I should've said this earlier.
I've admired your writing from a distance for a long time, I've never been sure how to approach you, but this looks like as good any opportunity. I love your writing, and Shooting Star holds a place in my heart. You write so lovely darling...I know that probably doesn't help, but maybe it will...?

so my parents have no concept of logic and it's making me so mad i nearly took the door off its hinges again
like i get a text and i'm distracted for two seconds, then i work, then they come in and lecture me on zoning out for fifteen minutes and i forget what i was doing and i just go around breaking everything in the house and i want to just fight someone now and how am i related to these illogical people who give me no credit even though i work twice the hours they do
i want to move out right now because i'd be better off making my own living somehow and just fending for myself in general

in other happier news, i've gotten a lot better at standing up to this random abusive shit that sometimes happens here and i'm so glad about it because if i gave into that pressure earlier and hurt myself or something, i wouldn't have gotten this strong. so hang in there, you never know what'll happen. (STILL I WANT TO FIGHT SOMEONE I'M SO MAD LIKE THE WHOLE THING WITH MY FREAKING PIANO TEACHER BEING A BIT RACIST AND THEN THIS. ALSO MY GRANDMOTHER IS EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATING ME IN ORDER TO FATTEN ME UP AND I JUST WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT'S NOT OKAY AND I'VE BEEN TELLING HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE ALL DAY BUT SHE SAYS I'M KILLING HER)

FREAKING FiGHT ME RIGHT NOW I NEED SOMETHING TO PUNCH OTHER THAN MY STUPID DOOR

sorry i'm late BUT PUNCH A PILLOW. OR YOUR MATTRESS. OR A WHOLE STACK OF COUCH PILLOWS IF POSSIBLE. IT HELPS AND ALSO DOESN'T HURT. TEXT ME IF U NEED TO EVEN THO IT'S LATE ALSO I HAVE SOME STUFF I DID TODAY AND CRAP SO IDK IF U NEED A DISTRACTION I'M HERE 4 U

i have been punching pillows, then my door, then more pillows, then my desk, then the floor, then my desk again, then my unicorn plushie, and then i gave up and just collapsed and slept and then played tennis with my mom/sis and now here i am, completely exhausted and drained but hella relieved. this is usually what i do when i'm really really really angry at someone (WHICH IS WHY NOT TO MAKE ME THIS MAD AND THEN STAY IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME BECAUSE I WILL END YOU AND EVERYTHING ELSE I CAN FIND). but i'm pretty much fine now <3 oh gosh you're too nice and i don't wanna disturb you or anything... i'll talk after i finish this essay (aka me rambling about how asexual i am) ^.^

FIGHT ME I'M REALLY TINY *falls on face*

tall ppl: *laugh*

u: *rips door off of hinges* *carries full bookcase* *steals clarinet reeds????* *would probably punch thru a wall if given permission*

tall ppl: *laughter dies down* *horror*

me: U KICK THEIR BUTTS I'LL HOLD UR FLOWER

heck, i'd punch through a wall even if i wasn't given permission and i was pissed enough to ^.^
once i broke a clarinet reed. i was happy. even the person who it belonged to was happy bc it was and old ancient reed and i was enlisted to break it.
LOL WHAT FLOWER XD DON'T WE BOTH HAVE POLLEN ALLERGIES
YOU CAN HOLD MY NONEXISTENT CAT INSTEAD <3

punching myself is strangely therapeutic
like even when i don't feel crappy i punch that one spot on my hand and i feel much better
and im entirely too happy about this giant bruise like is it bad that i keep trying to make it worse in the weirdest ways im literally slamming the injured area against blunt, hard objects and biting it (don't worry i don't do this in public) and again punching it like WOW my punches are pretty strong im glad that karate i learned is still with me
strangely enough the harder i punch the less it hurts?? like when i punch lightly ican feel the pain but then when i go all out it's sort of comforting (and even more so if it ends up making the bruise worse)
this probably isn't normal is it
meh