The Writer's Block

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)
-   Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

lvhamsters 11-03-2012 03:19 PM

Whoo ;~; Last night was a friggen hard night. It's over now. Thanks everyone for your help! My friend made it through the night and all she did was cry. Not cutting or any more thoughts of suicide. But it was scary >_< And now we still have to deal with our other friends whose status on MSN for everyoonneee to see is F****** B****** ruined my life.
No, we didn't ruin your life. You ruined ours.

11-03-2012 03:38 PM

It's almost halfway through the second nine weeks at school. This year has gone by so fast and MREH. I don't want it to end so soon but I'm looking forward to so many things. First of all, in this rant, I hate how emotional I am. I find myself thinking really mean things when people ask me to do stuff for them, and I'm getting further and further away from God. I've quit praying altogether, and it seems the only reason I go to church is because I have alot of friends there. I don't want to be that kind of person, though. :/ I want to love God again and do all the things I used to do.
My second part of the rant for today is the fact highschool is coming faster than I had expected. I'm scared me and my five best friends are going to get seperated, and I guess I just don't want that to happen. All of them are on the highschool dance team as eighth graders, and they really want me to try out next year so we can all be together. I've played soccer for the past ten years, and although I took dance lessons when I was young...that was when I was young. xD I've been working so hard trying to learn my handstand, double pirouette, backroll, etc. But I'm scared I'm not going to learn everything in time. D: No one seems to understand how badly I want- and need- to make the dance team next year. I don't know if I'll have any classes with them, and I guess I just don't want to lose them. So for those of you who dance, any advice for me?

CACrools 11-03-2012 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caleigh (Post 358446)
It's almost halfway through the second nine weeks at school. This year has gone by so fast and MREH. I don't want it to end so soon but I'm looking forward to so many things. First of all, in this rant, I hate how emotional I am. I find myself thinking really mean things when people ask me to do stuff for them, and I'm getting further and further away from God. I've quit praying altogether, and it seems the only reason I go to church is because I have alot of friends there. I don't want to be that kind of person, though. :/ I want to love God again and do all the things I used to do.
My second part of the rant for today is the fact highschool is coming faster than I had expected. I'm scared me and my five best friends are going to get seperated, and I guess I just don't want that to happen. All of them are on the highschool dance team as eighth graders, and they really want me to try out next year so we can all be together. I've played soccer for the past ten years, and although I took dance lessons when I was young...that was when I was young. xD I've been working so hard trying to learn my handstand, double pirouette, backroll, etc. But I'm scared I'm not going to learn everything in time. D: No one seems to understand how badly I want- and need- to make the dance team next year. I don't know if I'll have any classes with them, and I guess I just don't want to lose them. So for those of you who dance, any advice for me?

I'm not an "actual" dancer, seeing that I don't take lessons, but I do love to dance, so here;s my advice. Just have fun with yourself. If you can't do something, find something you like doing, and then do that. I cannot do the splits. It annoys the heck out of me, but what id do... I find other moves that amuse me (hip hopish like) and then I feel more confident in myself, and I am slowly getting better at the splits.

11-03-2012 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CACrools (Post 358569)
I'm not an "actual" dancer, seeing that I don't take lessons, but I do love to dance, so here;s my advice. Just have fun with yourself. If you can't do something, find something you like doing, and then do that. I cannot do the splits. It annoys the heck out of me, but what id do... I find other moves that amuse me (hip hopish like) and then I feel more confident in myself, and I am slowly getting better at the splits.

I've been making a lot of progress. ^.^ I've already mastered a pirouette, front roll, C jump, and I'm getting better at my splits, handstand, double piroette, and backroll. I haven't even tried to do a cartwheel, though, because I want to master my handstand first to make it easier. :D But thanks for your advice! I'm really not a bad dancer, and a month ago I performed with my friends and some other people at halftime at a football game. :D Twas much fun.

soph-soph27 11-03-2012 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 358136)
I was just at a dance. To clarify. And stuff happened. Fighting stuff. ;_;

Um. Why you no email me about horrible things? I try to protect you. How bad was it on a scale of 1-5?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMi (Post 358140)
Heather. Can I tell you something now? Something very person that just happened that just traumatized me and now I'm reaLly flipping out omfg... D':

So... you aren't okay. Email me if you ever need help even though you probably just want to talk to Heather.

Both of you: You are amazing people, and I never ever ever ever want you guys to feel the way feelings are get projected from your posts. *virtual hugs*

Ruza 11-03-2012 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwolf (Post 358296)
I tried. I really really tried. But no one likes me. I just want to be likable, but I can't.
Everyone hates me.

I sometimes feel like that. I can be arrogant, rude, loud, cruel, obnoxious, irritating, hypocritical, angry, depressed, and critical. But I can also be funny, intelligent, energetic, positive... happy.

You just have to realize that you don't suck, and can amount to great things.

HeatherB 11-03-2012 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 358400)
What do you want to do, Heather? What do you want? What is your life? Why can't you do anything? I want to do something. I want to make an impact. My life is shit. I wish I could do something. I don't know if I can do anything. I want to be famous, but not in the weird paparazzi-stalked way--I want to inspire people, I want to be amazed and be amazing. It's too much to ask. I'm already so lucky. I have a wonderful supportive family and I don't look too bad and I have a family in my friends and my circus. I don't want to ask for anymore than I have, but I want--I want things. I want less clothes and more time to think. I want less food and more hunger, hunger that will fuel me. I want a drive, I want to find something--anything, I want to make. I want to make everything and I want to make beauty. When I was eleven years old it was only a few days after my birthday when I stepped out of the shower and I felt truly clean. I was calm and at ease with myself. It was acceptance: I am a writer. But now... now I want to be more. It's never enough to be what I am now, I've got to be bigger, better. But I'm no good at working hard. I am goddamn awful at it, in fact. I procrastinate and over-analyze things that are off-topic, I can't do anything in my spare time but stalk celebrities. I look up to them because they are my goal, my dream: bigger and better and beautiful. That's what I want to be. I guess everyone wants to be that, I don't know. I want to get out of my home and see the world but at the same time I know I could never leave. I want to do something outrageously bold but I know I can't because I'm a coward. I can't step up to anything, I take no initiative, and then I pity myself. I can't do that anymore. I need to change--but I don't know how. And then I spend all my days on the computer, which of course is helpful. I used to read so much, and my parents told me to stop reading all the time. Now I do this. Addiction, whatever. But back to realizations... now it's different. I don't just want to write. I want to sing. I want to act. I want to possibly not fail at dancing, if that's even possible. I want to make, to create. I want to make my own little worlds and I want to make this one even better. I don't want to wait. I want to run somewhere. I know more than ever that I'm alone--I realized that last night--but I want to be okay with that. I want to be completely lost in a huge crowd of people, all talking and laughing and changing around me, just lost, but it's all right because every single person there is my home. Does that make sense? Do I make sense? I just want to live. I don't feel like I'm doing this right sometimes--too much want, and humans are so fragile, so, so fragile--the dance proved that, yesterday, why do people do these things? Why are they so stupid? Fights get started and all I want to know is "Why?" But no one thinks about that, no one thinks at all anymore, and so maybe I shouldn't think either. I want to run and run and swing so high I can feel the moon on my shoulders and I want to breathe and I want to live. Is that so much to ask?

Life can be an awful waste of time.
People hurt each other so much.
And people break much too easily.
I could be broken, right now.
I probably am.
At least I'm not dead.
Small consolation.

lvhamsters 11-04-2012 12:35 AM

This sums up MOST of my life. Literally, everything they say in this song applies to me. It's amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCYC9...feature=g-like

LaurenM 11-04-2012 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB (Post 358400)
What do you want to do, Heather? What do you want? What is your life? Why can't you do anything? I want to do something. I want to make an impact. My life is shit. I wish I could do something. I don't know if I can do anything. I want to be famous, but not in the weird paparazzi-stalked way--I want to inspire people, I want to be amazed and be amazing. It's too much to ask. I'm already so lucky. I have a wonderful supportive family and I don't look too bad and I have a family in my friends and my circus. I don't want to ask for anymore than I have, but I want--I want things. I want less clothes and more time to think. I want less food and more hunger, hunger that will fuel me. I want a drive, I want to find something--anything, I want to make. I want to make everything and I want to make beauty. When I was eleven years old it was only a few days after my birthday when I stepped out of the shower and I felt truly clean. I was calm and at ease with myself. It was acceptance: I am a writer. But now... now I want to be more. It's never enough to be what I am now, I've got to be bigger, better. But I'm no good at working hard. I am goddamn awful at it, in fact. I procrastinate and over-analyze things that are off-topic, I can't do anything in my spare time but stalk celebrities. I look up to them because they are my goal, my dream: bigger and better and beautiful. That's what I want to be. I guess everyone wants to be that, I don't know. I want to get out of my home and see the world but at the same time I know I could never leave. I want to do something outrageously bold but I know I can't because I'm a coward. I can't step up to anything, I take no initiative, and then I pity myself. I can't do that anymore. I need to change--but I don't know how. And then I spend all my days on the computer, which of course is helpful. I used to read so much, and my parents told me to stop reading all the time. Now I do this. Addiction, whatever. But back to realizations... now it's different. I don't just want to write. I want to sing. I want to act. I want to possibly not fail at dancing, if that's even possible. I want to make, to create. I want to make my own little worlds and I want to make this one even better. I don't want to wait. I want to run somewhere. I know more than ever that I'm alone--I realized that last night--but I want to be okay with that. I want to be completely lost in a huge crowd of people, all talking and laughing and changing around me, just lost, but it's all right because every single person there is my home. Does that make sense? Do I make sense? I just want to live. I don't feel like I'm doing this right sometimes--too much want, and humans are so fragile, so, so fragile--the dance proved that, yesterday, why do people do these things? Why are they so stupid? Fights get started and all I want to know is "Why?" But no one thinks about that, no one thinks at all anymore, and so maybe I shouldn't think either. I want to run and run and swing so high I can feel the moon on my shoulders and I want to breathe and I want to live. Is that so much to ask?

Join the club.
I'm always so scatterbrained, often forget things and am irresponsible--I realise what my mother said was true. I wonder what I can do when I grow up.
I don't want to.

shadowtide 11-04-2012 01:55 AM

So my sister told me that One Direction replaced Fun as her favorite band because she found out Nate Ruess doesn't believe in God so she doesn't like Fun anymore. And yeah, I don't care, I don't like either band, but I said it didn't make sense to dislike music just because of the musician's religious viewpoint. Then you came in the room and asked what we were talking about. You said she was right, and that what a musician believes is reflected in their music. I said if she liked the music before, the music didn't change just because she found out something about the singer. Then you asked me if I found out a singer beat his children, do I think it would be reflected in his music, and would I still like him. …what the eff? You're comparing disbelief in a deity to child abuse? That's not the same, at all. That's an insulting, illogical, bigoted comparison. I wish I could tell you that.
You know what else I wish I could tell you? I wish I could tell you that I'm an atheist. The funny thing is, I've been doubting for over a year, but I didn't stop believing completely until around two months ago. I tried to believe. I prayed. I cried, and I begged God to help me believe in Him. I wanted to believe so badly. I felt like I was a horrible person for doubting God. If a year ago I could've trusted you to listen to me instead of freaking out and judging the state of my soul, right now I would probably believe in everything Christianity teaches. If I didn't hear you sneering about how nombelievers don't believe in God only because they don't want to be responsible for their actions, or making remarks like 'non-religious doesn't mean they don't believe in anything, it means they'll believe in anything', or saying that you never know what someone who doesn't believe in God will do because they have no basis for morality, or making mean remarks about people who believe differently from you, or saying that God's existence and goodness is immediately evident to anyone who looks at the universe, I might have told you.
I hate it when we fight about something and you scream at me that Satan is leading me straight on the path to Hell. Do you have any idea at all how much it hurts when you tell me that? I hate it when you ask me if I love Jesus, because I hate lying to you. I hate receiving the Eucharist, because I don't believe that it is the body of Christ, and pretending that I believe a piece of bread is Jesus' body and saying amen to that and eating it feels like the most terrible lie ever.
Right now, I hate you mom. I hate you. I hate you almost as much as I hate myself.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:51 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.