Scared/Nervous
 

Ugghhhhh guys please help I'm going back to school tomorrow and I don't want to reenter the social hierarchy that is the public school I go to and I don't have classes with any of my friends and I don't even know my own schedule because the district posted two different ones for me and I'm so confused and it was one of my friend's birthdays and I told her I would get her a present and I'll see her at school tomorrow and I think she's expecting me to give her her present but I didn't actually get her one yet because idek and also I need to get all my school stuff tonight and it's already like 6:00 dear god I hope Staples is open 24/7 but I don't even know what to do so I'm stressed and UGHHH I HATE SCHOOL… help. :(

So one of my friends has been complaining about her school, the one I went to last year. She says she hates it and it's awful and all the people suck but I mean come on it's a great school? Like all classes are optional and all the teachers are amazing although I don't know about the one new teacher. They took us to a Bernie rally I mean cmon. And she just says she hates it and it's awful and she can't wait to leave. This was by far one of the best years (school-wise) of my life. She and one of my other friends have been there since they were two, and together they would gripe and whine about how all the new kids suck and the teachers are terrible and how they "can't wait to get out of this hellhole" and every time I would try and tell them that they should be grateful they would get angry at me and tell me I didn't understand because I was new and how they'd rather be anyplace else. They would go on and on about how it used to be so much better, and when I would tell them it was still great they'd yell about how it's terrible and the teachers suck and then they'd go somewhere without me. It just strikes me as rude and inconsiderate since they would say this sort of stuff in front of the teachers. And now she's telling me her first day was horrible because the school sucks and everyone's awful and when I asked her why she said everyone's annoying and that its just a terrible school and that she had to go. Idk but it just makes me annoyed.

because trust is all that we have.

its all i have
trust and good grades
now i have neither so i'm just left for dead.

me
i won't fail you i promise

I made you a list of Reasons Why This World Is Worth Living In:

- Google gmh for a bunch of short stories about why this world isn't all crud; https://www.google.ca/search?q=GMH&s...iw=320&bih=548
- Puppies
- Kittens
- There is such thing as a professional cuddler
- Chocolate is delicious
- Majestic sea flap flaps
- People with mental disabilities are the most innocent creatures on the face of the planet. If you ever want reassurance that this world still has some good in it, go talk to someone with Downs Syndrome. The notion of evil does not exist in their minds.
- Chrysalism, aka, that feeling when your snuggled up inside during a thunderstorm.
- There are a lot of books you haven't read yet.
- A lot of writing you haven't written yet.
- We've come pretty far as a world in the last century. Black civil rights and woman's civil rights have been soundly established, cures and preventatives of hundreds of diseases have been discovered. We no longer live in a day and age where skin color and gender determine your right to vote, and a common cold can be fatal.
- For all the evil in the world there is good fighting it. There are diseases like cancer and Aids, and there are researchers and scientists who dedicate their lives to the eradication of such diseases. There is war, and there are men and women who strive to end war. There is rape, and there are people who invent drug-detecting nailpolish and *ahem* insertable devices to prevent rape. There are soaring suicide rates, and there are kids who, despite being suicidal themselves, will stay up all damn night for the sole purpose of making sure that that one person (possibly someone they don't even know) who was threatening suicide online does. Not. Die.
Yes, we live in messed up world, and it can be overwhelming to think about it all, especially on such a large scale. So take it small, okay? If you find yourself sinking just stop and take it ten minutes at a time, five minutes even, just breathe and think up one reason why you shouldn't die in the next ten minutes. Not in a year, not overall, just the next ten minutes. Maybe because you need to have a shower? Maybe because there's this thing that you've been meaning to do for a while that needs to be done first? It's perfectly fine to have to take a day in ten-minute slots, in hour slots, in however-long-it-is slots, just so long as you make it through. And you can make it through.

It's okay, it's alright, just breathe. As far as your friend's present goes, don't worry too much. I mean, late presents are no big deal. I know because I am the master of being unprepared for birthdays and in general i've found that people don't actually care so much about when they get the present, as long as they get it. And hey, you'll make it through school, don't worry.

It's all perspective. Your friend has been there for long enough that the things you find are pretty awesome about the school are simply average for them. I can see how hearing about how awful something you think is great can be annoying, but that's just their personal perspective on it. Although they do sound like they're being super rude about it. :(

you know what, i feel the exact same way. i was scared for a bit that my best fren was self-harming, and that worry killed me until i realized all was well. you're not alone in that. and maybe that's your purpose. to save someone's life through something, somehow.

yes, stormy, there are ugly, nasty parts of this world, and ugly, nasty parts of life. but there are twice as many good, selfless, kind things in this world.
how about this little girl who wanted to give her favorite garbage man a muffin one day, only to find out it was his birthday, and the only present he received? how about the young boy that chased a car on his bike for miles when his little neighbor was abducted? how about the look on a homeless person's face when you give them a meal from mcdonald's just because? what about that "satanic band" that did their part for the toys for kids charity? what about that tattoo artist that gave a guy with an ugly "in memory of my deceased wife" tattoo a redo? i could go on all day. we can do either two things: focus on the bad and the ugly and the disgusting things in the world, or focus on the good, pure, sweet things and acts and cling to those and have hope. yeah, there are awful things that could happen, but that is a risk worth taking. tomorrow could be the best day of your life, stormy. you have no idea what can happen, and that is beautiful and terrifying at the same time. you can't be afraid all the time. you will get through all "rough spots" in your life. i know you can. there is so much to live for. there's not as much to die for.

Yeah I just think she's being kinda an asshole on it. Like today I was visiting and some little kids were talking about rules on sticks for a while and she was griping and complaining about how they were stupid and she just wanted to leave the school like I mean you're literally saying you would rather go to a school where you're not allowed to talk to your friends most of the day. Also I wish she would realize how privileged she sounds complaining about this while hanging out in a swing park with two friends who don't even go there anymore during school hours?? She says she hates her teacher but this teacher has been incredibly incredibly nice, making sure that if I have a panic attack there's a safe place for me to go to, taking me out for coffee during school when aforementioned friends were being assholes, telling me I can go to her house anytime shit is happening at home and she's griping about this teacher, in front of this teacher. At a certain point you're just being a jerk.