The Writer's Block

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)
-   Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

AlgebraAddict 05-04-2012 01:33 PM

I'm happy. Not joyful, or even cheerful. Just happy. I feel... free.

evyn 05-04-2012 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)
Yeahhh. Iím ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word Ďsuperciliousí. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesnít feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, theyíre redneckishómy mom even called us rednecks, but she mightíve been jokingóthereís the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (Iím going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesnít change her mind again.) (I really doubt Iím going to be bored, Iím probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I donít think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. Thereís three groups of Ďfriendsí I remember having, the family of my momís friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more likeÖ playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who Iím not related to about twice a week. (Itíd be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) Thereís Boy Scouts, which I donít really belong in and I donít really interact at, just listen, and then thereís the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
Iím pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of thatÖ Sometimes I donít know how to act around people, I canít make small talk, I canít really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning Iíll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when Iím an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months Iíll be 16óoh godóand Iíve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised thatÖ Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldnít. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and Iíve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, thatís why Iím on so much. I really donít get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving onÖ
Iím terrified of my memory, that Iíll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just donít care enough to make memoriesÖ And that made a lot of sense to me. I really donít care that much that I canít remember my childhood. But I really, really donít want to forget KidPub. I donít want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fastÖ It shouldnít be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldnít even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I donít know if my mom remembers Iím on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I donít know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. Iím really paranoid that sheíll ground me from KidPub. ThenÖ I donít even know. Iíd probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD IíM GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkwardÖ? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I donít have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notesÖ well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So Iím kinda considering telling her Iím gayóIím notóto see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy todayÖ
Iím feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, Iím going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

Talk to your mom, but don't bother with telling her that you're gay. I promise she wants to hear the truth from you.
I really hope you feel better soon. :)

MandM 05-04-2012 03:12 PM

Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude, but...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)
Yeahhh. Iím ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word Ďsuperciliousí. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesnít feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, theyíre redneckishómy mom even called us rednecks, but she mightíve been jokingóthereís the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (Iím going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesnít change her mind again.) (I really doubt Iím going to be bored, Iím probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I donít think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. Thereís three groups of Ďfriendsí I remember having, the family of my momís friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more likeÖ playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who Iím not related to about twice a week. (Itíd be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) Thereís Boy Scouts, which I donít really belong in and I donít really interact at, just listen, and then thereís the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
Iím pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of thatÖ Sometimes I donít know how to act around people, I canít make small talk, I canít really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning Iíll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when Iím an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months Iíll be 16óoh godóand Iíve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised thatÖ Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldnít. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and Iíve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, thatís why Iím on so much. I really donít get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving onÖ
Iím terrified of my memory, that Iíll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just donít care enough to make memoriesÖ And that made a lot of sense to me. I really donít care that much that I canít remember my childhood. But I really, really donít want to forget KidPub. I donít want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fastÖ It shouldnít be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldnít even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I donít know if my mom remembers Iím on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I donít know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. Iím really paranoid that sheíll ground me from KidPub. ThenÖ I donít even know. Iíd probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD IíM GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkwardÖ? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I donít have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notesÖ well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So Iím kinda considering telling her Iím gayóIím notóto see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy todayÖ
Iím feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, Iím going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

YOU?! The great KP legend, the I-lost-the-Gamer, the epykal-tastic LST, Forever Alone?! I refuse to believe it! I refuse! Well, put it this way, your life's whatever you make of it and it'll only end up Forever Alone if you let it. I don't truly believe you, YOU the epyk-tastical ILTGamer LST legend that I know, will be Forever Alone as an adult. Besides, lone wolves roam, so they say. I'm an isolated homeschooler me-self, so I totally know what you mean. But, take every chance and work it, you'll make friends! Problem with that is, though, that I've been getting SICK and TIRED of taking the first step in making friends, me having to be the "New Girl" every few years, ME having to sit around and watch the cliques, ME having to WAIT for someone to respond. It gets annoying, but being friendly and keeping occupied with friends/books/KP helps. Imma lone wolf, you be lone wolf, we homeschoolers are like that, right? :) And there's that smiley we hate so much. XD

AlgebraAddict 05-04-2012 03:14 PM

*raises hand*

I'm not unsocialized!

chelseki3 05-04-2012 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 283101)
Yeahhh. I’m ranting again. >.< But I would like to point out that I at least differentiated my rant from the average teenage rant by using the word ‘supercilious’. xD Meh. Why do my rants have to be so long? x_x
*Really doesn’t feel like editing/rewriting this again*

My family fits the isolated homeschoolers stereotype. We lived in the south, debatably still do, they’re redneckish—my mom even called us rednecks, but she might’ve been joking—there’s the lack of a social life thing, and my parents are a bit supercilious, especially about homeschooling.
Superciliousness: My parents have said, repeatedly, that public schools suck, homeschooling is the best schooling you can get, and that public school will bore me a ton. (I’m going to public school the coming school year. Assuming my mom doesn’t change her mind again.) (I really doubt I’m going to be bored, I’m probably going to be freaking out too much ^^) And my mom even said that talking to her/any random person would be just as helpful as talking to a therapist/psychologist. *Face palm*
Lack of a social life thing: Before we moved in late 2010, I don’t think I ever really got to, like, interact with people outside my family even once a week. There’s three groups of ‘friends’ I remember having, the family of my mom’s friend, the family of the guy my dad worked for, and one family we were neighbours with. Friends is in quotation marks because I never really knew them, they were more like… playmates. >.> That I rarely saw. Even the neighbours.
Now, I have a chance to be around people who I’m not related to about twice a week. (It’d be three times a week, but I dropped out of the homeschool group.) There’s Boy Scouts, which I don’t really belong in and I don’t really interact at, just listen, and then there’s the library thing. The library thing is epik, but most of the time I come home feeling agitated and alone.
I’m pretty sure my social skills are a fail, at least partially as a result of that… Sometimes I don’t know how to act around people, I can’t make small talk, I can’t really smile or make regular facial expressions, and I get nervous easily. Someone even said they thought I was mute or something, when they first met me last year, though they might've been exaggerating.
(Meaning I’ll probably be Forever Alone when I go to public school, and when I’m an adult, too.)
I just realised the other night that in about four months I’ll be 16—oh god—and I’ve never had someone in real life who I can say I actually really know, that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with or ever shared my feelings with, someone I could call a friend. I consider my life before I joined KidPub pretty much completely pointless.
I started crying when I realised that… Then I made myself stop, just for a minute, and when I was ready to cry again, I couldn’t. I had trouble feeling anything toward that. And I got a bit of insomnia, then, at three in the morning. But I managed to sorta cry a bit thhen fall asleep. :^I
Almost sixteen and I’ve never had a friend in real life. Forever Alone. *Head desk*
So, if any of you were wondering, that’s why I’m on so much. I really don’t get along with my family, so most of the day, most days, I just sit alone in my room. This summer is going to suck, being mostly full of that.
Going to a regular school, having friends and seeing them each day seems close to as distant and unreal as Harry Potter and Hogwarts. :^I

Moving on…
I’m terrified of my memory, that I’ll grow up and barely remember KidPub or anything I care about. Most of my life, in my memory, is blank or a blur. I even have trouble remembering this week clearly, this year. I read something that said depression can cause memory loss, because you just don’t care enough to make memories… And that made a lot of sense to me. I really don’t care that much that I can’t remember my childhood. But I really, really don’t want to forget KidPub. I don’t want it to fade. Time is also seeming to move too fast… It shouldn’t be the fifth month of 2012 already. It shouldn’t even be 2012 yet.
*Le epik transition to a different subject* I don’t know if my mom remembers I’m on KidPub. She created my account and filled out the form, but I don’t know if she remembers anymore and I hope not. I’m really paranoid that she’ll ground me from KidPub. Then… I don’t even know. I’d probably lie in my closet and cry. :^I

AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN IN FOUR MONTHS. TT_TT

How do I become, like, more social and less awkward…? Just force myself to be social, say hi to random people till I can do it halfway well? Though I don’t have many opportunities for that. :/

On some slightly happier/neutral notes… well, I forget one. But the other is my mom told me, before, that I can trust her and tell her anything. So I’m kinda considering telling her I’m gay—I’m not—to see how true that was, based on how she reacts. XP Oh, bright side: this rant was useful for 750Words.com, as I was lazy today…
I’m feeling a bit better than when I started writing this. :^I Though I feel stupid for posting two long rants a few days apart.
*Curls up in corner of Forever Aloneness*
Meh, I’m going to bed now. Over an hour after I was told I needed to be in bed, under threat of grounding. ^_^ >.<

http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

I'm going to be attending high school in four months. P_P I'm going to be Forever Alone as well.
You're amazing LST, I'm sure you'll make some friends AS. SOON. AS. YOU. STEP. INTO. THAT. PUBLIC. SCHOOL. BUILDING.

*reads back my post* *facepalm*

AlgebraAddict 05-04-2012 03:19 PM

I'm looking forward to a private middle school. It should cure this weird urge I have sometimes to kick butt in an epic win over people I dislike. 8D

chelseki3 05-04-2012 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 283154)
I'm happy. Not joyful, or even cheerful. Just happy. I feel... free.

*Is glad you're feeling that way* I'm estatic you're alive. XD

AlgebraAddict 05-04-2012 03:23 PM

I'm just like the ^_^ lolcat. :D

http://ejyoung.com/wp-content/upload...ppy_lolcat.jpg

chelseki3 05-04-2012 03:25 PM

*wipes tear from eye* That cat is adorable!! ^_^ *glomps cat* :D

AlgebraAddict 05-04-2012 03:26 PM

This one is cuter.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Is8bkErrqa...cat_pirate.jpg


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