maybe i don't fail that badly after all.
also @sravani: check ur email

in other news i'm so glad to not have feelings

(i don't remember the name of mine but) yeah from my experience you kind of have to start small and increase/decrease your dose based on how you feel. it usually doesn't start to work for a few weeks the week after i started mine i felt incredible and overall happy, but then i went downhill again because of the medicine. it caused me to have a lot of negative thoughts i hadn't really been having before and it really sucked tbh. it took some time and dose changes after that but now im at a good dose and im feeling a lot better!!! i think that if you're starting antidepressants, you also have to change your lifestyle a lot to; like, if u eat unhealthy and never go out now, then if u keep doing that when you start the antidepressant, it doesnt have an effect on u. and that's kind of what happened for me. in most cases antidepressants really work but i got caught in the small chance that they didnt lol (and theyre working for me now so it all happens for a reason right?) but good luck, i hope that whatever decision you make benefits you!!

okay bc you're not on chat i'll copypaste the onesided convo here

me: are you okay?
i'm really concerned for you
i saw your evt thing
i think there's dust in my eye omg i'm freaking out please tell me you're okay
please
Sent at 5:46 PM on Thursday

me: i'm stable enough to work now
nothing can affect me
i'm here okay
i'm here for you
please tell me you're fine
please tell me you're not going to hurt yourself
please
Sent at 5:47 PM on Thursday

me: sravani tell me you're fine or tell me you're not fine i don't care i just need to know you're still here
don't hurt yourself
i'm about to cry
just don't
please
hang in there for me
idk how to help with feelings bc i have stopped having them
but this is what i would do if i had any:
just find something that interests you and read.
and learn as much as you can about it.
because the world is such an amazing place
with so many things you don't know yet
and you have to embrace that without wallowing in shallow feelings
get up and look around okay?
there's so much about this place that you don't know and if you research and learn as much as you can
you'll feel like you have a purpose
trust me

i wish i had cool irl friends that don't piss me off and make me feel like shit haha

okay already i'm fine
writing ec essays helps

tbh antiddepressants saved my life. Like things still suck sometimes but they don't suck as much.

ok lemme explain a thing to u
u don't have to be the best. relax. i go to a shitty small town school. Theres about three hundred people. We don't have a single AP class. Over half my class was failing LA3 last year.
And guess what? They're still getting into colleges.
You will too.

im tasting so much blood rn

aRE YOU OKAY

Wut That's Not Good!!! and This Is Coming From Someone Who Is Familiar With The Taste Of Blood And It Freaks People Out

wellll you *are* the person who repoens cuts to watch them bleed...