Mreh. It's like I'm a pendulum that swings from I'm Walking On Sunshine to Eleanor Rigby. I guess I'm fine now.

*huggles* Talk to me on Forum Game. I miss talking to you. ^_^

'Kay. :^) I'm on.

.__. I got a C on an essay, but according to my teacher it's nothing to be ashamed of. Except for the fact that my dad was born and raised in Korea and has extremely high standards. When he was growing up, people at his middle school were RANKED on how well they were academically. Apparently my dad was ranked no. 2 in the school, so you can imagine his reaction when he found out I got a C... -_-

Anytime. If you ever feel like ranting, I'm always here. ;)

For a minute, I thought it said "I'm a penguin." xD

You're not alone.

My parents have extremely high standards. It' all marks, marks, marks. And I do well in school but sometimes, it just doesn't feel like enough. I mean, as long as you try hard.

My parents are exactly like yours. I tell them I got a 97% and they'll ask what happened to the other 3%. Well, sometimes. The point is, as long as you do your best and push yourself as hard as you can, you're fine. You have to feel satisfied with yourself.

I guess I'm not one to speak because even if I get 100%, I'll still look over my work to make sure I didn't make any mistakes or if the teacher made any mistakes. I guess I'll never be satisfied with yourself. xD

Just do your best. And 99.9% of the time, doing your best results in something good. Take it from me. I've had the pressure since I was young. I've always had to be the best whether it would be sports, academics, competitions. I know I sound cheesey but... it's the truth.

I have faith in everyone. ;)

It's only this thread and the cutting thread that's depressing in my opinion.
Hopefully today, for both of us, will be better :/ /hugs.
Lucky.
You're not. Everyone has a meaning.
At least it's just a C...I got an E in listening once xD
Don't let him get you down, though. There's more to life than grades.

It doesn't mean I don't get mood swings. D:

Eh...but you're still lucky. Today I'm feeling better, though :D

You don't have to be sorry.

It doesn't mean I have don't have regrets, fears and sometimes a horrible time. Everyone's lucky. Only a few people actually realize it. :')

*hugs* It'll be better, IT WILL. I find that if you believe in God, everything gets better. And I'm not stupid. I'm just stating the truth. Ask God. Pray to Him. Believe in Him. Just once. For me. Try it. It'll help. I guarantee. God always help, Lily, He always does. That's who I turn to when I feel like poop.

stop it, i already have one person bugging me about religion i dont need two
sorry if thats rude but i already tried once it didnt work too well

You shouldn't be sorry.
It sucks that they're assholes and that you're not really family. But you know what? It's okay, and it's okay that we're your family, and you're going to be okay. *hugs*

Suit yourself. I'll stop if if you want. I'm just saying that He helps.

And you're not being rude, you're being blunt. And unfortunately for the world, not many people are. :/

:D I'm really glad to know I'm not alone.

Yes, but half of her rant is about her parents forcing her to be religious and I don't think you're helping by asking her to pray.

i have trust issues it seems
and i hate myself for it
but honestly i think i hope i'm—right i guess the best word is?
i'm so confused and lost right now
and i'd sort of been having a good day, kinda
and now i have no idea how i should feel
and ugh
can i go to sleep and wake up and today have been a dream

You most definitely aren't xD

It was only a suggestion. It's entirely her choice.

You're an amazing person, LST, you can pull through. ^_^ *hugs* You. Are. Awesome. And I forbid you to deny it. xD

/hugs
i hope you feel better soon. you shouldn't hate yourself for it.
/hands a happy

Don't hate yourself, LST... D:

And this is sort of totally unrelated, but Lily, can I have your Skype?

blinkingflare.

And I'm sick, so my dad has to bring me home Bleenie for Cheesefare. D:

don't ask. XD and I haven't even told you about the kissing thing, either.

But I'm a little sick, so my mom decided to keep me home from the Cheesefare service so I wouldn't infect everyone else. XD

Music.

I love you so much, music.

You suddenly make writing possible for me again.

How do you do that, music?


*finally feels motivated again* :'D

Thanks, Mom. You're sure helping me cope with my sh*tty day.

Not.

So I guess I'll turn up Sisters of Mercy and get into a place where you can't see me. I probably shouldn't have thought you would have helped me. I should be used to coping with my own pain by now.

But it's not enough, it's not fine if i can't do that. It's not enough to just survive.
Everyone is telling me that I'm not trying hard enough.
My parents are.
Litzy is.
E is.
all my friends are.

but i am trying. it takes a lot of effort to get up, to go to school, to pretend like i'm fine. it takes a whole lot of effort to not put the sharpener blade against my wrist. it takes a lot of effort to get out my homework and do as much as i can even though i know i'll be getting a c or a d or an f yet everyone still seems to think i don't care or that i'm not trying but i am trying. i'm trying to stay on top of math and french and english while trying not to be completely suicidal at the same time but it's hard to do pass all those classes when i can barely even fucking eat or speak to anyone.

It is fucking enough. You need to survive, that's the most important thing. Grades. Do. Not. Judge. You. As. A. Person. You are fucking awesome, and you are smart, it doesn't matter what kinds of grades you get.
They're wrong. You are trying, you're trying so hard, and you're doing good enough.

I'm so, so glad that you're trying. *hugs*
Surviving, eating, not cutting, and feeling better, they're all so much more important than grades.

What LST said. Grades are only numbers and letters. They won't matter in a few years. Surviving... well, will.

Yeah.. same with me. :D Even if I did vent, no one really answered, but I don't really care.

Pluzzle, I want you to know that we're still here for you, okay?
If you really have a serious issue,i think it would be okay to talk to us here.
Alright?

Don't even pay attention to me...
 

This is my first time posting on this... I think... I have thought about it for a while...

I don't know what to say; how to say it. You probably don't even care or want to pay attention. I don't really freaking care. Nobody pays very much attention to me anyway.
My life sucks. Well. I only have two people I really feel like is a good friend- and one of them is actually on here. The other I don't get to see very often.
My other so-called friend has gotten annoying and arrogant and know-it-all-ish and it's making me want to brag and show her I'm better, but I'm trying not to be that way. I already have too many flaws.
I will never cut or commit suicide, though. I'm kinda scared of blood and KidPub and my other friend and my parents are worth living for. My sister is only a kind-of. I should take that back, though, It's wrong. My sister's good moods are worth living for, right? I hope so.
I'm smart and I want to show it, but I don't want to be mean. People only sort-of know my name, and people really only acknowledge my level of intelligence. I have no power and nobody cares about me at school. Hopefully next year in middle school will be better.
And I'm not a perfect angel like I let my parents think. I've done so many bad things, things they don't know. They don't realize how many cuss words I hear every day; they don't know how gross and inappropriate people at school are. They don't know how close I am to start cussing; although it's my goal to never ever say a cuss. {In case anyone really cares, I'm succeeding so far.}
Life's just terrible. This rant has gotten kinda long, and, if anyone really made it this far, well, welcome to my life. It might or might not suck to you, but this is all I feel like writing.
You don't even have to reply; nobody will have made it this far or even care enough to reply.
Now let me go write a poem to vent some more.

Do you hate your life? I do. >.<

You have friends?
I don't.
You life doesn't suck.
It's something worth living.

Aww Lydia. I'm sorry that life is so hard, and I'm sorry that you've got to deal with all of this bleh. Just know that I'm here for you if you need me, and you've got my email if you need to talk to me at all.

So-called friends. A friend. That I hardly get alone.

I think I'm gonna end up crying myself to sleep again tonight. D':
You really think it's worth living?

Okay... Thanks...

I don't know why I'm getting replies.

Not as bad as me.

Isn't everybody's life like that, Lydia?
WE all hear cuss words at school,
We all aren't perfect (nobody will EVER EVER be)
WE all have some not-so-amazing friends.
There is no need to cry over this.
It's called life.
Life isn't fair.
It might as well be a game.
You have to get the upper hand.
Maybe even cheat a little, but in the long-run, your goal is to win the game of life. Okay?

I know, but my parents don't know. That was what I meant. Never mind, anyway.

1. I am not popular

2. I am boring

3. I wish someone would just listen

4. I recline behind a closed door with the humidifier on

5. I always have a thin silver ring on my right pointer finger

6. It won't be moved

7. You can move it when I'm dead

8. I highly doubt that you would want to touch me by then

9. A vein in my body popped

10. It caused an amout of blood equivalent to halfway up a size 4 ballet shoe

11. I love to sing

12. I love to dance

13. I love to act

14. I love to move around

15. When nobody is around

16. I'll sing all the songs in my mental CD shelf

17. I'm only human

18. I sometimes wish I were not

19. I wish I was special

20. I'm a liar

21. I'm funny

22. Just kidding

23. I am not

24. I will never be

25. I am humorously challenged

26. Some might say that I am socially challenged

27. I belive that I am not

28. I twirl my wrists

29. I am rather thin

30. I don't mean it.....

31. "That" way

32. I am my own person

33. I enjoy the feel of a brand-new book cover

34. My head hurts

35. I am claustrophobic

36. I would rather commit suicide

37. Than touch a spider

38. I have a bird

39. I had two pets who both died

40. Because of me

41. I cry alot

42. Even when there's nothing to be sad about

43. I don't dream

44. When I do, I dream of

45. Fear

46. Darkness

47. I have insomnia

48. I have one sibling

49. He is my brother

50. He is very much a dreamer

51. My head is in the clouds

52. Someday, I hope to see Lucy

53. I hope to see her in the sky

54. Possibly with diamonds

55. I am not referring to the song

56. I want to smile

57. Dance

58. That's it. Dance

59. This is getting personnal

60. I don't mind it

61. After all, nobody knows me

62. Not on KidPub

63. I have a pen-name

64. My pen-name is Viylet Twyle

65. It represents the girl I will never be

66. If you haven't figured it out already, I hate text talk

67. I feed on the thesaurus

68. People make fun of me

69. I'M THE GIRL WHO STILL CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME

70. I put that in caps

71. It's true

72. I still care

73. I wish I didn't

74. I have a memory board

75. It doesn't have a single picture of me on it

76. Only pictures of other people

77. I have a dream jar

78. It is by my bedside

79. I write my wishes in them

80. Will they ever come true?

81. I don't know

82. I have spelling errors

83. I wish I didn't

84. I am weak

85. I am fragile

86. I have a very sensitive side

87. I am afraid to show it

88. I wish I could hold my head high all the time

89. I dislike all the stories I have written

90. They are boring and plainative

91. I have to get shots every week

92. My arm now has a bump where I get the shots

93. I am getting older

94. I still make wishes

95. I make wishes on dandelions

96. And on shooting stars

97. I have much to wish for

98. I hold a lot of things in

99. I wish I was a strong person

100. I still care