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  #19911  
Old 06-25-2019, 12:26 PM
Werty Werty is offline
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Okay I'm gonna open up about something and this will be really hard to talk about but here goes

On Kidpub every time I look back on my past self I just see a clingy kid everyone tries to talk to. It's nothing any of you ever do, it's just me feeling this way. I've got ADHD and I have slight personality changes constantly, so I will always regret pretty much anything I do. y'all are so nice to me even when I embarrass myself and I couldn't hope for nicer people to be on this website. But I feel like I'm too clingy to this website and that I'm online too much and I ruined this experience for everyone somehow. I keep trying to change so I'll seem less like a clingy little kid and more like- well- you guys. You never make me feel like this, I swear, this is all me. It's just I feel so self concious seeing my younger self

No, this isn't ever going to make me quit kidpub. You can't get rid of me that easy. You have been some of the most amazing people I've ever talked to and if you want to reach out my email is werty130778@gmail.com, i doubt anyone cares but if you want to give me your pn or snapchat or something go ahead, not sure why you'd want to talk to a cringy shit like me~

love you all to death.
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  #19912  
Old 07-23-2019, 01:51 AM
Steampunk Steampunk is offline
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This is such a minor thing but it has me so freaking upset at myself. Iím taking an online writing course thatís centered in New York that has weekly lessons and assignments and I was so determined to not turn anything in late but itís only the first week and I already did. I forgot New York is several hours ahead of where I live and so even though itís on time in my time zone, itís counted as late on the actual course.
And itís so small, since all that will really happen is that itíll take up to 30 days to be graded instead of up to 7, but I feel really frustrated and like the teacher is going to think Iím slacking and lazy and not taking the course seriously. and like I donít know I just want to cry for some reason and I feel like a failure and like my parents and grandmother spent all this money to give me this opportunity and Iím just (language cover your eyes if youíre smol) fucking it up.
Maybe I just need to get some sleep.
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  #19913  
Old 07-24-2019, 03:11 PM
Gracithe1andonly Gracithe1andonly is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steampunk View Post
This is such a minor thing but it has me so freaking upset at myself. Iím taking an online writing course thatís centered in New York that has weekly lessons and assignments and I was so determined to not turn anything in late but itís only the first week and I already did. I forgot New York is several hours ahead of where I live and so even though itís on time in my time zone, itís counted as late on the actual course.
And itís so small, since all that will really happen is that itíll take up to 30 days to be graded instead of up to 7, but I feel really frustrated and like the teacher is going to think Iím slacking and lazy and not taking the course seriously. and like I donít know I just want to cry for some reason and I feel like a failure and like my parents and grandmother spent all this money to give me this opportunity and Iím just (language cover your eyes if youíre smol) fucking it up.
Maybe I just need to get some sleep.
Oof, sleep is important, class is important, not messing up is important, but you're the most important of all the things on that list because without you they don't happen??

Idk I never know what to say on this blessed thread but I always wanna cheerlead so here ya go

You can never mess up so badly that you can't make a comeback
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  #19914  
Old 08-30-2019, 06:58 PM
Werty Werty is offline
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I have these two friends, and we've been tight for a couple years, but they don't seem to get one thing:

I'm too polite of a person to get mad at people. I'm used to people yelling at me and I always feel like if I get mad it'll somehow get turned around to be my fault. So I can be angry, but (especially in person, especially with close friends) I always forgive people or don't really bring it up at all. This becomes a problem because two friends in particular (not going to name names here) get mad at me quite often for actually quite stupid reasons. The obvious answer would be to ditch them, right? But it's not that simple. Not only would ditching them make it awkward between me and most of my other friends who know these two, but also that i can't afford to lose them. I've been developing a lot of self hate lately and while sometimes they're at the cause of it I'm not mentally stable enough to let go of anyone right now. I'm constantly yelled at by people I love and the only people ever on my side I never feel like I can tell them anything because they're not as close. And I can't confront my friends because once again, I don't want the blame to be eventually pinned on myself.

I don't really need advice, but if you have any, I'm all ears. Just here to vent.

Edit: this is the first time it's actually been written out into records. And it feels good, not just letting self-hate boil up inside of myself. It feels good knowing that although every instinct is telling me not to blame them for this, and that it's somehow my fault, it's the truth and I need to accept it. These two are some of my closest friends but they don't understand what they do.
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Last edited by Werty; 08-30-2019 at 07:01 PM.
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