The Writer's Block

The Writer's Block (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/index.php)
-   Free advice (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/forumdisplay.php?f=8)
-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

maxi 01-05-2013 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399725)
like who??

They just seem like they are the bosses of KidPub but I am not saying any names--some newbies consider them "amazing" because they are new and expect to instantly gain friends when they need to start writing first other than just have friends at first. It just annoys me like they want everything their way; they want everything to be as their own and it is fricking frapping annoying.

Lily09 01-05-2013 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 399729)
They just seem like they are the bosses of KidPub but I am not saying any names--some newbies consider them "amazing" because they are new and expect to instantly gain friends when they need to start writing first other than just have friends at first. It just annoys me like they want everything their way; they want everything to be as their own and it is fricking frapping annoying.

OKAY THANK YOU FOR POINTING THIS OUT?!
We all had that newbie stage, me, you, everyone. But it seems like the only thing newcomers on KP want are compliments. Not all, but a lot. A lot of them seem to praise their work highly and think that there is no room for improvement at all, when in fact, YES THERE IS! It really annoys me and it's the reason why I rarely ever read anything on the main page. I'll read the stuff that I KNOW are from good writers, but I'm a lot more cautious on reading newbies' stuff because sometimes, to be honest, it is just awful. I'm not saying that that's a problem, because it can be improved with CC, but when I look in the comments and there's a fight going on because the newcomer is fighting with another because apparently, their work is "amazing". Uh, no. Also when people give out CC and are called "mean". No, they have to understand the difference between criticism and constructive criticism. It bothers me because it seems like a lot of newcomers are really ignorant and think their writing is amazing and reject CC, when there are writers on KP who have to beg and promote their stories for CC.
Not all newcomers, but a lot.

Rant over.

maxi 01-05-2013 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 399741)
OKAY THANK YOU FOR POINTING THIS OUT?!
We all had that newbie stage, me, you, everyone. But it seems like the only thing newcomers on KP are compliments. Not all, but a lot. A lot of them seem to praise their work highly and think that there is no room for improvement at all, when in fact, YES THERE IS! It really annoys me and it's the reason why I rarely ever read anything on the main page. I'll read the stuff that I KNOW are from good writers, but I'm a lot more cautious on reading newbies' stuff because sometimes, to be honest, it is just awful. I'm not saying that that's a problem, because it can be improved with CC, but when I look in the comments and there's a fight going on because the newcomer is fighting with another because apparently, their work is "amazing". Uh, no. Also when people give out CC and are called "mean". No, they have to understand the difference between criticism and constructive criticism. It bothers me because it seems like a lot of newcomers are really ignorant and think their writing is amazing and reject CC, when there are writers on KP who have to beg and promote their stories for CC.
Not all newcomers, but a lot.

Rant over.

To me, all I want in my book series, is for it to be layed out nice with plotting and planning and I only want people to read it because of CC. CC is highly appreciated when it comes to writing for me and it always used to be. I've always wanted my book to be a good novel and didn't expect anybody to enjoy it or accept it as a good novel but, anywho, they enjoyed it. Great but I still am not completely satisified with my work even if they say "Don't change it; your work is amazing!" I still want to change it because I am the author of it and should be able to change anything of my work because I can if I want to. What you said about them thinking that CC is "mean" and "I don't really need it because I love my bad spelling." That is really and honestly true. They all seriously think that 200 words for a chapter is incredibly long when actually it's...plain boring. They think that a prologue for 50 words is just amazing - yep sure. They don't want CC because they want popularity and if they keep wanting that, their book's popularity (well, that doesn't matter) and quality isn't going to work very well in the future because their work won't be the best. Yes, to be honest, some of the newbie's work are awful. Judging from many good newbies such as Ash and Leloo and even Kendra, they were all frapping amazing but now the newbies that come on - their work is just...bad. I don't like it - not at all.
Ramble.
Sorry.

Lily09 01-05-2013 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 399745)
To me, all I want in my book series, is for it to be layed out nice with plotting and planning and I only want people to read it because of CC. CC is highly appreciated when it comes to writing for me and it always used to be. I've always wanted my book to be a good novel and didn't expect anybody to enjoy it or accept it as a good novel but, anywho, they enjoyed it. Great but I still am not completely satisified with my work even if they say "Don't change it; your work is amazing!" I still want to change it because I am the author of it and should be able to change anything of my work because I can if I want to. What you said about them thinking that CC is "mean" and "I don't really need it because I love my bad spelling." That is really and honestly true. They all seriously think that 200 words for a chapter is incredibly long when actually it's...plain boring. They think that a prologue for 50 words is just amazing - yep sure. They don't want CC because they want popularity and if they keep wanting that, their book's popularity (well, that doesn't matter) and quality isn't going to work very well in the future because their work won't be the best. Yes, to be honest, some of the newbie's work are awful. Judging from many good newbies such as Ash and Leloo and even Kendra, they were all frapping amazing but now the newbies that come on - their work is just...bad. I don't like it - not at all.
Ramble.
Sorry.

Yeah, I completely get it.

maxi 01-05-2013 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 399748)
Yeah, I completely get it.

DX Thanks. Sometimes - sometimes, I hate when newbies act stupidly.

maxi 01-05-2013 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399778)
I wrote a prologue today, just on my ipad. 804 words... Short DX

Was I a bad newbie?

I am not saying anyone was bad - i am not pointing any names but some people just don't consider taking their writing to a different stage - to consider what there else there could be.

maxi 01-05-2013 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399779)
iuhseihofdsnofds

._. but there are good writers

Yes, but we are just ranting about the "bad" ones or the ones that need more help but don't care about CC.

rebecca 01-05-2013 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399778)
I wrote a prologue today, just on my ipad. 804 words... Short DX

Was I a bad newbie?

I have no idea. I never saw you as a newbie. I was a stupid newbie. I clogged, I spazzed out all over WB and I was an absolute moron.

rebecca 01-05-2013 05:53 AM

Oh Lord, past Rebecca. It was not until I changed my main page name to Tygress that I was even halfway to awesome.

rebecca 01-05-2013 05:55 AM

YOU HAS FOOD! What kind?!

maxi 01-05-2013 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399812)
Yes.. But was I? Answer, if you will. I won't be offended.


It almost sounded like you were saying everyone was bad.

No - I believe you were one of the best newbies. The ones of the generations that we scream about when you log on to post something. I read what you posted - I loved it. You are an awesome writer and you must finish this novel. There is a reason for starting something - to finish it. :) Acheive that.

rebecca 01-05-2013 06:00 AM

My reason for starting things is so my head stops rattling with all the ideas clogged up in it. I am the person who creates at least one civilisation a week. I have never finished anything, because something new always crops up.

maxi 01-05-2013 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399826)
:') made me day! Thanks, you're a great writer too.

Now get on that iPad or laptop and type up a large Chapter One for me. :D

maxi 01-05-2013 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399830)
:D in the morning, I'm high, HIGH ON ICE CREAM:D

Okay - sounds good. 0_0
I shall give CC.

LaurenM 01-05-2013 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399494)
no offence to anyone

but I find elf kind of moronic

again just my opinion ._.

What elf?
Quote:

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict (Post 399575)
I hate all of you.

I'll be crying in my room if anybody needs me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399593)
why is everything always my fault I mean what the f*** did I do seriously

losing my best friend to a girl I hate. Oh well, she won't be able to deal with me soon enough

Esther+Pluzzle: what happened?
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bex (Post 399606)
f****ng hell
My stupid computer just had to run out of charge and delete a drawing I'd been working on for hours! I was actually proud of the goddamn drawing. It was good. And my dumb computer just had to go and delete it.
Grrrrrrrr

That's bad. I once had to rewrite something thrice because it was typed out in the KP text box and I accidentally backspaced when my mouse had clicked outside the textbox.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephiey (Post 399667)
Dear Mom and Dad:

Shut up. Just... please. I can't take it any more. I can't take you anymore.

You guys are such selfish jerks. Dad, you're nice, but you hate me writing, even though it's my love.

Me: Hey dad! I passed the 50,000 word mark!
You: You spend too much time writing. Go practice jazz piano.

Me: *writing*
You: Stop writing.
Me: But I like it.
You: Well, you have to think about it... who's actually going to read it.

Well... not you, apparently! All you ever care about is me being your little jazz piano puppet daughter who achieves all your dreams because you're not good enough to do that.

Mom, you're just... mean. You told Justin that you love him more than me. I heard. And you always complain and beat down my writing even though you haven't even read it. Stop pretending like you know what's good writing and what's not when you can't even use your pronouns correctly because you can't freaking speak English!

Sadly,

Your daughter.

*rant over*

My parents've always let me follow my dreams...so I can't relate. They shouldn't try and live your life for themselves. Your life is yours.
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399778)
I wrote a prologue today, just on my ipad. 804 words... Short DX

Was I a bad newbie?

I didn't really know you, only recognised your name, so I can't judge.
I know for a fact that I wasn't a good newbie.
Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 399810)
I was all happy and stuff, and I wrote everyday, trying to please people. I didn't get into WB until the first prom, and now WB is basically the only thing I do on Kidpub now. I would take CC but never put it into effect. I just wanted people to like me. -.- I mean... Really, past Pluzzle? Really?

Yeah, sometimes I get irked with the CC even though I appreciate it, but nevertheless, I decide to read all my comments for CC suggestions when I edit my story.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 399813)
Oh Lord, past Rebecca. It was not until I changed my main page name to Tygress that I was even halfway to awesome.

I don't quite remember when you were Rebecca on the main site.

rebecca 01-05-2013 08:49 AM

Elf as in the stupid film I cannot watch because I hate cringe films...

I changed to Tygress a few months in... I think it was after I finished Ocean Song that my IQ started to redevelop.

And Lauren, you were a good newbie. You were invisible. I only noticed you after Maasai...remembering the awkwardness of communicating at first is hilarious.

LaurenM 01-05-2013 09:02 AM

Well, at least four months, because I saw a 'Rebecca' once or twice with the username of rebecca. I forgot how you acted then.
I wrote a really fail story from the perspective of a penguin which was less than 10,000 words long...
My grammar in MAASAI was terrible...

rebecca 01-05-2013 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 399894)
Well, at least four months, because I saw a 'Rebecca' once or twice with the username of rebecca. I forgot how you acted then.
I wrote a really fail story from the perspective of a penguin which was less than 10,000 words long...
My grammar in MAASAI was terrible...

Thank goodness my major idiosyncrasies were still evolving.
Anyway!!!
I was very proud of this...
http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/20...es-d5qhswm.png

LaurenM 01-05-2013 09:27 AM

That clears things up, because I was wondering why you didn't point out my grammar mistakes.

LaurenM 01-05-2013 09:28 AM

And you should make 'the cynic's book reviews' a bit more significant, because they look like a label beside all the other ones. Nince labels, by the way.

Stephiey 01-05-2013 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxi (Post 399671)
)': A tear came out of my eye when I read the last sentence. It just had to come out; you are a writer and supposed to get to that 50,000 word mark even if they don't care. :') I bet you that anytime soon they are going to be jealous that you would've finish a novel; that you would've got past everthing in writing; that you would've been published.
Me: *writing*
You: Stop writing.
Me: But I like it.
You: Well, you have to think about it... who's actually going to read it.
I am going to read it. :^D I am going to love and give CC and adore everything you write. You write because it is your love and the reason to get you through everything, the reason to break out of family jail and write...for fun and for seriousness. Your dad and your mum need to know that writing is a thing that us KidPubbers enjoy. Heck, you are on here to write. ^_^
I love your writing, Stephanie.
All of us do.

Wow. Just wow. Thank you maxi. Thank you so much. You just literally made my day a whole lot better. *hugs*

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 399888)

My parents've always let me follow my dreams...so I can't relate. They shouldn't try and live your life for themselves. Your life is yours.

Yeah, I try telling them that. They always think that they know better. Which, they might... but I seriously love writing and they don't understand that. :/ But thanks! XD

rebecca 01-05-2013 04:52 PM

I hate Elf. I have to leave the room at cringe moments, in anything, including the Big Bang Theory which I love, so I spend the entire film in my room.

rebecca 01-05-2013 05:01 PM

I couldn't watch the first Tinkerbell film with my sister because I kept cringing.

01-05-2013 06:51 PM

I love Elf. ^_^ Will Ferrell is an amazing actor, and although that may not be his best film, I love it. I don't really know why, but it makes me laugh when I need to be cheered up.

TheAshWolf 01-05-2013 09:27 PM

x___x

Had a breakdown last night. Didn't go to sleep until midnight.

Woke up at 2 P.M. this morning. Felt alright. But now I can't seem to see straight for some reason, my head hurts, and I just feel like I'm in a fog.

*sips my hot green tea* ...

Yeah. I dunno what's up with me today. I may have died and regenerated again *le semi-serious Doctor Who reference*, but I'm still not sure. All I know is that I feel blah. ._.

CACrools 01-05-2013 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 400236)
x___x

Had a breakdown last night. Didn't go to sleep until midnight.

Woke up at 2 P.M. this morning. Felt alright. But now I can't seem to see straight for some reason, my head hurts, and I just feel like I'm in a fog.

*sips my hot green tea* ...

Yeah. I dunno what's up with me today. I may have died and regenerated again *le semi-serious Doctor Who reference*, but I'm still not sure. All I know is that I feel blah. ._.

At least you're feeling better. I think you're just tired... Go to bed earlier than normal tonight, and try to sleep in. You should feel better than today.

Sandy 01-05-2013 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 400236)
x___x

Had a breakdown last night. Didn't go to sleep until midnight.

Woke up at 2 P.M. this morning. Felt alright. But now I can't seem to see straight for some reason, my head hurts, and I just feel like I'm in a fog.

*sips my hot green tea* ...

Yeah. I dunno what's up with me today. I may have died and regenerated again *le semi-serious Doctor Who reference*, but I'm still not sure. All I know is that I feel blah. ._.

I really want to respond to your vents but I'm scared something will happen like last time. DX *quickly runs away*

TheAshWolf 01-05-2013 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 400256)
I really want to respond to your vents but I'm scared something will happen like last time. DX *quickly runs away*

No, no no, don't worry, come back! ;w; *scrambles after you*

Heh, yeah...I.....I honestly don't have the slightest idea what the heck happened to me last time. :| *sips tea awkwardly* .... I think I just got an overdose of stress plus an overdose of teen hormones all at once, and everything just went haywire? I don't know. DX

OTL ...I am SO SORRY I put you and everyone else through all that, Sandy. I really really am. And I'm embarrassed to no end that you saw me like that--all overly-emotional and just being ridiculous. I'm sorry. I may not be much better, now, but I AM more sane and...together....so...yeahhhhh... <:^D Heh-heh.

I'll get out of your hair now. x_x
*crawls under a rock*

TheAshWolf 01-05-2013 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CACrools (Post 400250)
At least you're feeling better. I think you're just tired... Go to bed earlier than normal tonight, and try to sleep in. You should feel better than today.

Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks, CAC. <:^J

CACrools 01-05-2013 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 400270)
Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks, CAC. <:^J

Welcome. I don't like when my friends don't feel good, I have to make them feel better, or at least try. *hugs*

Sandy 01-05-2013 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 399797)
I have no idea. I never saw you as a newbie. I was a stupid newbie. I clogged, I spazzed out all over WB and I was an absolute moron.

I was a really stupid newbie, oh my god. Still am. XD I think he only thing that saved me was that I had nothing to clog about and I kind of clung to LST and Chiaki, who were cool. XD XD Heheh, McEvil... I confined my spam to the polls section and my comments were full of spazzy run on sentences. ._.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 399897)
Thank goodness my major idiosyncrasies were still evolving.
Anyway!!!
I was very proud of this...
http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/20...es-d5qhswm.png

That makes me want a review sooo badly. XD I need someone to beat down my writing so I can build it up again but better, and no one will do it. XD DX


Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 400268)
No, no no, don't worry, come back! ;w; *scrambles after you*

Heh, yeah...I.....I honestly don't have the slightest idea what the heck happened to me last time. :| *sips tea awkwardly* .... I think I just got an overdose of stress plus an overdose of teen hormones all at once, and everything just went haywire? I don't know. DX

OTL ...I am SO SORRY I put you and everyone else through all that, Sandy. I really really am. And I'm embarrassed to no end that you saw me like that--all overly-emotional and just being ridiculous. I'm sorry. I may not be much better, now, but I AM more sane and...together....so...yeahhhhh... <:^D Heh-heh.

I'll get out of your hair now. x_x
*crawls under a rock*

Don't feel bad! I'm scared I'LL say something and hen something will happen and gosh, I don't know. x_x Don't feel bad about anything. I totally understand.
Well, okay, here goes--I'm sorry you're not doing too well... (*hugs cyberly*) I don't know if this has to do with the same thing, but you said you just had to wait until January 9th before, right? Just hang in there. X_x
If it makes you feel better, you're not alone. I've literally been living in my room for the past few weeks because I just refuse to go downstairs anymore, I associate seeing my family with such horrible feelings. They talk to me with his icy coldness, which I respond to with nothingness. After seeing anyone, even my brother, it takes a good hour or so of being alone in my room for the iciness to wear off (which it has, at this point). I jump at every sound, I'm scared of my dad, my relationship with food is going haywire again, and I'm STILL hearing things, and I realized just last night that I've been displaying this other weird symptom--For the entire break, every time I lay down to go to sleep I feel like I'm dying. Like, I'll just take a breath, check how my stomach feels, and be like, "Yup, I'm dying. No biggie," as a serious thought, and I just realized the other day that it's a symptom of some weird thing or other. Ugh... I need more coffee...
e_e

LaurenM 01-05-2013 10:12 PM

By the way, I have some serious homework trouble. There's this Chinese History book report but I've NEVER read any books of Chinese History and I'm already late and I have to hand it in on Monday. I can't go to the library because I wouldn't be able to finish that book and anyway I'm scared of telling my mum because she'd throw a fit and because of my pugnacious nature, we'd end up having a fight.

I vaguely know about a period of history and I thought I could go online and search for it but it occurred to me--what if it never happened in this book? When I searched for the book's name, it didn't tell me what events were in there either.

This book report is 10% of the Chinese History grade and now I've already lost two marks and if I don't hand it in, 10% of my Chinese History grade would be gone and I need it, because I'm not exactly good in Chinese History.

HELP.

TheAshWolf 01-05-2013 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 400297)
Don't feel bad! I'm scared I'LL say something and hen something will happen and gosh, I don't know. x_x Don't feel bad about anything. I totally understand.
Well, okay, here goes--I'm sorry you're not doing too well... (*hugs cyberly*) I don't know if this has to do with the same thing, but you said you just had to wait until January 9th before, right? Just hang in there. X_x
If it makes you feel better, you're not alone. I've literally been living in my room for the past few weeks because I just refuse to go downstairs anymore, I associate seeing my family with such horrible feelings. They talk to me with his icy coldness, which I respond to with nothingness. After seeing anyone, even my brother, it takes a good hour or so of being alone in my room for the iciness to wear off (which it has, at this point). I jump at every sound, I'm scared of my dad, my relationship with food is going haywire again, and I'm STILL hearing things, and I realized just last night that I've been displaying this other weird symptom--For the entire break, every time I lay down to go to sleep I feel like I'm dying. Like, I'll just take a breath, check how my stomach feels, and be like, "Yup, I'm dying. No biggie," as a serious thought, and I just realized the other day that it's a symptom of some weird thing or other. Ugh... I need more coffee...
e_e

....I love how you wrapped up all that by saying you need more coffee. X'D

Thanks, Cass...that makes me feel a bit better about what happened. You don't ever have to worry about what you say and how it'll effect me, okay? <:^J I really do value your opinion, and your advice has really helped me in the past.

*cyber hugs back* You do know that you're one of my best friends on here, right?

January 9th is when this situation will all go downhill and can start to get wrapped up. However, I just learned that it won't REALLY be over until April (1 year anniversary of the madness....yayyyyy....*le sarcasm* *dies at the thought*). Plus I seem to be hungering for revenge more and more, which scares me, since I've never been a vengeful person or ever believed that revenge is right. x_x I dunno. I'm just struggling with trying to figure out what to do next. How to move forward again. How to recover. How to move on. Because, honestly, I feel like I just want to dig a hole, bury myself, and just not talk to anyone ever again. That or just curl up in bed and go to sleep and just stay like that for eternity, only getting up to eat and/or listen to music.

Meh. I guess I'm just sick of this situation. I know that if I get my feelings out, I can move on, but I don't know how to do that. *headdesks*

But enough about me. I'll get through this, eventually. I just need to heal for a while. <:^J Then I'll be back to normal--posting every week, writing a lot, rambling on A/N, just being myself again.

I know exactly what you mean. My family's at the center of this madness, and I can't seem to talk to any of them anymore. You're still hearing things? O_o Like what? D: I'm sorry things between you and your dad aren't good...mind if I ask why you're afraid? (You don't have to answer that, especially not on here; you can always drop me a note. Just curious.) And if it makes you feel any better, I went through a whole six months feeling like that. O___o I'd lay down, trying to get to sleep, and then feel this creepy sensation in my gut and just suddenly get the notion that I'm dying. I'd always sit up, freak out a little, then try to actually go to sleep. But it always took several times for me to actually fall asleep without suddenly thinking, "Wait a second...yup, I'm dying, maybe I should get up!"

Lily09 01-05-2013 10:16 PM

Oh heyyyy, A World So Cold by Three Days Grace!

I don't know if I can f*cking handle this. I wish I was so worry free like my friends. I have to worry about cutting, my weight(i don't even f*cking know anymore, okay), how i look, my self esteem, keeping up with my grades, everything. It seems like everyone else is handling it so well and I just feel like a burden to my friends. It's why I never tell them anything because they are such happy people that I feel like I'd be ruining their happiness. Everyone else seems to be fine, and then there's me, I'm just lagging behind and no one even f*cking cares. I want to scream, "IM F*CKING HERE AND I FEEL LIKE F*CKING SHIT!" because it's pretty obvious as it is? Don't they notice how I rarely do my work? How I'm too busy thinking about music? How I'm cutting off all my ties? How I rarely talk? How I throw away my lunch? I sometimes feel like people don't care. My friends talk to me, but they never care to step back and look at how I really feel.

LaurenM 01-05-2013 10:53 PM

Help...dying here...what can I do...?

CACrools 01-05-2013 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 400303)
By the way, I have some serious homework trouble. There's this Chinese History book report but I've NEVER read any books of Chinese History and I'm already late and I have to hand it in on Monday. I can't go to the library because I wouldn't be able to finish that book and anyway I'm scared of telling my mum because she'd throw a fit and because of my pugnacious nature, we'd end up having a fight.

I vaguely know about a period of history and I thought I could go online and search for it but it occurred to me--what if it never happened in this book? When I searched for the book's name, it didn't tell me what events were in there either.

This book report is 10% of the Chinese History grade and now I've already lost two marks and if I don't hand it in, 10% of my Chinese History grade would be gone and I need it, because I'm not exactly good in Chinese History.

HELP.

Go to the library anyways, and power skim... I do that every now and then...

TheAshWolf 01-05-2013 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 400338)
Help...dying here...what can I do...?

...Google? x_x I don't know.

LaurenM 01-05-2013 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CACrools (Post 400340)
Go to the library anyways, and power skim... I do that every now and then...

The library is a half hour bus ride from here...so I can't do it without my parents noticing. And I'm clueless about the Chinese book part of the library and need my parents' assistance there, but problem is, I can't let them know.
I tried to call my friend who's really good at Chinese history and ask her whether so and so events happened in that book because she probably has read it but I couldn't reach her D:

LaurenM 01-05-2013 11:10 PM

Should I just come clean?

Sandy 01-05-2013 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 400304)
....I love how you wrapped up all that by saying you need more coffee. X'D

Thanks, Cass...that makes me feel a bit better about what happened. You don't ever have to worry about what you say and how it'll effect me, okay? <:^J I really do value your opinion, and your advice has really helped me in the past.

*cyber hugs back* You do know that you're one of my best friends on here, right?

January 9th is when this situation will all go downhill and can start to get wrapped up. However, I just learned that it won't REALLY be over until April (1 year anniversary of the madness....yayyyyy....*le sarcasm* *dies at the thought*). Plus I seem to be hungering for revenge more and more, which scares me, since I've never been a vengeful person or ever believed that revenge is right. x_x I dunno. I'm just struggling with trying to figure out what to do next. How to move forward again. How to recover. How to move on. Because, honestly, I feel like I just want to dig a hole, bury myself, and just not talk to anyone ever again. That or just curl up in bed and go to sleep and just stay like that for eternity, only getting up to eat and/or listen to music.

Meh. I guess I'm just sick of this situation. I know that if I get my feelings out, I can move on, but I don't know how to do that. *headdesks*

But enough about me. I'll get through this, eventually. I just need to heal for a while. <:^J Then I'll be back to normal--posting every week, writing a lot, rambling on A/N, just being myself again.

I know exactly what you mean. My family's at the center of this madness, and I can't seem to talk to any of them anymore. You're still hearing things? O_o Like what? D: I'm sorry things between you and your dad aren't good...mind if I ask why you're afraid? (You don't have to answer that, especially not on here; you can always drop me a note. Just curious.) And if it makes you feel any better, I went through a whole six months feeling like that. O___o I'd lay down, trying to get to sleep, and then feel this creepy sensation in my gut and just suddenly get the notion that I'm dying. I'd always sit up, freak out a little, then try to actually go to sleep. But it always took several times for me to actually fall asleep without suddenly thinking, "Wait a second...yup, I'm dying, maybe I should get up!"

As for your questions about me: I'm not afraid of my dad for any bad reasons like that. O_o it's just that when he's not super happy (he usually is), he's super sketchy and there's no way of telling what will set him off. This morning my dog ran up to me and sprayed diarrhea everywhere and he got his metaphorical panties in a big twist just because I reminded him that it was still there and should probably be cleaned up, and that i wasnt doing it because I had t even had breakfast yet. O_o so I just didn't talk to him. (Sorry for errors, I'm on my phone) And then the other night I heard him screaming at the top if his lungs to my brother, but to be honest that ties into my hearing-things thing because I wasn't sure if I actually heard him. And I just hear stuff like senseless screaming and rushed mumbling, like through a wall, and although it startles me I just ignore it most of the time. Last night I was sitting in bed and heard this weird moan from the staircase, like a moan that someone would make if they had been shot and were dragging themselves back home through an alley, but no one was there to make the sound (trust me--I know that sounded a little weird but no one was there.) just something I've been wondering about and aware of, nothing that concerns me a lot. Although sometimes I wonder if it classifies me as insane. O_o I don't think it should.
As for you, I think it would help if you came to terms with the vengeful side of yourself you speak of. Like, I mean if you accept it and you live kind of in agreement, you may not have problems with it anymore (I dunno, it's what I did and it really helped. It's like quicksand--the more you fight it, the more it pulls you under. It's normal to be angry sometimes, just like it is to be happy. :P)
As for healing and recovering while this is still going on, I'd say it might help to no beat yourself up and just huddle under your own wing for a little while. With this thing with my parents, not knowing when it's going to happen again, I find that I've been doing it a lot--I take a rest from being my own worst enemy and just do everything I can to make myself feel better: imagine myself being hired into Dreamworks, sit with my characters (I barely do this anymore XD), just lay around and listen to music, heck, a couple hours ago I ate comfort food for the first time in years and it actually made me feel better. (Mmm... Bread with peanut butter and dark chocolate with maple butter on it 8^D) I don't know if you've been doing this, but I know that you and me both tend to beat ourselves up. :/ that's all I can really say, since I'm not sure what's going on (*hugs*)


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