Originally Posted by shadowtide
(Post 358736)
So my sister told me that One Direction replaced Fun as her favorite band because she found out Nate Ruess doesn't believe in God so she doesn't like Fun anymore. And yeah, I don't care, I don't like either band, but I said it didn't make sense to dislike music just because of the musician's religious viewpoint. Then you came in the room and asked what we were talking about. You said she was right, and that what a musician believes is reflected in their music. I said if she liked the music before, the music didn't change just because she found out something about the singer. Then you asked me if I found out a singer beat his children, do I think it would be reflected in his music, and would I still like him. …what the eff? You're comparing disbelief in a deity to child abuse? That's not the same, at all. That's an insulting, illogical, bigoted comparison. I wish I could tell you that.
You know what else I wish I could tell you? I wish I could tell you that I'm an atheist. The funny thing is, I've been doubting for over a year, but I didn't stop believing completely until around two months ago. I tried to believe. I prayed. I cried, and I begged God to help me believe in Him. I wanted to believe so badly. I felt like I was a horrible person for doubting God. If a year ago I could've trusted you to listen to me instead of freaking out and judging the state of my soul, right now I would probably believe in everything Christianity teaches. If I didn't hear you sneering about how nombelievers don't believe in God only because they don't want to be responsible for their actions, or making remarks like 'non-religious doesn't mean they don't believe in anything, it means they'll believe in anything', or saying that you never know what someone who doesn't believe in God will do because they have no basis for morality, or making mean remarks about people who believe differently from you, or saying that God's existence and goodness is immediately evident to anyone who looks at the universe, I might have told you.
I hate it when we fight about something and you scream at me that Satan is leading me straight on the path to Hell. Do you have any idea at all how much it hurts when you tell me that? I hate it when you ask me if I love Jesus, because I hate lying to you. I hate receiving the Eucharist, because I don't believe that it is the body of Christ, and pretending that I believe a piece of bread is Jesus' body and saying amen to that and eating it feels like the most terrible lie ever.
Right now, I hate you mom. I hate you. I hate you almost as much as I hate myself.
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