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Old 04-09-2019, 11:37 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: ny/ma
Posts: 862

also it was owens birthday today- he would’ve turned 17. idk i just miss him a lot and i still can’t really believe he’s dead even though it’s been almost seven months. i wish i had had more time with him- i’m so sorry i didn’t get to know him as well as i wanted. i thought i had more time but i didn’t and i regret a lot. he should be in the play with us, he should be at math team practice. i’m not doing frisbee this year because the reason i stuck with it last year was because he was so kind and patient to me every practice. i feel so terrible for his family and everyone who was closer to him than i was. i hate that he’s never going to get to do so much. i hate that he had plans for life that he’ll never get to see realized. i hate that he’s just fucking gone, that i’ll never get to say goodbye. he didn’t deserve to die. i hate that he died scared and sad and slowly. i really hate that he regretted it- if someone had found him earlier or if we didn’t live in the middle of nowhere he would’ve lived and probably never tried again. sometimes (especially now that it’s warmer and reminds me of the fall) i catch myself hoping that he’ll wake up soon and be able to go home and be okay and i have to remember that he’s dead and will never go home. i just miss owen.
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