Feeling sad because of nostalgia.

NOSTALGIA, Y U MAKE ME FEEL SAD, YET HAPPY? ;_;

I know, right? Nostalgia's such a weird feeling.
I feel like it's bad that I can relate to the emotions in so many songs from Spring Awakening. e_O

Mhm. I swear I feel like crying sometimes when I feel it, which is weird. XD
What's Spring Awakening?

FUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hate it when that happens. I had a six hour rehearsal for my show once (and I'm only on the stage for like, 45 minutes,) and I brought my laptop with me to write then it ran about of battery. 4 hours with no writing. I had a major withdrawal.

;_; I am feeling nostalgia right now.

she was one of those best friends that you could never let go of. she had too much in common with me but that was a good thing. she went to school everyday so i actually had somebody to play with. she was so nice to me. she used to have fun about youtube songs with me and she isn't now coming to the high school i am going to in one whole month so i now will be ripped apart from her, never to see her again. this freaking sucks everything--i absolutely hate how everything has to end terrible and then i feel sick so now when i see her on a picture of our whole class standing together and smiling. I SHALL--WILL--feel sadder than I have ever before because she was the best friend ever

=w= I hate it.

It's a really awesome musical whose soundtrack I'm listening to right now. Even though it's definitely inappropriate, I don't care. It's amazing.

I don't really get nostalgic because of people; it's mainly because of listening to music that's been a part of my life for ages. But also, there are about two movies that make me feel nostalgic.

I feel sorry for you, yet again. :( That's sad, and I wish there's something I could do. >.< But don't worry, things'll be alright within time. :P

I'm wondering how something that's inappropriate could be nostalgic. XD

I'm listening to a game soundtrack. X3 Almost all of its songs are nostalgic to me.

>_< It is bugging me.

Oh, no, Spring Awakening isn't nostalgic at all (thank God). It was an unrelated musing.

I get nostalgia from music too! I almost started crying during study hall because the instructor started playing a piano version of this song, which is from a movie that I used to watch every night (or close to every night) when I was little. Also, these songs are really nostalgic for me.

You'll feel better soon. Don't worry. >.<

no i won't. she was the perfect friend.

Oh. XD My mistake.

The first song is blocked in my country. *facepalm*

Those two songs... are awesome. X3

You will. You can't feel sad all your life just because of that one thing. >.<

The first song? Walking in the Air from the endearing animated movie Snowman? O_o
I KNOW! I love Renaissance SO MUCH. She has SUCH a beautiful voice. My dad used to sing Vincent to me before I went to sleep, so it's a special song.

Tell that to my friend. A girl broke up with him and he's still in a period of intense mourning.
It was over a year ago.

He really needs to get over himself.

I know. They BOTH need to get over themselves.

Then again, I'm about as insensitive as is possible.

No, you're right. He's just really fragile, so telling him that we essentially don't care and that he needs to get over it could be really hurtful, even though it shouldn't be and it's true. I don't have any friends who are blunt enough to get the job done.

I mess these things up...

Not always... People just need to realize that this is how you are, and they need to accept it. I might get a bit irritated with you (though I don't believe I have yet), but I accept it.

I do too! :Dhttp://gifsforum.com/images/gif/i%20...a7baf3-199.gif

Mum and Dad:
You keep going on about how impolite I am. Do you think I'm oblivious to your cynical insults? No, wait. It doesn't matter if its you, but if I stare at you in a very annoyed way you shout at me. You order me to GTFO of your room, but I can't even point outside the door and say, 'get out, please' very curtly.

Some day I'm going to crack and kill you.

Very sincerely, Lauren.

The day they read this will be hilarious....

Some famous guy whose name I can't recall for the moment once said something like, "In all my time here, I can sum up life in three words: it goes on."
To me, that's kind of why life absolutely sucks.
But life doesn't have to go on.
Because you can end it.
I can end it.
It doesn't take very much to kill a person. Lives are quite fragile.
But at the same time, I can't end it. Because there is guilt, but there is also cowardice.
It's selfish enough to want to end my life, but it's pathetic that I'm so afraid to hurt myself that I couldn't do it.
Someone else would have to, literally or metaphorically, pull the trigger.
I don't know why I'm talking about suicide. It's not like I'll ever get the guts to commit it.
Suicide is both cowardly and brave.
It's cowardly because you don't feel courageous enough to keep living.
But it's brave, because you put yourself in a position where the only person you want to hurt you is you, and that's stronger than almost anything.
Sometimes, yes, I wish that my life would just end. The apocalypse could've come, and I wouldn't've cared.
But my dad and many others view suicide as selfish. And it is. Because in that moment, you're really only thinking of yourself, or so they say.
I'd be thinking of everyone I ever had the opportunity to love in that moment. And before I could feel so overwhelmingly blinded by guilt and pain as I've felt before... I'd pull the trigger.
So to speak.
It's very difficult to speak out of silence. I've never really done it before, though I've made poor attempts.
Suicide would be a way, for me, to speak out of silence. For me to take that risk and put myself out there.
But it also wouldn't matter.
And I say that a lot of things won't matter, but suicide most definitely wouldn't matter--to me.
How could it? I'd be dead.
And it wouldn't be so bad to be dead. Emotionless truly, as I've described myself before in life. But in death, it really doesn't matter. In death, your life doesn't matter.
Because it's over.
And you don't care because the dead are far, far beyond caring.
It matters that you're dead to the living, but the living and the dead matter not to the dead. Nothing matters to the dead. The dead, assuming they do not travel unconsciously to some otherworldly realm, be it the kingdom of God or an island in the middle of nowhere or a fiery hell, couldn't care less.
The dead don't have an excuse.
And neither do I.

Heather, you aren't a coward because you're afraid of taking your own life. You understand how that could affect other people. Heather, you have a lot to live for, and I hope you know that. You'll be okay.

I think get what you're saying. But please don't commit suicide, Heather.
Suicide is considered the easy way out. Because they don't have to live with the consequences. But other people do. But if what happens after you die doesn't matter, then why are all these people obsessed with saving the earth? It's not going to make a big difference for centuries, according to them. Why do people bother leaving money to their children to support them when they themselves are dead? Why not just spend it all in their final days?
I guess it's because they still think it all matters. Because they care what happens when they're gone, and because they can't go out of this world with a clean conscience without knowing that they've done what they can to help people and causes they care about.
A couple of years ago, I thought about how people would react if I died. I wanted to know what would happen. I could have easily chosen just to commit suicide so that people would notice. Not because I had nothing to live for, or that I was unhappy. I want to make my mark on the world. But I decided not to, and now I know that there are better ways to make my mark. But I could have easily been a piece of news on the television.

I... yeah. Thank you.
I wasn't really planning on it.
Yes, I know what you mean.
I haven't yet met Chris Colfer. I haven't yet published a book. I haven't yet been out of the USA. I haven't done a helluva lot of things I'd like to do before I die. So I made a list.
A bucket list.
It's helping.
Now, off to eat a warm, fresh-baked cookie.

If only I had the guts to show them.
Heather, please don't commit suicide. You're right, it's both cowardly and brave, but you shouldn't focus on that. Several years later you'd might something you love, something that makes your life worthwhile. Just don't, please.

That's a great way to get out of a rut. I'll have to remember that bucket list technique.

Yeah. I wasn't really... planning on it. Just thinking about it. And what it would be like. If I did.

That sounds like a good idea. But don't make it all too easy for yourself, or you'll run out.

Atta girl. Remember that every time you're hopeless, please.

I'm not at all above guilting so I'm gonna say that the risk of someone attempting suicide increases when a loved one commits/attempts suicide.
Don't kill yourself. The world needs amazing people like you. What would Chris Colfer say, if he knew you and knew you were thinking about suicide?

I wrote this in my journal last night. salghsadlghdaglhg
It's basically just a really stupid rant about how I need a person. Yeah. You can ignore me bitching. >________________>

I watched Beauty & the Beast with my mom today, and am convinced that I'm a modernized, female version of the Beast.
It's not a perfect analogy, but it fits for the most part.
But no one turned me this way. I'm my own enchantress.
All I need is someone to love me.
No one seems to be doing a very good job of that lately.
The depression was better when [name omitted] liked me.
Because no matter how bad it got, I could always think, well, at least someone likes you like that. Even if no one else does, not even you.
I need someone to be with constantly, who will love me despite all my flaws. To them, my imperfections are wonderful.
But not even my shadow stays by my side this cold season.
It could be different.
Imagine summer life, easy and carefree. Trouble weighing you down flies off the back of your unicycle when you're racing around the icebox gymnasium.
It's not so easy buried under piles of snow in the winter.
Even if we won't get enough snow here to pile.
I am content being here, surely, but I'm not a smalltown girl who intends to stay.
My mother is under the impression that I am a more satisfied Belle, one who doesn't yearn for adventure beyond her books.
And I cannot fault her for it. It's the impression that I intend to give.
But if someone looked past the rose-colored glasses...
I want to be completely exposed and vulnerable with somebody. Because even those whom I've told this to know very little of the actual me. I need someone who is willing to embrace me for ALL of who I am, not just the side I show to them.
I need a different kind of care.
Not a domestic or friendly or concern. More like a big combination plus a hundred dashes of other kinds of care.
But I need SOMETHING. And I'm afraid, that in a state of broken shards and desperation, that I'll confide in exactly the wrong person. The one who preys on, not heals and comforts, weaknesses.
And I am so very weak.
So I must be careful, that's for sure. But romance never did thrive well in the winter--the book I'm reading (Let It Snow) and Beauty & the Beast aside.
I doubt I'll find someone new.
But the old is not appealing; it's what got me here.
So I'm stuck again.

It doesn't really matter.
I'm being stupid.
There are much more important things to worry about.


But still...
I wonder.

I'll try. :')
If Chris Colfer knew me, I'd already be dead. I'd be in heaven. :P

You said to ignore it, but that's exactly why I'm replying. Not necessarily from me, since it's a well-known fact for both us that my advice is crap. But I know firsthand that someone replying to your rant and trying to make you feel better, even if they have no clue what they're talking about, helps improve your mood at least a little.
I don't have time to reply now, and I won't for the next few days, because it's all like CHRISTMASEVECHRISTMASBIRTHDAY, but on the 27th, we're going to talk.
Stay strong, Heather.
Merry Christmas. <3