Hm...
To be honest, I think it needs a little individuality. Right now, you have the swat team and MS13. You need Jeremy, the special agent or Enrico, the MS13 guy who calls all the shots. You need a person, a character that stand out, that the reader wants to care about.
I think it's a really good plot, though, and if I was a fan of crime drama writing I would totally be bothering you to start writing it. *That doesn't sound weird, does it? It sounds like it could come off as insensitive... it's not*
__________________
zooweemama
|