|
Quote:
You're just going to have to make your sixteenth year awesome, I guess. *shrug* |
Quote:
|
My dad thinks I have a crush on Stewart-and-Russell. Which is annoying.
They are six inches shorter than I am, are identical twins (Russell's bangs are fluffed up, though, so you can tell the difference), and are two extremely likeable guys. But not that kind of likeable. |
Quote:
|
I think it's hilarious how some people can talk crap about others, but when someone says something hurtful to them, they go off on this rampage saying how much everyone hates them, blah blah blah. :rolleyes:
|
I feel so...superficial. Obsessed with my image.
I wear makeup, I do my hair, I buy pretty clothes. I always try to look my best. I feel good when I feel pretty but sometimes it's like it's not enough... there's always someone prettier than me. It might all be because Purple (code name) goes out with all those girls and they're beautiful, they are absolutely freaking beautiful and it's like, why would anybody choose me over them? No one would. No one would. It's not like I'm ugly, I know I'm not ugly. I'm okay looking. On some days I feel really pretty. My family and friends call me beautiful. But it's never ENOUGH. And then I hate myself for wearing makeup and doing my hair and stuff... A while ago, I was at someone's house. And I'd just gone swimming, so my hair was all thick and curly, and my bangs were all over, and I wasn't wearing makeup and I was just wearing basketball shorts and a tank top and I knew I didn't look good but I felt so accepted. So...good. At ease in my own body and how I looked... like I knew that these people weren't judging me. I've been trying to create that feeling ever since but I don't know HOW, and it sickens me that I have to rely on other people to feel good about my looks. Jesus... I feel like a little teenaged b**** but there you go. |
Quote:
If not, ignore this. xD |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
imlosingallmyfriends.
|
How so?
|
Quote:
...I wonder... if I'm completely alone in this feeling. Like, completely. Someone else has to feel like this, I can't be the only one. Not just on KP but at school... like they're not good enough I don't want to be alone in this. |
I don't really care about my appearance, so I can't help you there.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
/can'treallythinkofanythingelsetosay Quote:
all the time But you are good enough |
Quote:
Meh. I'm just going to start doing those cheesy self-esteem exercises. See if they work. And whaaa? No. You are most certainly good enough. /deathstare We all are, I suppose, even me if I really try to make myself believe it. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
I'll try. Oh, and the troll face in your signature seems really different and I'm not sure why. |
Quote:
It's not different. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
But let me tell you some stuff I've learned--there is always someone prettier than you. There is always someone skinnier than you. There is always someone luckier in looks than you. And it's your job to learn to accept this; and it's a crushing weight. You're not the only person who feels like this. I feel pathetic--since I became hyperaware of my weight, I've lost... (*counts*) a total of twenty pounds, and I was a LOT shorter then. Although, sure, I look better, I still wish that I had been strong enough to not want to claw myself out of my body or hack all the fat away from my face, to continue loving food and myself at the same time. But I could only choose one, and to this day I still struggle to make myself eat, even as I'm recovering from an unhealthy mindset--I "forget" meals, I'm "not hungry" in the evening... all of that. I rarely get to 1,000 calories a day and I've returned to the weight I was in early grade six. For me, the only--ONLY--thing that pulled me out of it was truth. No one would actually TELL me that I was ugly. Even if I wasn't (I'm not one to judge), it was still the one thing I need to hear to set me free from my demented, all-or-nothing perfectionist world. And no one would say it, how could I expect them to? http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/vi...2107858512399/ That was the song that was key to me getting better. Even if I still forget to eat, I no longer hate this body that I'm trapped in with every last bleeding inch of my soul. I think... maybe you should read the lyrics? I don't want to give you the link because it's a metal song and it's actually in German (I gave you the English lyrics, though) and no one on her likes metal... ^_^' (*is used to that in real life too*) In reality, no one feels good about their appearance all the time. If they do, they need to come down from their cloud because, as humans, we certainly don't look spankin' good all the time and I like to think that there are an equal amount of flaws in every person, just distributed differently. Why would he choose you? Well, that's why we were given souls. If I were a boy, I would start to realize that all the "prettiest" girls look the same, but on the inside we're all different, and seeing with your heart is the only, ONLY way to truly know a person. Looking at a pretty face, as my mom would say, don't do jack s#!t for ya. And when push comes to shove and you're growing old and frail and ugly with your husband/partner... that will be what keeps you together. Quote:
Believe it or not, I am that girl in my school. That no one would ever, ever expect to have gone through some really, really weird crap because her mind just kept pushing her further and further, telling her that nothing was ever good enough and driving her to fix it, to go deeper, to MAKE it good enough. And if you've read some of the stuff that I put on here, you probably know where that got me. ._. I feel not good enough in every way, but slowly, I've come to terms with it. I have problems. I'm not good enough. I will never be perfect. But that's okay. Not good enough is okay. <:^J |
I found "love" in a hopeless place c:
Hey guys.. (: I know I haven't been on here in literally forever, except to post random, dumb videos. And one of those videos was of me basically pouring out my heart through video to a guy I'd been in love, yes, love with for three and a half years.
But that longtime crush came to a screeching halt the other day. Precisely, last Friday, I got together with a junior at my high school. His name is Jason. He has a Mohawk. He has big brown eyes and a smile that makes me weak at the knees. It was as though once Jason and I met, all thoughts of christopher left my mind. God knows, maybe I wasn't truly in love with christopher at all. Maybe ruza was right and it was just a deep-seeded crush. Knowing that christopher and I would never get together, I was about to just accept the fact that I was going to die alone with a bunch of cats. I'm so happy, you guys.<3 and since this thread is for venting, I thought I'd pour my freshman heart out once again. XD |
Quote:
Thank you Sandy... I think my weight is the ONE thing about my appearance that I have never hated so I can't relate too much on that count. I thank you so much for your words, they've really made me feel better, but I have to argue with you on one count... you will never be perfect, nobody ever will... but I think that we're both good enough. We just need to try to accept it. |
Quote:
Yeah... I guess so. <:^J It's funny how we can accept criticism, accept insults... yet we can't accept the fact that we are good enough. Maybe these things are related? x_x It's so complicated. It's no problem. When I see someone who is going through something that I could possibly lend some advice for... it's really my pleasure to know that I've helped you, even if only a little bit. |
Quote:
Yeah... I'd actually really like to be a psychiatrist or a therapist when I grow up... It half-fascinates me and half of it just makes me really want to help... y'know? |
Quote:
But then, my desire to help totally fades and gives way to pure fascination when we start talking about more serious issues, like people who display symptoms of mental illness like psychosis and stuff. I suppose I start to "analyze" people who try to talk to me about that stuff, and I've actually had a couple people get mad at me because I was viewing them as puzzles rather than people. XD DX |
Oh my gosh, I do that too! o_o
But I always feel bad when I do, because I start asking them questions like "so why do you think you feel like that, exactly?" and start diagnosing why they do feel like that, and they're like, "can you just tell me it's all going to be okay or something?!" xD But the more extreme things...I just want to fix. And learn about. I only wish my school offered classes on it... |
Gosh, I'm worried about my friend. She's always down and depressed and it's getting worse . . . I'm trying to help her out but it's hard. Seeing her sad makes me sad. I just want her to feel better . . . .
|
Quote:
|
:'/ I'm really concerned... I have a friend who is more acquaintance-y than friend, I s'pose... (I'm not reallg clpse, but we talk and joke and stuff), and I saw her in a sleeveless shirt and... *winces*
She has these deep scar all up her shoulder and arm and asdhysvbn *shudders* She's been cutting. Deep. I want to tell someone but I don't know who to tell and it's just really sad and bothering me and... ;~; |
Quote:
Quote:
If you could get her an anonymous note asking her to stop, that would be great. I dunno. *shrug* |
Quote:
So... unless you're on best friend level with this girl, I probably wouldn't recommend getting into it--also, I'm pretty sure she won't get a choice whether she wants to refuse counselling or not. It's best to let her find her own way. :( I know, it feels bad, but... eh. |
Quote:
I agree with Sandy also. |
Sad/Mad/Irritated: So I had an original schedule, and I ended up with Mr. Lincoln (false name): the best gym teacher ever! And today I had a conference with my homeroom teacher. It turns out I have Mrs. Abraham (again, false name): the gym teacher who treats me like a two year old...
|
Quote:
Well, ask to switch back. Give reasons why. |
Quote:
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:02 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2023, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.