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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Lily09 11-29-2012 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 370062)
......... o/////_/////o I know exactly how you guys feel. There was this point about a year ago when I thought I was gay. It lasted about a week and then I was like, "Whoa, calm down there..." but before that and even now, I feel like everyone I know thinks I'm gay. It's really the only explanation for my personality, the way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I think, everything. Sometimes I feel like everything would have been easier for me if I had been born male, even though I don't identify myself as transsexual. I have every single "stereotypical" boy personality trait, including a weird urge to seem emotionally masculine/indifferent. o_O I've always wanted to try cross dressing too, just for fun. I'd love to cut my hair and romp around in a suit, and there is not a day where I don't look in the mirror and imagine what kind of guy I would make.
My mom sees a part of this side of me and describes it as "me being male in my past lives." ...? Okay... I guess that works... o_o
I mean, the only reason my brother is such a macho-guy around his buddies and at home is because he's seen how I behave... ._. (*has no idea*)


I can relate about the apathy, too. Everything has changed after I got into pre-IB, seeing as it is an enrichment program and finally gave my brain something to do. I had no idea that all these problems were being caused by me being kept in an intellectual chicken coop and pecking away at myself in frustration--summer break is the worst for me, and I dread it, but at least I know it's a while away. But since IB, I've been a completely different person. I'm channeling my energy into my schoolwork, maintaining athletics, with VM and art on the side and everything is great. I go to school in the morning feeling like I'm finally going to get somewhere, that I'm not just another worthless nothing, that there is a future for me that I will have earned, me alone. It doesn't even matter to me whether I meet someone to share my life with, in fact I feel like it would hold me down. My one true love is academics and my career, and right now my career is school... since grade nine started I have never been so happy with my life as I am now.
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who has changed from being in an extremely dark place to being somewhere less awful. :)

lucky, people in my IB program are like "aha what is this IB learner profiles shit this is STTUUUUPPPIIIIDDDDD"

L.S.Trendom 11-29-2012 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandy (Post 370062)
......... o/////_/////o I know exactly how you guys feel. There was this point about a year ago when I thought I was gay. It lasted about a week and then I was like, "Whoa, calm down there..." but before that and even now, I feel like everyone I know thinks I'm gay. It's really the only explanation for my personality, the way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I think, everything. Sometimes I feel like everything would have been easier for me if I had been born male, even though I don't identify myself as transsexual. I have every single "stereotypical" boy personality trait, including a weird urge to seem emotionally masculine/indifferent. o_O I've always wanted to try cross dressing too, just for fun. I'd love to cut my hair and romp around in a suit, and there is not a day where I don't look in the mirror and imagine what kind of guy I would make.
My mom sees a part of this side of me and describes it as "me being male in my past lives." ...? Okay... I guess that works... o_o
I mean, the only reason my brother is such a macho-guy around his buddies and at home is because he's seen how I behave... ._. (*has no idea*)


I can relate about the apathy, too. Everything has changed after I got into pre-IB, seeing as it is an enrichment program and finally gave my brain something to do. I had no idea that all these problems were being caused by me being kept in an intellectual chicken coop and pecking away at myself in frustration--summer break is the worst for me, and I dread it, but at least I know it's a while away. But since IB, I've been a completely different person. I'm channeling my energy into my schoolwork, maintaining athletics, with VM and art on the side and everything is great. I go to school in the morning feeling like I'm finally going to get somewhere, that I'm not just another worthless nothing, that there is a future for me that I will have earned, me alone. It doesn't even matter to me whether I meet someone to share my life with, in fact I feel like it would hold me down. My one true love is academics and my career, and right now my career is school... since grade nine started I have never been so happy with my life as I am now.
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who has changed from being in an extremely dark place to being somewhere less awful. :)

For like two nonconsecutive days I was sure I was gay. It was accompanied by the same… I dunno, hypomania-ish/happy-ish feeling of part of my above vent, the make up and stuff, but more extreme. And then the other day I wondered if I was gay but then my thought was, like, "Nahhh, probably not."
Suits = totally awesome. So. :p


Glad things are better for you. (:

nngo 11-29-2012 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 370068)
For like two nonconsecutive days I was sure I was gay. It was accompanied by the same… I dunno, hypomania-ish/happy-ish feeling of part of my above vent, the make up and stuff, but more extreme. And then the other day I wondered if I was gay but then my thought was, like, "Nahhh, probably not."
Suits = totally awesome. So. :p


Glad things are better for you. (:

“I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all. None of them liked art or music. They just wanted to fight and get laid. It was many years ago but it gave me this real hatred for the average American macho male.” ― Kurt Cobain.
Usually artistic, introverted, emotional, INFP sort of males have a tendency to lean toward being more conventionally 'female'. It's probably nothing worrisome, to be honest, except that you're probably better than the majority. The reason why you prefer female clothes/makeup/whatevs is probably because female clothes/makeup/hair/whatevs allows more self-expression, art, etc. It's a pretty common way of thinking for more creative, individualistic, deep people, who also tend to be more depressed, confused, etc. And conventional 'feminine-ness' is actually not bad at all, unless it's annoying. It's being less like a metal stick that 'macho men' are supposed to be.. albeit, a fake metal stick, because it's just how society carves it out to be. I suggest you not to worry about it and if it's who you are, embraace it.
@Sandy, me too, sometimes. It's just that I am more emotional/intelligent than most guys.. xD

L.S.Trendom 11-29-2012 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nngo (Post 370074)
“I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all. None of them liked art or music. They just wanted to fight and get laid. It was many years ago but it gave me this real hatred for the average American macho male.” ― Kurt Cobain.
Usually artistic, introverted, emotional, INFP sort of males have a tendency to lean toward being more conventionally 'female'. It's probably nothing worrisome, to be honest, except that you're probably better than the majority. The reason why you prefer female clothes/makeup/whatevs is probably because female clothes/makeup/hair/whatevs allows more self-expression, art, etc. It's a pretty common way of thinking for more creative, individualistic, deep people, who also tend to be more depressed, confused, etc. And conventional 'feminine-ness' is actually not bad at all, unless it's annoying. It's being less like a metal stick that 'macho men' are supposed to be.. albeit, a fake metal stick, because it's just how society carves it out to be. I suggest you not to worry about it and if it's who you are, embraace it.
@Sandy, me too, sometimes. It's just that I am more emotional/intelligent than most guys.. xD

/yeahcanrelatetothatquote

I think I was thinking something like that, a while ago… Like when you linked to that one personality type blog.
Thanks.


And thanks everyone else, too, for paying attention. :3

nngo 11-29-2012 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.S.Trendom (Post 370095)
/yeahcanrelatetothatquote

I think I was thinking something like that, a while ago… Like when you linked to that one personality type blog.
Thanks.


And thanks everyone else, too, for paying attention. :3

No problem, it's in our nature to. If we didn't, we'd be paining ourselves. It's like watching a sack of kittens getting crucified and burnt and doing nothing to stop it.

rebecca 11-30-2012 02:24 AM

Why is everyone depressed? Genuine question here.

maxi 11-30-2012 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 370133)
Why is everyone depressed? Genuine question here.

;3 Look at the title of thread.

LaurenM 11-30-2012 02:30 AM

I practically slept the whole day away. I woke up at 5 a.m. feeling suffocated and when I was called out for breakfast, I checked my temperature. I had a fever.
So no school. I originally wanted to spend the day typing and reading, but I can't even sit up straight. My back aches, even when I lie down. So did my thighs, and my knees. So the only way I can be comfortable is to sleep, because in the unconsciousness, I don't feel the pain. And my body's sweating, but when I kick away the duvet I start shivering.
I feel like shit.

rebecca 11-30-2012 02:31 AM

That sounds...fun. I hope you recover soon.

evasong 11-30-2012 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 369736)
Aww! I'm sorry! *le hugs* Life is rough. I wish I knew how you feel, so I could share my pain with you so that I may be of better use to you. :( All I can do honey is tell you, this is the world; everyone gets hurt. And I'm not saying that you will be hurt all the time, because I definitely hope and pray that you won't. But this is the battle, we are in it, the battle against drama, against depression, against our own feelings. Feelings control us all. They are a good and bad things at times. I understand you have a mix right now: you're mad, and sad, upset, annoyed... ectera. And I am sorry your friend quit on you. Not everyone can keep promises and stop their own pride from hurting or breaking another ones heart. It our nature. D: But I hope you know, that in this battle, I am right there with you, never leaving your side through the worst. I cry out that I don't break it and break your heart more only later to learn that I gave up on you. But that I stuck with it, even if you made a wrong to me or whoever. But only if you influence me in a negative way (which I am positive you wont) then understand why I left. But I pray that I will be there. That I won't take on your problems but give you the wisest opinions I can and not push any pressure on you.

Girly, I'm here in this dramatic, aching, pressuring battle with you, we all are :'D *another hug*


Thanks, bookworm1999. That makes me feel really good. :) You seem to be a great friend. :) Hope if anything happens to you then I can help. :)


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