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Old 02-02-2019, 03:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Swallowtail View Post
has no one in my school learned fucking ANYTHING. theres this kid, Benji g, and he and a few friends were using this fucking Minecraft server and the other three were using racial slurs. and he called them out! he said "hey don't use racial slurs on this server" and then listed a few examples of things he didn't want them to say and then made one (1) joke using the n-word. and then his roommate TOOK A PICTURE and CROPPED OUT the "hey don't use racial slurs part" and then spread those screenshots everywhere. and people hate Benji g now! they hate him! he is holed up in a faculty's apartment. he has been getting hateful messages for the past day. we burned all of toren's shit and then on of the kids who was with us wanted to burn a nice message he gave her! and its not because he used this slur, its because he got on the wrong side of this one fucking group. "the pretty girls" self named, if u couldn't guess. and one of them dated him and they broke up and now they hate him! and they jumped on this excuse to fuck up his life!
and this is what terrifies me! this is such a fucking repeat. have we not learned fucking anything. we had two owens, owen b and owen s, and everyone called them the "good owen" and "the bad owen" until guess what! owen s hung himself! and we have two benjis, Benji l and Benji g and everyone is now using the same names. !!!! FUCK YOU!!! and now everyone is furious at the people who will still talk to Benji g! hey! remember how people would yell at me when I brought up owen's name in casual fucking conversation? remeber how freshman year owen s said the n-word to one of the "pretty girls: because he was a dumb fucking fourteen year old boy and spent LITERALLY THE REST OF HIS LIFE desperately trying to atone for it? how he wrote so many apology letters saying "you don't have to forgive me but please recognize that I am no longer the same person" ? remember how everyone ostracized owen s's girlfriend and hated her? remember how the "pretty girls" wouldnt talk to her until she shaved off her dreads because apparently she "wasn't black enough". remember how when he cheated on her they jumped on the opportunity to make her hate him and when she refused to hate him they they immediately cut her off again? remember how when they were just friends again she had to beg people to stop hating him for cheating on her when she had long since forgiven him (they also thought it was so fucking hilarious that he had cheated on her and actually congratulated the boy he cheated on her with)?
and Benji g? never really did anything wrong?? hes had such an awful time this year- owen was his friend- one of my worst memories from this fall is Benji crumpled in a heap on the porch just screaming and sobbing about how he saw owen's body. he actually just got back from being home for an extended period of time! wanna know why he was home so long? because he tried to fling himself off the same fire escape that owen hung himself from!
you wanna know something that terrifies me? owens ex-gf and one of his closest friends is currently sobbing because "the conversation I just had with Benji g is the same conversation I had with owen the night before he killed himself"
why can NO ONE AT THIS FUCKING SCHOOL LEARN ANYTHING. its only been four months (to the day!) since our last tragedy can we please avoid another!!!!
Originally Posted by Swallowtail View Post
hey also remember how unapologetically everyone hated owen? how when they announced that he died faculty brought me off campus and the moment i got back the first thing i heard was “well i didn’t want him to die but i’m kinda glad he’s not here anymore” remember how what he said freshman year got so fucking twisted by junior year? what he said was “hey, what’s up, my n**” ONE TIME and junior year i was told i shouldn’t be friends with him because he “repeatedly used the n-word in a discriminatory manner” and i was good friends with the person he said it to! i was the first person she talked to, and i remember her saying she was shaken up and a bit upset but she understood that maybe he didn’t know better and that while she had to take a break from their friendship that she hoped he’d learn and grow. and then somehow, over like the next week, this got turned into “owen is a terrible piece of shit and no one should ever talk to him” and no one ever let him learn and grow.
and people hated him so much that i was told that i shouldn’t have been friends roth him while mourning his DEATH. i was told that people should be allowed to say bad things about him at his memorial, and that the reason that a lot of kids didn’t go was because they thought that it was unfair that people would only say good things. yes, cool, great, i am going to go to the memorial service of my friend, a boy who took his own life at sixteen, and stand up there in front of his grieving family and talk shit about him just....fuck this school sometimes. jesus christ
that's literally s o fucked up im so sorry good God

and I'll use you as a
w a r n i n g
s i g n
that if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind

- I Found, by Amber Run
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