Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 441682)

nothing.
forget about it.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441750)

Yesterday, it seemed like there were beautiful possibilities in the world (I blame DanIsNotOnFire), and now it's just… eugh. i'm tired, again.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 441489)

Oh my gosh, this came out SO LONG... o__O
But, hey, several people on here are having this same problem, so...I guess this is enough to feed all of you guys. XD

Here goes nothing.



Let me tell you something about getting the grades you want, Arin. Let me tell you a story.

I knew a girl, once, who always had a perfectionist outlook, like you and your father. But it wasn't given to her, like how your father gave you the outlook by expecting only perfection. In fact, her father was the exact opposite--he always told her, since she was in Kindergarten, "Get the grade you want to get. As long as you pass, that's enough for me." Nevertheless, she knew it would make him happier and he'd be more proud of her if she got an A+ on every test and in every subject. Besides, she felt better about herself when she got A+'s all the time. So she drove herself as hard as she could every day at school for years.

She quickly went from feeling great if she just got any kind of an A, to the point where nothing less than an A+ would do. She’d beat herself up emotionally every time she got a test back with anything less than a 97% on it. When that stress was coupled with all the kids picking on her and shunning her (for the same reasons you get picked on and more, Arin), and also the weight of several large devastating problems at home, her grades started to get pulled down against her will. She couldn't think. She couldn't focus. She was too upset and worried all the time to pay attention and give the right answers. When she started getting B's, she felt even worse about herself. Then she eventually just broke down.

Her dad told her to stop worrying about her grades so much, since it was the easiest thing to fix. So, slowly but surely, she took on a new attitude about her grades--the attitude he wanted her to have all along. If you pass, then it suffices. For a while, her grades hovered around A-’s, and A’s. She told me it killed her inside to see those grades, but she kept telling herself that it's just as good as an A+, because that means she still passes, she still knows what she needs to know, and she still gets to move on to the next grade. Then, once she got comfortable with that, and she stopped worrying about her grades all the time, something unexpected happened.

She started getting A+'s again. First they were just here and there on quizzes, but then she started getting all her major projects back. Narrative essay? A+. Book report? A+. History report? A+. Science project? A+. She even got an A+ in Math, somehow, which was the hardest subject for her. I asked her how she was suddenly getting the grades she wanted, and for a long time, she didn’t know how to answer me. Then, one day, after finals testing, she realized it was because she stopped letting worry and anxiety distract her.

You see, Arin, if you tell yourself a test doesn’t matter as long as you pass, and you believe it, it becomes easy to give the right answers. Learning and remembering becomes quicker and is less stressful.

She didn’t keep up the A+’s forever, of course. No one’s perfect. She got several A’s and a couple A-’s every now and again. But she learned to not care about that tiny sign after the letter grade.
An A is an A.
An A+ is an A.
An A- is an A.
And an A means you pass. So does a B. And so does a C.
As long as her report cards didn’t say D or F, things were perfectly fine. She never did get a C, though…because she still worked hard. She just didn’t worry. The key is not to worry, Arin.

I know it’s difficult to change your outlook. It took me a long, long time to learn from her story. I’m a perfectionist, too. And once a perfectionist, always a perfectionist. She had times when she slipped into her old thinking, and so did I. I still have those moments, actually. But it was possible for her to overcome it, it was possible for me to overcome it, and it’s possible for you, too. <:^J You just have to try.

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 441490)

Oh, and on the subject of being overly emotional...

This I can identify with you 100%. (I have many personal stories about this subject, too, but I'd rather not both bore you to death and relive my tortured years in public school. <:^D)

It's not that you're overly emotional, Arin. It may very well be that all the others just too apathetic. You can't help caring about school, because school is important. Most kids don't see it as something very important. So they don't do their homework and get bad grades and undermine their teachers. They're just hurting themselves in the long run. And then there are those who are smug with their good grades and look down on everyone else. They're self-centered. They don't care about others.

You're not pathetic, Arin. <:^J You're like most writers--you're just more aware, and you care more. I believe that's a good thing. It's dangerous, yes, because you can make yourself sick if you keep being so harsh on yourself. You can force yourself into a breakdown. But it's also a good thing, Arin! It shows that you're different. It marks you as an individual.

And, like I said in my last post, you can still be emotional without making yourself sick. You just need to learn to control your thoughts and your viewpoint. You can still care about your grades--care about passing. Care about being different than the people who bully you.

Don't you dare hate yourself. You're an amazing kid. I know you don't see yourself as one, but that's how everyone on here sees you.

Originally Posted by Arin (Post 441759)

You just made my day, Ash. This day, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and for many days to come. Thank God I decided to join this site ^_^

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 441763)

I haven't eaten more than a couple of bites in more than three days...
god, I know don't whether I'm proud of myself or disgusted.

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 441763)

I haven't eaten more than a couple of bites in more than three days...
god, I know don't whether I'm proud of myself or disgusted.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441768)

Eat, please…
You should email me or send me an ask/fanmail on Tumblr :/

Originally Posted by Arin (Post 441757)

^^^^^^^ <:^J

Originally Posted by Arin (Post 441759)

You just made my day, Ash. This day, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and for many days to come. Thank God I decided to join this site ^_^

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 441763)

I haven't eaten more than a couple of bites in more than three days...
god, I know don't whether I'm proud of myself or disgusted.

Originally Posted by GabiDi (Post 441763)

I haven't eaten more than a couple of bites in more than three days...
god, I know don't whether I'm proud of myself or disgusted.

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441890)

well
fuck fuck fuck
i…i should read this later i don't want to have a breakdown at school. right now i'd kind of just like to stay home and cry. i'm considering it, actually
i do fuck up pretty much everything i care about

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441890)

well
fuck fuck fuck
i…i should read this later i don't want to have a breakdown at school. right now i'd kind of just like to stay home and cry. i'm considering it, actually
i do fuck up pretty much everything i care about

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441891)

i'll pretend to be sick
i dunno if my mom will fall for it though
i don't care

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441900)

on a less depressed/sad/self-hating note, ironically when i went to questionably obtain an ebook, the captcha thing i had to type was 'many happy returns'
(also I had this quote open in another tab)

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441890)

well
fuck fuck fuck
i…i should read this later i don't want to have a breakdown at school. right now i'd kind of just like to stay home and cry. i'm considering it, actually
i do fuck up pretty much everything i care about

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441891)

i'll pretend to be sick
i dunno if my mom will fall for it though
i don't care

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 441900)

on a less depressed/sad/self-hating note, ironically when i went to questionably obtain an ebook, the captcha thing i had to type was 'many happy returns'
(also I had this quote open in another tab)

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 441889)

How do I become politer? Seriously, how? HOW HOW HOW.
I'm being a bitch and I know it.

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 442226)

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 442258)

my day today was pretty much

'ohmygosh haiiii, i wanted to talk to you! oh... okay... i guess bye?'
over and over and over

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 442257)

everyone belongs in something.
i feel like everyone's on their own way already. they already belong and all my closest friends have someone better than me and that i'm just second or third or fourth or fifth. i realized that today when staying after school.
ivan, i shouldn't have expected too much, has his 8th grader friends.
izzy belongs with the quizbowl team that consists of a bunch of smart assholes. oh yeah. litzy and izzy are best friends. i shouldnt be jealous or thought we were getting better, i shouldn't have told her about my problems at all because i should have known there will always be someone to replace me with
and jacob. jacob, who i was so excited to see because i finally brought fluttershy with me, is a 6th grader, so did I really expect him to hang out with me?
and even emily belongs with the quizbowl team. and even though she is not one of those members that think they know it all, she still belongs in a group outside of the school.
and did i really fucking expect anybody to need me like i need them?
am i really that fucking stupid and clingy and unrealistic?
did i really fucking expect litzy to stay with me and not replace me, and goddamit, she's drifting, we are both drifting and it fucking hurts like hell.
and even online, where i have best friends, i still feel excluded and that hurts the most because i try so fucking hard to belong here, and i guess its online where i belong the most, but i still feel excluded and it's just like wow
there is always someone better
i will be replaced or thrown away at one point.

Originally Posted by soph-soph27 (Post 442260)

lily, the gif set went for you too

just wanted you to know

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 442265)

I don't think I really belong anywhere, either. Maybe the internet. But not in real life.
I can't really number it, but you're one of my closest friends.
If someone replaces you, that's their fault, for not seeing how awesome you are. *hugs*
would talking to Litzy help at all…?
You're not excluded. You're an oldie here, and everyone realises how awesome you are, and we love you. *hugs*

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 442268)

Thanks. I don't think it would because she would probs just yell at me and say I'm getting too butthurt or unreasonable or whatever. That's what she does a lot. :/

meh. thanks *huggles*

Originally Posted by lvhamsters (Post 442134)

D: ~hugs~ ~stomps down depression~ Nonono D: You're an amazing person. You don't deserve any of this. No one does ~glomps~
I hope you feel better!

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 442166)

*glomps* *holds you* *rocks you back and forth* *okay that sounds awkward but just go with it*
If roughly thirty emails (probably more) are to be believed, and I really think they are, then you do care about me. And you have not fucked me up. On the contrary. You have made me better. If it wasn't for you, I actually might be dead now. So don't think that you fuck up everything. You really, really don't. You've made my life so much fucking better, even though some things you can't control. I know you can't just not-hate yourself. It's not that easy. But you can face the facts: you are fucking amazing. You have helped me and a shit-ton of people on this website through their hard times. You have friends and you are random and beautiful and awkwardly awesome.
*hugs again*

Originally Posted by EmmaR (Post 442281)

LST I just want to say that that GIF you sent me literally can always make me happy.

Originally Posted by EmmaR (Post 442281)

LST I just want to say that that GIF you sent me literally can always make me happy.

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 442282)

What is it of?

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 442285)

i've hardly left my room a dozen times today, the only other person i've seen is my mom (ehhh), i haven't eaten anything, and i'm over one third done with this book now
yayyy

Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth (Post 442282)

What is it of?