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  #291  
Old 01-04-2015, 04:49 PM
rebecca rebecca is offline
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Kelly is a mechanic in the middle of nowhere, who lives a boring, underpaid life. Until one day two strange men arrive in a car they claim was carved by dead monks, asking her to fix a clunking in their engine that turns out to be a bomb. When she offers them a lift to the nearest city, she discovers they are Life and Death - and if they don't stop a group of Necromancers discovering immortality, they are both about to be destroyed, replaced by an undead overlord. And so she gets sucked into their world of betrayal, murder and lies, wondering the whole time whether she is doing the right thing.
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  #292  
Old 01-04-2015, 09:11 PM
EmmaR EmmaR is offline
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At 2:30 am this morning, I decided it was perfect time to write a play where five boarding school boys in post-WWI England are locked in a closet. Here's exactly what I managed to scribble in my notebook:
Peter: The radical. Fascist, privileged, haughty. Too smart for his own good, failing all his classes because he's bored.
Daniel: Momma's boy. Neatly parted hair, clean room. Timid, passive. Speaks about his gender dysphoria.
Scott:The patriot. Had two brothers who died in WWI, wants to fight for his country as well.
Leo: The Marxist. Always head to head with Peter on politics. Honest, confident. Gay as hell.
Ned: Never wants to grow up. Peter Pan. The most immature of the group, always making rude remarks.


OKAY so I just started writing it from the scene I had in my head that spurred me to write it in the first place...
Scott: GOD, I wish there were some girls here. I would just like to look at some breasts for once. A single breast would do, even. One single, lonely breast. Am I right, Leo?
Leo: I've got all I need right here, actually.
Daniel: You mean you're--
Peter: A poof? (mumbling) Godless society. Figures that the Marxist likes it up the arse.
Ned: Really? Ugh. You're into that?
Leo: You're not? We all have our... preferences. Scott would like to see some breasts. I, on the other hand, am perfectly content with my current environment. Different tastes, I guess.
Ned: Yeah, but... (whispering) have you ever, you know... (lewd gestures)
Leo: Wouldn't you like to know.


And I wrote more but I don't like it enough to post it here. Don't hate, it was written at 3 in the morning. And although I know quite a bit about postwar England, I don't know anything about 1920s British vernacular. At all.
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  #293  
Old 01-05-2015, 07:31 AM
rebecca rebecca is offline
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In England, it isn't mom, it's mum/mummy. Your actual dialogue is good. Oh, and homosexuality was illegal at that point, remember.
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  #294  
Old 01-05-2015, 07:40 AM
maxi maxi is offline
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"I can be happy—just not whilst I'm alive."
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What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Raindrops on roses and
Girls in white dresses and
Sleeping with roaches and
Taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets and
Before all the stains
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  #295  
Old 01-05-2015, 07:29 PM
EmmaR EmmaR is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebecca View Post
In England, it isn't mom, it's mum/mummy. Your actual dialogue is good. Oh, and homosexuality was illegal at that point, remember.
Yep, I know about the illegality. I wanted to incorporate it but I think I will later. I wrote this at like 3 am so I was too lazy to really do my research. Oh man, I was so close. Thanks!
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  #296  
Old 01-06-2015, 08:45 AM
rebecca rebecca is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmmaR View Post
Yep, I know about the illegality. I wanted to incorporate it but I think I will later. I wrote this at like 3 am so I was too lazy to really do my research. Oh man, I was so close. Thanks!
It's only one letter away. And in private school at that time, they'd probably say 'mother', most of the time, unless they're mocking each other.

Oh, and private school in the UK is called public school. I don't know why, but it is.
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  #297  
Old 01-07-2015, 09:36 PM
saphiremoon saphiremoon is offline
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this is the first page from my newest novel, The Timekeeper

any feedback is very very welcome <33


Carefully, with practised, if not enervated delicacy, Raven turned the key in the timepiece. The strip of copper was just thick enough to hold by his fingertips, and he could feel its brittleness as he twisted it. It was even more fragile than when he’d started, warmed by his body heat, but he adjusted to its sensitivity without thought.

The key rotated, and a beam of candlelight caught on it and flashed into his eye. Raven didn’t react. He knew that if he flinched– if he even inhaled a little too sharply– the key would snap, and he’d have to start over. And that wasn’t exactly the perfect ending to the evening he had planned.

Readjusting his grip, he stilled his breathing and turned the key again. There was a moment’s silence, and then a faint, barely audible click.

Raven exhaled silently. His aching back– and common sense– told him to stop now, but he resisted. When he’d started adjusting time two hours ago, it had been eight milliseconds too slow, more off than it had been in months. He’d overshot it, pushing it five milliseconds too fast, and he’d only been able to settle it down to four in the past half hour.

He tried to tell himself that even if he didn’t feel comfortable when time was off, he still would’ve fixed it for far longer than was healthy. But he wasn’t that good a liar.
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  #298  
Old 01-17-2015, 01:12 AM
HannahChen2009 HannahChen2009 is offline
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Whoa ~ these are all either really cool or really cool. 8D
I wrote this blurby thing in the front of my character contest that you guys should totally enter because I need charries desperately.
http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-c...yes-2311153026
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  #299  
Old 01-25-2015, 07:40 PM
graceterry graceterry is offline
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Default new book idea synopsis (feedback)

Ella Richland is devastated when she is forced to move from her loving foster home to a new home where she is ignored and only is given the bare necessities she needs to survive. But she finds solace in her foster brother, Bo, his boyfriend, Travis, and their friends, Danny and Kimberly. While adapting to her school and new friends, Ella finds herself at home in the world of bathroom graffiti, figuring out how one would break into a house, and staying out of the sight of parents, and finds a safe haven at Danny's mom's house.
Until Danny's mom is arrested for breaking and entering.
Danny is positive that his mother is being framed, and he believes he knows who's done it. Soon, Ella finds herself on a stolen school bus with her friends in an attempt to escape the pressures of their families and track down the culprit. But the friends soon realize that the plot is more complex than they thought...
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  #300  
Old 02-01-2015, 04:27 AM
HannahChen2009 HannahChen2009 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by graceterry View Post
Ella Richland is devastated when she is forced to move from her loving foster home to a new home where she is ignored and only is given the bare necessities she needs to survive. But she finds solace in her foster brother, Bo, his boyfriend, Travis, and their friends, Danny and Kimberly. While adapting to her school and new friends, Ella finds herself at home in the world of bathroom graffiti, figuring out how one would break into a house, and staying out of the sight of parents, and finds a safe haven at Danny's mom's house.
Until Danny's mom is arrested for breaking and entering.
Danny is positive that his mother is being framed, and he believes he knows who's done it. Soon, Ella finds herself on a stolen school bus with her friends in an attempt to escape the pressures of their families and track down the culprit. But the friends soon realize that the plot is more complex than they thought...
wow it's really neat and I'd love to read it
but haven't you gotten enough stories in progress? xP
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edward is cuter-->, jacob is the cutest ha, land of stories, luna was here, team harry p. please, this is not sparta, xp xp xp xp xp xp xp

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