omg i actually kinda laughed at this, thank u sunshine. >u< i legit need sleep tonight, but imma sneak back on here and try to calm down bc i'm so jumpy and it's like 11 here

you'll do fine honestly, just keep looking over your notes and stuff, like meera said. as your your shrink, you can always ask for your mom not to sit with you? i found it awkward so i asked if she could sit in the car instead so she does that now. don't be afraid to ask about your comfort etc, and your mom won't be mad, she's probably just worried about you

oK THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR AGES but i never like to rant bc i feel like i'm an attention seeker?? idk
so basically i used to be friends with this person in my class bc i accidentally found her on instagram and we became friends, and her account was a secret ana/depression account. so obviously i knew about that. we were best friends anyway for ages to the point where she was the only one i'd talk to bc i have no friends and i kind of relied on her a lot. recently i was making a joke about her liking this guy when she didn't but she didn't bother telling me it upset her, only saying i was lying, so eventually she just started blanking me and ditching me. eventually i got really pissed and dmed her trying to force an explanation out of her, and she said it upset her. so i apologized and said i would stop. fast forward to now, she's blanking me completely again and she posted something on instagram about 'letting people in on her problems and regretting it', before blocking me on instagram completely. now she's starting to get friendly with this girls in my class who i'm friends with and it bOTHERS ME SO MUCH JC she got pissed at me for walking to class ONCE with this girl and now she's waiting for that girl after class and talking to her. some of my sort of friends seem to think she's pretty cool and they're talking to her and it's really getting me down because she's basically replacing me and not giving a shit about my emotions. ik i should just ignore her and not let her issues overrule mine but it would be easier to do that if she didn't suck up to MY ONLY FRIENDS and leave me in the dark!! but i can't say anything horrible to her bc that would make me a worse person and she's suicidal/anorexic so i'm constantly worrying and angry and upset over a girl who frankly wouldn't even care if i got hit by a bus!! why tf do i always put effort and care into people who don't care about me?? it's a waste of time and energy and this whole situation is basically increasing my anxiety and sadness and i literally want to stab her but i don't. the end

for anyone who feels suicidal??
 

(*hugs super tight*) crappy friends are the worst. especially crappy friends that you can't help but care about. i've had some really dangerous friendships go on with people similar to that and it really sucks and i hope you feel better soon okay? (*hugs again and gives chocolate*)

i think im scared of people. genuinely scared. all people. even you guys im just waiting to say something wrong and you guys will hate me and i am just terrified of people.
also does anyone else have a problem with spontaneous depression or is it just me
one second im super happy like really happy and the next i suddenly feel rly sad and empty and its just horrible i want to be more stable is this thing that happens even a thing
and no one cares i just want someone to care and put me above others and i just want to be someones first priority for once not second best or third wheel is that selfish i cant expect that much from people especially when i dont deserve it all i deserve is alone and thats what im getting so everything is justified
also i made show choir and i was happy and am happy but its just being overshadowed by these other things and does anyone hve advice or can i just talk to someone i need to talk to someone i need to know how to put a stop to this
i want to be happy but i cant
i shouldnt be sad it just happens
everything is falling to pieces
someone help me

hey hey sc rms shhh we would never hate you! you're allowed to make mistakes, and learn from them, and if you ever do say smth wrong (which i doubt u ever will ok) we will never ever hate you ok

also, n o ofc not u deserve 2 be someone's first priority, everyone deserves that. you don't deserve to be alone, you're great and funny and kind and if anyone is making u the third wheel then they're absolutely wrong oka y

om g congratulations on getting into show choir tho??? that is literally so cool (but ofc you'd make it you have an amazing voice omg) (also i keep thinking of u being in the new directions i am glee trash this is amazing ) and also u can totally talk to me if u want to just email me thru contact tab (not my old email u have currently )

but srsly u deserve to be happy an d if that can't happen rn then it will soon because things get better and ther eare always good moments in everything no matter how sucky life gets overall and i hope u have a whole load of those good moments u deserve it <333333333

oh my god can we exist together in real life and be best friends and be each other's first priorities okay thanks bye *hides*

ok so first of all i can't say i relate to this because for me working can solve basically anything but honestly you know you're one of my highest priorities and basically my best friend and i don't care if you told me not to worry but i'll be overprotective of you and freak out anyways and try to help but it'll only make it worse for all of us involved. just pretend it never happened. because these thoughts will slowly take you over and you'll not be able to do anything else. focus on the good things and ignore your problems for now because if you forget about negative things they really will disappear.

i'm really sad and lonely and i want to call him but i don't think that's acceptable behavior because i only call him once a week on sundays