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Old 02-02-2020, 02:47 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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Originally Posted by Werty View Post
her mom and her grandparents are kinda the problem (she's got a very fractured family). my mom knows about it but there's not much she can do. my friend is doing a little better not but she still sometimes cuts herself. i've been BEGGING her to get therapy (which her mom offered) and she keeps saying "maybe", and when it comes to her, maybe is a hard pass. i love her so much but being her personal therapist and nearly the sole person she relies her problems too (i know the most. she always comes to me) is so hard because now i have two lives in my responsibility.

you got any tips on how to convince her to get therapy? i've already told her it's patient/therapist confidential but she's probably not going to budge.
therapy is really tricky because if she really doesn’t want to go, then it definitely will not work. however, it might help to try and get an answer out of her as to why exactly she doesn’t want to go to therapy. if it’s that she’s afraid to ask or afraid that people will think of her weirdly or pityingly for going, you can assure her that plenty of people go and that plenty of perfectly mentally healthy people go just because it can be nice. if it’s that she’s afraid of being a burden, you can tell her that her mother already offered it, or if that’s still too much, you can point her towards hotlines (741-741 is a pretty good 100% confidential texting hotline, it’s also perfectly free.) if she just doesn’t like the impersonal aspect of therapy (this is where i stand) you should encourage her to find an adult that she can slowly start opening up to. if she’s afraid that a therapist might end up reporting her to her parents or something (if a therapist thinks you might hurt yourself or others and you’re under 18 they legally have to tell someone) you can again point her towards hotlines, which do NOT have to call the police, child protective services, or your parents. she can use hotlines to talk about the self harm and anything else and then she can use therapy to talk about the reason for self harm with someone she can build a relationship with. the important thing is that you (gently) let her know that she can’t continue using you as her sole resource
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