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Old 01-12-2020, 02:53 AM
Zelda Zelda is offline
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Originally Posted by Steampunk View Post
Man.... donít you hate when you get emotional about something... and try to shut down the conversation or close off because you have shitty social skills and youíre emotionally a baby but the other person just sees it as being rude and disrespectful and keeps trying to finish the conversation and you keep accidentally getting snappier and curter as you desperately try to cut off the conversation before you cross a threshold and they just keep getting angrier and angrier about it and you can tell theyíre getting angrier but youíre in such a precarious position, teetering over sobbing that you canít figure out how to alter the course so Just keep trying to cut off the conversation the same way like a dumbass??
If it helps at all, it gets easier to ride out conversations as you get older. You also get better at transitioning out of conversations.If someone is trying to have a conversation with you and the topic is making you emotional in a negative way, it is perfectly okay to tell them 'hey, I'm not comfortable talking about this, let's change the subject.'

You're not a dumbass and you're not emotionally baby, you're just growing and learning like everyone else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steampunk View Post
Or donít you just hate when youíre absolutely awful at in the moment conversations or arguments of debates so you can understand everything that you want to say and you know exactly what you mean and what your side of the story is but then actually discussing it out loud happens and it all disappears and all that comes out is weak whisps of what you actually want to say and now youíre crying and you canít stop and you donít even know why you started crying so easily but you canít communicate what youíre thinking and the other person Just gets angrier and angrier again because it seems like youíre not listening to what theyíre saying or youíre just spouting out weak excuse but really you just canít say it.
This happens to me all the time, man, it sucks! I hope you feel happier soon and in the mean time, here are some tips for arguments (take them with a pinch of salt though, I'm a gremlin):
- If you are polite and reasonable and communicate things like 'I'm sorry, I need a little more time to answer', then the other person is more likely to be polite and reasonable in return.
- If you have the option of controlling it, pick a medium that you are most comfortable with. I do arguments over text because the physical distance and the ability to put down my phone and walk away from the argument helps me keep myself from getting overwhelmed.
- Along the lines of control, remember that you cannot control the other person, but you can, and you should, control yourself. Controlling yourself doesn't always mean choking back the tears before they can escape, sometimes it just means wiping them away so that you're vision is clear and taking a few deep breaths.
- If you have time to prepare, writing down your argument helps a lot. It gives you an opportunity to experience all the emotions you may have about the topic in your own safe environment, and once it's out you can adjust the wording to fit the person you'll be arguing with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steampunk View Post
Also just... hate how you feel after a big cry. Like... shivery and frail and empty and like you should still be crying but thereís something eating the tears up instead.
Big hugs to you, have a good rest and hopefully you'll feel better after.
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