents are too embarressed to have a kid who talks funny to care that I cry myself to sleep.

;w; I'm so sorry, AA...

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly...c6nwo1_500.gif

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly...c6nwo2_500.gif

.......I'm sorry, Doctor, but your logic is flawed. ._.

I can't keep doing this. Flopping from extreme joy to extreme depression is taking a toll on me, my writing, my responsibilities, my health, and my schoolwork. It's like jumping into a tub of steaming hot water every time you start to cool down. It hurts to come back to the sadness after you've been having fun. Once you adjust back to it, it still hurts, but it's...a less noticeable hurt.

I'm tired. So, so very tired. x_x Emotionally and physically tired. I'm tired of ALL OF THIS.

Sometimes I feel like I should be happy, but I don't know if I actually am. I don't know anything about myself anymore and everyone (read: adults) who try to help are just making it worse and I'm trying to be someone I'm not or something and it's just corrupting me more and I don't even know because I can't cry anymore and I'm drained of tears and emotions but not of words.