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Old 06-24-2019, 06:40 AM
Werty Werty is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: in my house doing "remote learning"
Posts: 1,188

Originally Posted by Steampunk View Post
Alright folks, I need some advice on a very sensitive matter. Quick possible trigger warning for a few of you- this involves a friend who is at risk for possibly committing suicide.
A close friend of mine has been dealing with depression for quite some time, and is struggling with their gender identity on top of that. They’ve stopped seeing a counselor but do have meds they try to remember to take. Since we go to different schools it’s usually difficult to read how they’re doing at any given time over text. But today we shared a conversation that has me reasonably worried.
In their texts they admitted to me they’ve been feeling increasingly like they don’t belong in their body and have been feeling more and more suicidal, but don’t yet plan on acting on it. With a bit of prompting from me, they also admitted they have a few possible suicide plans and may potentially have the means to carry them out.
Normally I’d have no qualms about reporting this to their mother or some kind of school resource, but I’m worried losing their trust now might prove harmful to their future wellbeing.
Their mother is very progressive and already knows about and supports their gender identity. She also knows they’re depressed and set up counseling for them awhile back.
The problem is that if i tell their mother and she confronts them about it (which I’m pretty sure she will) it could serve to make things tenser at home and not actually do any good. When they first told their mother they were depressed they ended up feeling super guilty about it because their mom started crying and blaming it on fruits and vegetables and etc, so I’m worried their mother might make things worse. They also won’t do any therapy anymore because it makes them uncomfortable, and I believe frequently forget to take their meds.
If i tell their mother now, what if it doesn’t help anything? What if I just lose their trust without actually helping them at all and when the time comes that they’re really considering it in the moment, they won’t trust me enough to call me or someone else?
I feel like I should share the messages with their mother, but they aren’t very social and I’m scared that if the time comes and they don’t trust me enough to come to me for help, they Just won’t go to anybody at all.
Typing this out, I’m feeling more confident that I still need to show the messages to their mother, but I’d still appreciate any comments or advice you may have.
I've had a friend like this recently who isn't suicidal, but is pretty sure she has bipolar one. I was struggling with the same problem, and if she hadn't opened up to her family yesterday, I would have told them anonymously.

I'd recommend the same. Of course, you might want to find out if this friend has told anyone else first, because if you do it anonymously and nobody else knows, then they'd probably be even more angry.

Of course, this friend might be on edge for a while, but if you think this is for the best, then go for it. If you think this might make things worse, don't. Have a long, long talk with them, either way. Don't at all hint at telling their mom.

If they start to suspect other friends, please steer them away so there's no blame on innocent people.
please, ignore my screaming.
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