;;
Now I'm bordering on sarcasm and this isn't going to turn out well. I'm now forcing her to eat dinner.

Heeelp
Me
What Do I Do

NOW SHE'S GOING TO BE PEDANTIC
Have fun, Nadia!

I cant follow anyone's stories. I can't even write my own. I have no reason to come on to KP anymore. >.<

fuck i don't know i feel helpless and im so fucking confused

i feel so fucking worthless

i cant make anything work ever

not even friendship

and i just want to die sometimes

because i fuck everything up

and pretty much have made myself worthless

is there anything i don't fuck up

is there anything im genuinely good at

is there anything that i don't LIE ABOUT

YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME
YOU ARE REALLY MATURE FOR YOUR AGE (and in general) AND YOU'RE A GREAT WRITER AND A FAB FRIEND AND YOU'RE NICE AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL
YOU ARE NOT FUCKING WORTHLESS

yes you can
i'm so fucking glad you're still alive *hugs*

you are good at so many things and you'll get better and there's a LOT of things you don't fuck up

*buries you with hugs and love* you are wonderful and i'm really glad i know you

Oh my gosh, where do I begin?!

You're extremely intelligent. I mean, your username suggests your IQ is super high, and it is. You're an EXCELLENT writer and a WONDERFULLY SUPPORTIVE AND KIND friend. You're pretty. You're funny. I'm so very glad that you're on KP and that we met on here. And I'm genuinely happy to know that you're alive. you shouldn't want to die--you have PLENTY to live for! *glomps*

Tredom...what's wrong? *glomps*

*glomps everyone on KP*
YOU PEOPLE ARE AMAZING <3
don't be so hard on yourselves!

Well guys, thanks for the help. She hasn't eaten her lunch today, I'm not sure about breakfast and she's probably not going to eat dinner.

I honestly have no idea what to say that might help, since I've been having anxiety issues lately and can't hardly finish any of my meals or skip them entirely, causing my weight to drop considerably. And I have no idea how to make it go back to normal.

So

yeah.

o_o

I really do hope your friend starts eating again... D: Do you know what's upsetting her?

I'm on my phone so I can't white-text this, sorry
 

Basically I'm worthless and have nothing to live for but a life of emptiness and burdens. There is no reason I can think of why I should continue my life. Regardless I am unable to kill myself of course, however I just don't believe there's any appealing factors to my life whatsoever. I have no friends that I can really connect with so I've just given up. I hate the life I have cut out for me and I hate myself. I'm ugly, stupid, and apathetic anyways, so I don't expect pity. I need a reason to live. I don't know how to make myself better and I feel stupid for feeling like this because literally no one I know has depression, or... whatever it is i have. Everyone around me loves their life and is doing just fine and dandy and knows they have something to live for. I feel like a mental case and maybe I should be. I don't deserve anything. There must be something wrong with me because this is the sixth year of suppressing how worthless I am and how much I don't want to live. At this point I don't even know if cutting would help me with the emptiness. I care about nothing in my life, and whatever I'm not apathetic about, I downright hate--and it's all directed at myself. Damn, even if I was at least mildly attractive I could look forward to the splendours of the life of a pretty person but I can't go even leave my room half the time and I know my appearance ranges from fucking disgusting to just stupid at best. What do I have to look forward to? A lifetime of this? Of denying the fact that I sincerely wish I had never been born?

SANDY.

SHUT. UP. Life will get better, I promise. Have you told anyone about your feelings? Talking about it helps me. If you don't feel like talking to anyone, write in a journal or-- if you're religious-- pray. I've never seen you before, but I know you're beautiful. *gives hug*

Oh god. I apologise for being a dick last night.
I hope you start eating as well :C I do know, but I can't really help her because the problem is that she has no friends in her class and is always alone...and she kind of just realised that a few days ago and completely lost her appetite and her health's been affected as well and she had to go to the doctor yesterday. Thanks.

I had that apathetic feeling of apatheticness yesterday night and it was horrible...I can't imagine how it is for you.
You can work on VM and your art, I guess? I don't really know.

(JUST SO YOU KNOW: the following rant is not about any of you. I love you all. :D)

Can I be totally honest? You're all bitches. You really are. I admit I had a lot of fun with all of you in the past two weeks but between that fun, was periods of time where I felt like strangling all of you. I long for the day when people aren't discriminated about their weight, clothes, sexual orientation, looks, or anything. And as long as you keep doing what you're doing, that's not happening. Let me teach you a little lesson.
1. Never EVER make fun of someone for being over weight. It's rude and just plain horrible. How would you feel if someone made fun of your weight? Not very good would you? So just DON'T.
2. Don't make fun of what someone wears or for their personality. Some people are different. So you're not. I don't give a damn. Just don't make fun of someone who is different. Different is great.
3. Don't point at people. Just that.
As soon as this madness is over, I'm out. I'm so done dealing with your shit.

My day just got 99% better. :D

What's the one percent? D:

The one percent is the shit that happened earlier that I'm still thinking about. :D

I need some advice. I have no clue what to do. It's about the rant that I had yesterday up there ^. But I wasn't really clear as to what happened. The only person I've told is my brother. Okay so here goes...
So for the first couple weeks of school my grade has to sit with their homeroom kids at lunch. :mad: And I have two friends in my homeroom with me so I was really excited that I would get to sit with them. But they had friends in that class too. Friends that I was not too crazy about. But I sucked it up and thought, "this is gonna be fine. Just relax." but it's really not fine.
Yesterday they were making fun of two kids. Not to their faces or anything but just together at the table. It was a boy and a girl.
The girl is kind of over weight and that's why they make fun of her. One of the girls said, "I have a gym locker near hers. I had to stand near her while she changed." and the other girls were just disgusted and said they felt bad for her.
And the boy is my perfect specimen. They make fun of him because he wears pink and orange and as they say, "other girly colors". It's not against the law for boys to wear certain colors or, oh, I don't know, DRESS NICE. They called him a "girl dressed in a boy suit" (which can I say isn't even a good insult).
I don't know if I should tell someone because their not directly making fun of them and their not making fun of me. Or I could just let it go. Whatever I do, I would just cry if either one of the kids found out about this.
I don't know what to do.

If your friends are still pretty awesome aside from those factors, I suggest to tell them calmly and quietly, maybe through some kind of messaging. If you really hate them and don't know why you're still friends with them, you should probably just burst out on then.
I don't like orange or pink clothing, but that's not the point. I really think being a girl is better than being a boy on this aspect: they can still wear boyish clothes without much trouble. I wish it was the same for boys.

Yeah I really don't want to be friends anymore but I'm kind of stuck sitting with them until we can sit where we want. After we can do that I'm hoping to just go and sit with my other friends and have no other issues.

I really wish that was too. There's no reason why it shouldn't be though and that pisses me off.

Two of my best friends on kp are kinda not friends right now and i dunno what to do

Screw life

Homework is shit

I just want free time

Screw it

i feel that in my soul

O__o Who are you talking about, might I ask...? Did something happen?

Fuck high school. It has to ruin so much.

OH MY GOSH SANDY I DIDN'T SEE THIS POST UNTIL JUST NOW I SWEAR i'm sorry i really didn't see it. ;__;

*deep breath* *thinks for a moment*

Sandy, I have to be honest with you. I really don't know what the right thing is to say to you right now. I really really don't. I don't even know if you're still at this low point two days later, but, I'm going to try my best to say something that might help you.

I think you're beautiful. I always have. Your eyes are bright and unique. Your hair looks nice--the style and the color. And you have an extremely bright smile. I know I haven't seen a whole bunch of pictures of you, but what I've seen, I can't help but think you're pretty. And you know what? I know you've heard this a million times before, but it's true. We are our own worst critics. It IS possible for you to not hate how you look. I no longer hate how I look. It's taken me 15 years, but that's how I see myself. I don't LIKE how I look, but I don't HATE it, either.

And, you know what, Sandy? It DOES get better. There is a wonderful future in store for us. And someone cares about you and loves you more than anyone else. I don't know what you think about God at this point in your life, but, this is the ONLY thing that TRULY comforts me and makes me feel like I'm worth anything at all. Leave religion out of it--what churches have done bad things, what other churches don't make sense, what evolutionists and anthropologists have to say. It makes sense to me that there is a God, and that he loves us. And he tells us directly that he can and will help us and give us something worth living for.

This is what I turn to when I feel worthless and I hate myself and I hate just about every last thing in my life and I kind of don't even feel like being pitied or even comforted. (That feeling comes and goes more often than I let on, you know.) This is what makes me feel better.

Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; And those who are crushed in spirit he saves. (Psalm 34:18)
'Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness.’ (Isaiah 41:10)
"And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." (Revelation 21:4)
"For this is the will of my Father, that everyone that beholds the Son and exercises faith in him should have everlasting life..." (John 6:40)

I don't know if that will help you feel better, Cass. But it's what makes me feel better, and it's the best thing I've ever found for not only myself, but for the majority of my family and friends, too.

;-;
...who?

...I feel myself slipping away from who I used to be. I have no idea what my personality is. I'm a different person as soon as I walk through the school doors. I honestly don't know who I am anymore. No matter who I am, I'm going to be insecure about myself.

"Be yourself" is the worst advice I've ever heard. When you've put on so many masks, how can you know what's beneath them? When you've changed yourself so many times you can't remember a time when you were truly "yourself"?

.-.

Sandy... I think Ash said it all.
*hugs* Yeah, that pretty much describes me, although I've never put it into words such as these... .____. All I can really suggest is to see who you are around your friends, when you aren't quiet or shy. That's when I'm usually at my best, "true" self, anyways.

Cami... you just put how I feel in to words. I'm so sorry that you feel that way.

No Rain by Blind Melon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL6tB_0ZJtw

This is my theme song.

^_^

what the fuck
*crushes you with hugs* you need to tell someone. please.

O_O

Oh my gosh, I...I..... *bear hug* Things will be okay. You just need to try to calm down. You need to tell someone, ANYONE in your life about this issue. A teacher, a parent, a neighbor, SOMEONE! I don't know much about your situation, so I can't give you any direct advice...but I do know that you need to tell someone what's going on. Don't beat yourself up emotionally, and don't listen to the nasty things he tells you, because none of it is true and he has NO RIGHT to scare you like this.

My days are so boring. It's school, school, school and then holidays are always the same and then weekends I sit around on my butt doing nothing but writing and not progressing, watching movies. My days are so boring. I hate it so much. Ugh.

Who? O_O I was not aware of this.

Tell someone. This can't go on.