Oh. My. Fecking--

haha
i actually feel kind of physically sick from how much i hate myself right now

TRE
>_>
no.

you are amazing.

Sad, but motivated
 

Okay.
(*looks around at life*)
(*looks around at my dreams*)
Okay.
I CAN do this.
I can DO this.

(*looks at tablet*) (*looks at sketchbook, then at laptop*)
(*turns on music*)
I can DO this!

(*looks at time*)

Oh god nope.

awe.
i hate time.

Me: YES! VICTORY! I FINISHED MY ENGLISH PROJECT! I AM THE CHAMPIOOOOOONNNNN--
Life: Uh, excuse me?
Me: What?
Life: Um, don't you remember? You have to study for your Earth Science test, practice viola and piano, and then arrange It's Time for 3 violas and 2 cellos.
Me: Well fug you too, life. Sleep, you wanna join in?
Sleep: Lol nope buddy, not getting any of me tonight.
Caffeine: I'll help you! I'll try not to make your hand shake this time, but hey baby, it's part of the job.
Anxiety: Don't forget your issue with me, too! I'm here!
Me: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU

oh my god


what the eff is my life coming to


this week


wth is going to happen here


I don't understand


I swear, if I can make it through this week I can make it through hell and back


halp


MY FUGGING PIANO COMPETITION IS ON TUSEDAY AND I STILL HAVE A FREAKING SOCIAL STUDIES BOOKLET TO TURN IN. AND FREAKING PASCHA. BECAUSE I AM SO GETTING HOMEWORK DONE NEXT WEEKEND.


i don't get it. because i'm not religious, not really, i mean i believe in God and i try to be nice to people, but i'm not that into it and i never have been but this time is different. this is probably my first Pascha being as effed up as i am. so now i have to deal with all of this. i broke down crying in the church choir when we were rehearsing the music just because it overwhelms me. Pascha is the one time every year when i feel safe and happy, and i can say that i'm alright, and i would probably rather die than let any of my friends know how much this means to me, but i don't even know if i can make it through. i always cry, just a little bit, because it's so perfect, but i can't trust myself to just break down and sob like i die during choir practice. i don't even know if i'm crying from happiness or from terror. Or both. i'm just so fucking happy, and i can't explain how much this one time a year means to me, but i don't know if this time will be the same. i hate not knowing. maybe in that moment when it goes dark and then the light spreads, spreads across the church, one candle to another, that moment of peace and love, i'll be okay.

but i'm not sure.

It's good that you believe in God, AA. <:^J I know it might be hard for you to believe, but God really does care about people. And that includes people like you--those who are sad, depressed, confused, and/or overwhelmed.

And I have scriptures to prove that.

Psalms 34:18 says, "Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; And those who are crushed in spirit he saves."

Isaiah 41:10 says, "'Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness.'"

2 Corinthians 1:2-4 says, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those in any sort of tribulation through the comfort with which we ourselves are being comforted by God."

We are all imperfect. Not a single one of us deserves love from Jehovah God. And yet, he loves us anyway, but not only as a whole species, but also as individuals. He knows your name. God knows all of our names. He knows everything about all of us. "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered," says Matthew 10:30.

I know you've probably heard this many times before, and I know a lot of people either don't believe it or dismiss it as not being much, but, as John 3:16 says, "God loved the world so much that he gave his only-begotten Son, in order that everyone exercising faith in him might not be destroyed but have everlasting life."

This isn't some sort of a fairy tale or a myth. That actually happened. The most perfect father in all the universe, who has the purest kind of love gave his firstborn creation--the one who had been with him the longest, perhaps for billions of years--so that us humans, one of God's most precious creation, could enjoy the everlasting life that God wanted us to have from the beginning. And we can have that everlasting life if we choose to draw close to him and do what he wants us to do. In return, we will not only live forever on paradise Earth, we will also enjoy a multitude of other benefits. Revelation 21:4 reads, "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." Imagine that, AA...no more tears, ever. No death to fear. No pain to endure. ^_^

When you feel upset or alone or depressed or plain old sad, feel free to pray. God wants us to pray to him no matter what our mood is. He wants us to talk to him. He knows what we're thinking and what we need, but he also wants us to make the effort to talk to him. He loves to see that we're turning to him. We should thank him when we pray, too, since we owe him everything. We should ask him for help if we need it. He certainly has the ability to do so. How often do you pray, AA? Don't feel bad if you don't pray very often. It's a habit we need to make a conscious decision to start. <:^J

Atheists, please back off. I think AshWolf made a great motivational speech. So I am sincerely hoping none of you turn up and are critical about it.

Thank you, rebecca. I appreciate that very much. ^_^

Quite honestly, I believe that everyone has a right to choose what they believe. Atheist or not, everyone has the right to choose. I will not criticize or judge anyone for that choice. I'm willing, of course, to state why I believe what I believe. But, I do not have any desire at all to argue about it, or constantly debate over it. I will, however, do all that I can to answer any questions anyone might have about God or the Bible.