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my annoying sis hacked into my computer and changed the names of all my characters into names that sound like they're straight out of a little-kid tv show. she also changed their personalities so much that they didn't fit in the story, and she took out parts that she said were "inappropriate" but would only have been wrong to a four-year-old. it took me a lot of time to get my stuff back to normal. just wondering: has this ever happened to anyone else? what can i do to get her to stop it?
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She hacked your password? Change it. Save it to Google Documenrs for good measure. |
i know. i forgot to sign out and she went on my google docs and changed everything. i told her to stop and she said i'm being a huge bossy face.
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Well, you have a right to defend yourself. Try racking her stuff and tell her that she's a huge bossy face when she ticks you off. If she says it was your fault you didn't log out, say that it was her fault she didn't put them in a more secret place.
Don't take my advice. My revenges are rubbish. |
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If there's one thing I am, it's confused. How is life worth it? I wake up everyday thinking, nothing interesting is going to happen today. What's the point. And then nothing interesting happens. I just need a little action. I need something. Because it's just not worth it. I just don't get life.
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Uhmmm... :/ Well, one of my friends uploaded a quick story of their life to dA, mostly about a period of time when they felt really down. They called it depression, but in all honesty I thought it was very tame, I don't really know if I should call it that. :^I I was kind of like, "Ehh, I kind of have an interesting story too, but... ehh..." and now they think it would be a good idea for me to post it on dA.
My face when they actually think I should post it: http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.c...us_haha_no.jpg |
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You're still young. You're not even a quarter of the way through your life, and you're still limited in what you can do: there're so many more friends you'll make, so many more awesome things you'll do, so many more reasons to keep living. (The following may not really apply, but they sort of helped me.) "It's not enough / It never is / So I will go on until the end." ~ Breaking Benjamin. If life's not worth living… if you keep living, at least it'll be closer to worth living. I found thinking something along the lines of, "Eff this, if life's not worth living, I'll make mine living if only to metaphorically flip off life," helped a bit sometimes, too. (*le rebel*) (It kind of took me a while to fully realise that 'ftw' isn't at all optimisticish. :p) |
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Why, hello there, Ye Olde Trusty Venting Thread. I haven't talked to you in a while....
*le sigh* So I just don't know. Lately, I'll be doing something or thinking something and then I'll realize how b----y it is. And I'll think about how maybe it's not worth it. Life, that is. And this cold clenching feeling will squeeze my heart, and I'll be confused because I don't know if it's horror-mones and I don't know if it's me wanting attention or whatever psychology crap adults try to feed me. I was looking in a bookstore and I picked up a self-help book that actually sounded *gasp* INTERESTING, when my mom wandered over and was all, "Do you want to buy that book?" *takes a closer look at it* "You do know you're in the psychology section?" AWKWARD. It's like, yes and no. I do want to buy that book because I'm interested in what that guy might have to say about depression and such. But NO, I do NOT want to buy that book, because it's in the psychology section and sooner or later my mom's going to ask, "Do you NEED self-help?" and be all worried. And if it's nothing, if this will just blow over by next week (it's been going on for about 4 days now), then I don't want to worry her and waste her money for nothing. (Although I did get the next Heroes of Olympus book for about $20. Not the point.) I just want to see my friends again but I don't want to burden them with all this crazy s--- that I'm going through if it's really truly nothing. And I've been contemplating emailing/venting to my friends, and telling them all this, but this's just not something I want to share as a back-to-school gift. Y'know? It's just been killing me lately. I was seriously thinking about suicide. Like, why's life worth it? Life's a journey that you can change, you can change so many things about the journey, and even make it a halfway good one, but you can't change the final destination. That's always death. There's no escaping it. And maybe I don't want to die, at least, not now. I haven't even published a book and my circus hasn't gone on tour and I can't abandon my friends, people who I at least like to think need/rely on me, and I just don't know. I don't know. I don't feel nervous or excited or ANYTHING. It's that non-feeling that I was feeling before my circus show again, but it's come back strong. Much more intense. And it's not really depression, either. That little positive-encouragement voice in the back of my head is all, "Yeah, you're awesome, you know that," and I do. I mean, sorry if that sounds conceited or whatever, but I'm pretty aware that I've done some awesome things. But I've also done horrid, b----y things and they're all catching up to me at once and I can't believe how awful I am sometimes and that's what's making me want to lose control and jump for once and feel pain just to feel something other than the non-feeling. At this point I don't even know if I'm making sense or rambling or ranting or if it's just the attention-wanting thing again. Well. Sorry about that. Goodnight. |
It's called hormones, girl. You'll figure it out. :)
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HORROR-mones, as I have previously dubbed them. Yersh. Venting always makes me feel a tiddly-bit better. :3
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From your point of view anyways. |
Okay. Vent/rant time.
There are nails and a hammer in my bedroom because we were redoing my paint and stuff and I've just been hammering random nails into my dresser when I'm bored and yanking them out and there's this statuette of Jesus I got for my first communion and for some reason why I picked up a nail without thinking and started hammering into his head and then I stopped before I could make a dent but still I wasn't even thinking and I started internally freaking out and I don't know what the hell is going on with my religion right now 'cause I just feel so far away from God if there even IS and effing God and I keep un-capitalizing His name and what the heck is going on I feel like swearing all the time and I don't want to turn into my brother but I am and yet I don't want to be a goody-two-shoes and I effing don't know what to do 'cause religion is just so effed and and god sometimes I feel like absolute sh*t. There. Ignore that. Effing ignore it. 'Cause I'm effing inwardly fuming. |
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I'm sorry chica. I've done that, trust me I have. I was raised as a Christian until I started actually (/gasp) developing opinions of my own, and realized that my, ahem, Default Religion wasn't cool with my opinions... and when I tried to tell my dad, he basically decided he had failed in life. So we had it out over that, and that was a lot of tears on my part and yelling on his, and then I guess we both decided to pretend it had never happened. Apparently for him, that involves pretending I never did at all, and telling me to say grace and getting into a bunch of talks about his religion and sinners and stuff. It's not like he's a fanatic, really it's not, but he's passionate about his religion and he's just... (I posted a rant on the subject around when this all happened, then I deleted it. So I'll stop now.) Okay, the point. Religion is supposed to be something you believe in, something that you will support and it will support you. It's not all sunshine-and-rainbows but it shouldn't make you feel bad about it. Just relax. You're not going to hell or anything, trust me. You're a freaking amazing person. http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...24/869/014.jpg |
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My dad is so sweet. :D Yesterday, when I was about to get out of the car and into the bus, he said: "Alright, alright, first day of school. I'm about to send you off into the arena. But first, I have one thing to give you."
And then he opened his hand and there was a mockingjay pin. :'3 |
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Wait - but then does that mean that you will kill off the rest of your classmates to win the School Games? |
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(*bows to you*) Internet etiquette levels are off the charts right now. :> Quote:
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for some reason, I just started hating myself again. I don't know why, but most of the time, I think I'm ugly or mean or way too klutzy or just not good enough in general. And my parents just don't understand...
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Ugly, mean, and klutzy people FTW! 8D I'm more ugly, mean, and kluzty than you are, I think. My hair is stringy and my nose does this weird pointing upwards thing and my eyes are squinty and my only redeeming feature is my lips. As for mean, I'm a super bad sport when I lose games (I actually hate board games most of the time), once kicked my brother in the head, and threw a pencil at my mother. My mom says I inherit the meanishness from her. I could tell tales of what she did in her college cribbage club... Let's just say that to this day there's an official rule that says, "You may not hit other players over the head with a cribbage board". And klutzy... that's me, alright. :D |
Well, my current mood is smiling like a goon-ish.
My friend and I were playing along with the Skeleton Dance tonight 8D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h03QB...e_gdata_player I've watched it ever since I was eight and I've recited practically everything. |
Random vent start:
dfjaldskfaklsfj I really don't like my sister ^.^ Random vent over. :D |
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I've got a bunch of random cheesy stuff that no one wants to see. And I don't know where to start.
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But I shwould care :) |
XD My vents are the most stupid and random things ever. Not like yours. But here goes.
So how the hell is this supposed to work? If you won't flipping let me read Percy Jackson, which is my assigned reading for the week, I will FAIL THE CLASS. Why are you so surprised when I fail English? Okay, and then you do let me read it and give me a talk about working hard at school. And that's not the least of it! Stop trying to get involved! You may think it's nice, but you're just being annoying. If I want to go goth or something, I'll let you know. But it is none of your business if I want to wear socks under sandals. How come my father is teling me that it's dorky? And then my parents are shopping for clothes trying to make me really fashionable? MY ONLY GOAL IN FASHION IS TO BE AS STRANGE AS POSSIBLE! You can say what you like about blue being popular this year, but why should you care if I want BRIGHT ORANGE gym shorts? It's a MINIOR DECISION and we should not get into a fight about it. And no, when my dad helps me pick out bras it is not CARING, it is CREEPY. And also, since when does the music I listen to have to do with my salvation or damnation? Lady Gaga may or may not be good as a person, but I like listening to her songs. I don't listen to rap about sex, drugs, and hot babes/dudes. I listen to good music. JUST STOP IT. |
The fact that some people can be so STUPID (both on and off the Internet) just baffles me. And angers me. Sometimes I just want to punch people in their effing face and make them stop doing whatever the heck is so annoying. -_-
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I'm so sad...
I'm confused, I'm exhausted, I'm sorry, but most of all I'm just sad.
Recently my mom came out and told me that I'm not well and that I need help. When she first said it, I was shocked. She said I was sick... and for the first time ever I realized that maybe... maybe I am sick. I had lived up until this point thinking that everyone woke up like I did, that everyone had eating problems like me, that everyone saw themselves the way I see myself... She keeps on saying that she'll get me help, she's been saying that for the past year and a half and it never happens, because I can pull myself together fast enough to avoid a therapist because I'm scared and humiliated after what she's told me about them. She thinks that it's my fault, that I'm doing this to her on purpose... she thinks that I sat at the foot of my bed one night and prayed to God to make me messed up. Unlike most people, Mom, I'm not enjoying this. Some people do enjoy this but not me, and don't think for one second that I haven't tried to get out of it. I've given everything to this and now I have nothing left so what do you expect me to do? This has been going on for five years now, and I haven't changed. The worst thing though was when my friend posted a story of her "depression" on dA... it sounded like it went on for a couple of weeks and during that time she thought about suicide but didn't want to, and wouldn't have done it. And she thinks that's messed up and wanted me to share MY story. What kind of a freak am I, then? With everything that I've done to myself in the past FIVE YEARS? Everything that's gone through my head? And on top of that, I feel trapped. My mom is telling me this stuff, that she sees me "spinning around in this sea of hatred" and that I'm "at the bottom of a deep, dark hole" but I can't even trust her to tell the truth. She says stupid stuff to me to mess with me, like giving me a concerned look and saying that I'm losing too much weight and that my face is gaunt... as soon as you left the car after that, my dad turned around and told me not to let you get under my skin because what you were saying wasn't true and you were trying to convince me that I should eat more. I told you that I can't tell you anything because when you get angry, you use it against me... and you've done so since I first started telling you stuff. And when I let you know that this is WHY I don't tell you anything, you say I'm lying, and you say that I'm making it up, and you tell me that if I ever share this with someone important to me, not to make up stuff... What the actual hell? Why would you lie? What, do you lose your memory when you lose your temper? You think it's my fault I'm like this, but you're the first to say that children are a reflection of their parents. You don't lose your temper nearly as badly as you used to but what about before? I don't want to have kids because I want this cycle to end, and no matter how much you want to drag any kids I may have into this, I refuse to drag them down. I don't want to eat at all, Mom. I don't really mind because I don't want to live a long life. I don't really mind if my bones bend and break because I'm malnutritioned, because I don't really want to go on anyways. I can't treat you with respect because I don't even respect myself, I'm cold towards people because I'm scared of what will happen if I show emotion to others. I'm terrified. And I'm beyond terrified of what will happen if you take IB away from me. You're putting me back in the chicken cage and letting me peck away at myself until I die, mentally starved. Can't you see that I'm feeding off of myself? Like the snake in the Secret of Kells or whatever? I'm not sick of wishing I was never born; I'm not sick of being your failure; I'm not sick of waking up and wanting to sink away into the earth, to sink out of this body and fall away into nothing; I'm not sick of wanting to hide myself so no one has to deal with me; and I'm certainly not sick of having these voices in my head, both physical and unreal, whether they are laughing at me or screaming at me that I'm nothing, that I'll never go anywhere and that I should die for my sins. I already told you, and you've already told me that this is part of my personality; this is part of me. But you need to know that it's not my fault I'm like this. I'm not "out to get you." But I guess that's as hard for you to believe as it is for me to believe that you're not "out to get me." From your messed-up failure of a mentally ill child. Tch. |
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