oh hai dere this isn't all depressed :D
 

I had a pretty good day but I guess I feel kind of rambly and I guess I'm kind of curious as to if anyone can relate.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9nraasXRy1qbwhii.gif

Sometimes I hate my body. Not in, like, an anorexic/lacking self-confidence way, but more of like… as a concept/on principle. Like… wtf do I have to have a body, it's too physical and it feels too awkward and not me. and… idek. I guess it's sort of too nonromantic. (hahaha.)
so yeah.

but anyways my day was pretty damn awesome.

I'm glad you had an awesome day (:
Sometimes I do...especially when I'm swimming butterfly.

Every one is so...........sad. It makes me sad DX http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...Lr88aPzoVR7clx

That is more or less how I feel all the time.

On the 27th. Okay.
Thanks. I'll try.
You too, love.
Yeah... I know that feel.

I feel like that alllll the time. ._. Especially after I do something awkward like randomly drop my fork or bang my head against the car as I get in or get my hair stuck in my headphones and all I can say is, "Wow. I'm soooo coordinated!"

Do you mean H?
Did they say that online? If they say anything worse, you can report them for cyber bullying. If you make a big enough fuss, they'll take care of it.


Same for me, Calla. The contact tab is always there.

Aw D: That's a horrible reason. They obviously can't cope with your awesomeness.
And thank you :') Same for you too.

Thank ya' :')

It doesn't feel like Christmas Eve. At all.

H and that whole group.
Nope. I made a huge fuss about the thing with C, but nothing happened.

I am arrogant and mean, according to them.
*hugs*



After I posted that last night, I had some massive emotional breakdown and was sobbing under my covers, kicking the air.

What's wrong?

No, like acting like a tiny child, then saying that you don't feel comfortable going anywhere anymore, and that you're very emotionally damaged.

Nothing, really. It just does not feel like Christmas Eve and it's bothering me.

Huh?

Oh. Same.
For me, I think it's because it hasn't been cold yet.

Eh. Basically make them think that you're going to be emotionally and psychologically damaged if they don't take action, and that you are aware of it.

Same here. It's kinda creeping me out. Like, why doesn't it feel like Christmas? Is it because there was supposed to be an Apocalypse three days ago but it got put off till tomorrow? Okay, I know that's not likely. But... I'm grasping at straws here.

WHOA.
WHAT?!?!
She's actually appearing online to me? :O
After avoiding me for, oh I don't know, a week!?!?
I don't know what to do, but I don't want to talk to her.

Okay. I'm attempting to talk to her.
HOW DOES SHE ACT SO NORMAL!?!?
OMFG. ITS SO ANNOYING.

Awesome idea. :D

Same for me, since there're exams after the holiday and I have to keep studying.

Oh damn, I forgot about those things!

Excuse me?

Controlled assessments for my GCSEs! I don't understand half of one course.

(Sorta depressing rant, beware.)

Okay, so this was a week ago. Because of my groundedness, I couldn't post this here. Anyways, the story starts in the morning when I was waiting for my teacher. In my mind, I was thinking about my recent stunt in advisor where I had embarrassed myself in front of my fellow students. And what did I do? I stood there, silent and smiling.

I was already depressed because the day before I had been grounded, and after a brief argument that ended with my body against a wall, I had stabbed my arm with a bunch of tacs. Don't worry, it wasn't at all noticable and I didn't plan on doing it again.

But back to the present. I drew six little circles on the corner of my take home folder. Every time something that I hated happened, I filled in a circle. I would give myself one day. I had no idea what would happen if I filled in all the circles. Perhaps I might've done something dangerous, if you get my drift.

Fast forward to later that day. It' s an assembly, and a one man volleyball player has just won against the whole eighth grade. Afterward, he starts talking about how you should never give up. Pretty cliche, but at the same time very sad.

Then he started a story about how a kid had shown him six bleeding cuts on his arm. The kid said that this man had made him change his mind about killing himself.

Being caught off guard, my face burned and everything went a little blurry.

The principal pointed at his watch, then pointed at the exit door. Was it because he had gone twenty minutes over? Or did he just not like what he was hearing?

The man- and I promise I am not kidding- said no. He said that this was the whole reason he came here.

Mr. Bran pointed at his watch again. The man frowned, picked up his stuff, and... left.

When I got back to class, I erased each of the circles.

This is great, Jesse. And I don't like your principal.
And you sure deserve more than six chances.

He's nice enough, but after the assembly everyone started to hate him.

Thank you.

D: What happened?

I know this is random, but...what in the world does "Zit Uqdt" mean, Jesse? o__o

I just spent several hours working on a picture. Several blissful hours filled with nothing but color and music and my book. I went that long without thinking about you; about what happened between us.

It's almost 3:30 A.M., now. Why does your memory still haunt my mind, even at this late hour? It's been eight months. Lately, when I think of you, but I feel totally apathetic. Sometimes I feel a burning anger so hot it could melt iron. But other times--times like now--all I can feel is pain and confusion...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oANhtLB43aE

Dangit, K-Pop, stop making songs that fit my life perfectly... >w<

Crap, what is happening?

Did you listen to the song? >w< Err, read the translation, whatever.

Nothing, I'm just being dramatic and stupid because it's officially Wednesday STUPID WEDNESDAY I HAVE TO RELIVE ALL THIS CRAP EVERY FREAKING WEDNESDAY. e___e

To the person I'm talking about who shall remain nameless:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MyjQRIRobM
Every. Single. Lyric. Fits. My gosh. (Except for the end...I'll NEVER feel relief... OTL)

Oh yeah, it is Wednesday--doomsday for you. X(

I'm so tempted to post the playlist of songs I've accumulated over the months that I listen to when I get all emotional and angry and sad like this...seriously, I'm two clicks away from posting the darned thing...each song fits PERFECTLY...

Seriously, ever since this stupid routine has started, I've been hyper aware of every single time Wednesday is mentioned. DX

"There's a message scrawled in blood...it says, 'See you next Wednesday.'" - Thriller by Michael Jackson (the music video)

"Wednesday morning at five o'clock, as the day begins..." - She's Leaving Home by The Beatles

And don't get me started on what runs through my mind every time someone mentions Wednesday Addams... x_x *headdesk*

Every Sunday I feel the freaking same. X_X

Oh, really? O_0 Mind if I ask why you dislike Sunday?

._. Nah, it is fine... ;w;