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  #321  
Old 06-18-2015, 07:12 PM
saphiremoon saphiremoon is offline
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Originally Posted by Arin View Post
i've read through some of these excerpts and i love it! are you planning on posting chapters later?
ARINYFACE (*tackle-glomps*) duude I've missed you ;-; email me nao brah

but thank you! c: probably not, because it's pretty mature (and kp seems to be getting a lot younger), but if you want me to email you a chapter, I'd love to! c: (*hugs*) miss you <33
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  #322  
Old 06-18-2015, 10:17 PM
Arin Arin is offline
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Originally Posted by saphiremoon View Post
ARINYFACE (*tackle-glomps*) duude I've missed you ;-; email me nao brah

but thank you! c: probably not, because it's pretty mature (and kp seems to be getting a lot younger), but if you want me to email you a chapter, I'd love to! c: (*hugs*) miss you <33
NIKKIIII i missed you too <3 meh i'm too lazy to email but i'll do it for you

definitely email me a chapter

we should talk more <3
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  #323  
Old 06-19-2015, 12:38 PM
saphiremoon saphiremoon is offline
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NIKKIIII i missed you too <3 meh i'm too lazy to email but i'll do it for you

definitely email me a chapter

we should talk more <3
aww arinyface i'm so touched <33 xp

kk I don't have you email so d'you want to email me first? (nikkilev11@hotmail.com)

yess <3
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  #324  
Old 07-20-2015, 07:42 PM
graceterry graceterry is offline
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Default new story synopsis

Kieran O'Byrne is in an extremely bad mood. Although she has pretty much believed in time travel, somewhat, she can not believe that her mother has time traveled from the accident that almost killed her to now. She cannot believe that people throughout time want her dead. She especially cannot believe that she and her friends must travel back in time, and live through past events to save Maddie Deets (who died in her mother's accident) because she evidently is somehow crucial in Kieran's future-and the future of the world. And she will not believe that she is falling in love with Maddie Deets.
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  #325  
Old 07-30-2015, 03:01 PM
saphiremoon saphiremoon is offline
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so idk this is my attempt at romance but I'm half-crying while writing it because it's in the book because the one protagonist is going into the other's (Jarlath's) memories and in the present day of the book his wife (Nebula) (girlfriend when this memory takes place) is dead and just yeah I'm sad ;-;

~~

“Us peasants, sir diplomat?”

Jarlath’s skin warmed despite the warning in the voice. He turned, just in time to see the Bureau doors close and catch a glimpse of the grin forming on Nebula’s face.

He grinned in response, and knew it was a sappy grin, but he didn’t care. “I didn’t mean you, love,” he called as she walked over. “I meant the, ah, riffraff you affiliate yourself with. Not you either, though, Jess.”

Both women snorted and Dean gave an outraged huff. Nebula crossed the final distance between them and reached upwards, just high enough to give Jarlath a brief peck on the lips; he wouldn’t have minded a little more, but Dean and Jessamine were standing a few feet away, so he contented himself with wrapping an arm around her waist.

“I’d say Jessamine’s the riffraffiest of us all,” said Nebula, turning to the others but leaning on Jarlath. “Just look at her– simply out of control.”

Jessamine flushed, but Dean nodded wisely. “Absolutely. God, imagine if she teamed up with Jarlath– the chaos would be unimaginable. A joint tyrannical rule of boringness.”

“Oh, come on.” Nebula’s voice was breezy. “Jessamine’s not boring.”

Excuse me,” Jarlath said, and the others laughed. He tried to look wounded– he wasn’t boring– but Nebula leaned up and kissed his cheek, and he felt his scowl dissolve into a smile. Still– he tried to glare, and while it certainly wasn’t successful, it did earn an innocent smile from Nebula.

Jarlath glanced at the other two, but Jessamine and Dean had busied themselves with another conversation– about the contract they’d just been on, it sounded like. Dean was using enigmatic hand gestures, wild enough that he almost slapped Jessamine in the face a few times, and she barely seemed to be able to get a word in edgeways.

The perfect couple, he mused, but Nebula’s voice wrenched him from his thoughts.

“Sorry I was late.” Jarlath glanced down at her, surprised; her blue eyes were wide and apologetic. “We only got back from 2 half an hour ago, and it was my turn to fill out the voucher…”

She trailed off, and Jarlath shook his head firmly. “Don’t apologize. I was just a bit worried, until I saw Jess.”

Nebula rolled her eyes and elbowed him. “My diplomat, the worrier.”

“My messenger, the worry-worthy.”
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  #326  
Old 07-30-2015, 11:30 PM
CarabellaGrace CarabellaGrace is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by graceterry View Post
Kieran O'Byrne is in an extremely bad mood. Although she has pretty much believed in time travel, somewhat, she can not believe that her mother has time traveled from the accident that almost killed her to now. She cannot believe that people throughout time want her dead. She especially cannot believe that she and her friends must travel back in time, and live through past events to save Maddie Deets (who died in her mother's accident) because she evidently is somehow crucial in Kieran's future-and the future of the world. And she will not believe that she is falling in love with Maddie Deets.
hey I really really like this and I must read it (it's up on the NSP right?) I'll read/cc when I have time, this looks amazing :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by saphiremoon View Post
so idk this is my attempt at romance but I'm half-crying while writing it because it's in the book because the one protagonist is going into the other's (Jarlath's) memories and in the present day of the book his wife (Nebula) (girlfriend when this memory takes place) is dead and just yeah I'm sad ;-;

~~

“Us peasants, sir diplomat?”

Jarlath’s skin warmed despite the warning in the voice. He turned, just in time to see the Bureau doors close and catch a glimpse of the grin forming on Nebula’s face.

He grinned in response, and knew it was a sappy grin, but he didn’t care. “I didn’t mean you, love,” he called as she walked over. “I meant the, ah, riffraff you affiliate yourself with. Not you either, though, Jess.”

Both women snorted and Dean gave an outraged huff. Nebula crossed the final distance between them and reached upwards, just high enough to give Jarlath a brief peck on the lips; he wouldn’t have minded a little more, but Dean and Jessamine were standing a few feet away, so he contented himself with wrapping an arm around her waist.

“I’d say Jessamine’s the riffraffiest of us all,” said Nebula, turning to the others but leaning on Jarlath. “Just look at her– simply out of control.”

Jessamine flushed, but Dean nodded wisely. “Absolutely. God, imagine if she teamed up with Jarlath– the chaos would be unimaginable. A joint tyrannical rule of boringness.”

“Oh, come on.” Nebula’s voice was breezy. “Jessamine’s not boring.”

Excuse me,” Jarlath said, and the others laughed. He tried to look wounded– he wasn’t boring– but Nebula leaned up and kissed his cheek, and he felt his scowl dissolve into a smile. Still– he tried to glare, and while it certainly wasn’t successful, it did earn an innocent smile from Nebula.

Jarlath glanced at the other two, but Jessamine and Dean had busied themselves with another conversation– about the contract they’d just been on, it sounded like. Dean was using enigmatic hand gestures, wild enough that he almost slapped Jessamine in the face a few times, and she barely seemed to be able to get a word in edgeways.

The perfect couple, he mused, but Nebula’s voice wrenched him from his thoughts.

“Sorry I was late.” Jarlath glanced down at her, surprised; her blue eyes were wide and apologetic. “We only got back from 2 half an hour ago, and it was my turn to fill out the voucher…”

She trailed off, and Jarlath shook his head firmly. “Don’t apologize. I was just a bit worried, until I saw Jess.”

Nebula rolled her eyes and elbowed him. “My diplomat, the worrier.”

“My messenger, the worry-worthy.”
ok wow the feels here are really intense and really sad, especially the ending :c
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  #327  
Old 07-30-2015, 11:45 PM
CarabellaGrace CarabellaGrace is offline
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ok so this is a blurb of something that I've tried a lot but can't quite get right, does it sound good and should i continue?

***

It's one hundred years in the future, and the world has been overtaken by a disease that twists ordinary people into monsters. The government is weak. Gangs rule the streets. And everywhere, the infected people crawl, so deadly that they are known as the Reapers.

Raven's family was killed by hungry Reapers in front of her eyes. Alex's scientist parents disappeared in the dead of the night. Raven had a companion, a lover, but he's as good as dead. Alex had a sister, but she is dead. At his hands.

When the two seventeen-year-olds collide in the catacombs under New York City, they feel a connection. But Raven is hesitant to make a commitment, and Alex has other plans in New York. They go their separate ways, but they will be brought back together by an unlikely group of rebels, who intend to stop the Reaper infection once and for all. . .

***

ok so it's a bad blurb but I think you get the gist of it, is it any good?
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  #328  
Old 07-31-2015, 10:50 AM
mabes mabes is offline
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um so i started a new thing and i actually kind of like it?? (there's no plot whatsoever but oh well)

also please note as you read this that it was basically word vomit from last night x3 i realize that there's probably grammar mistakes and clichés everywhere. cc appreciated c:




-

Caria ripped open the pre-packaged breakfast that had been left on her doorstep just moments before. Inside the recycled cardboard box was a plastic bowl of steaming, bland oatmeal, positioned next to a clear bag of granola and colorless fruit puree. Sighing, she seized the plastic spoon - the same artificial color as the mass-produced bowl - and shoved a few bites of the lumpy concoction down her throat. Her stomach churned as she swallowed, and she realized that her hand holding the spoon was shaking. She set it down carefully on the table, not wanting the cameras that lay scattered around her apartment to catch any sign of unusual behavior.

Despite her stomach’s protests, she dumped the granola and fruit onto the oatmeal and forced down a few more bites until a little more than half the bowl was gone. She resisted the urge to glance at the cameras she knew were watching her and carefully closed the cardboard box, saving the rest of the food for later. She knew that officials watching her footage would take this into account and reduce her lunch portion accordingly.

Trying not to think about the tasteless oatmeal now being cemented to her stomach, Caria strode into her closet to pick out her outfit for the day. She let out a quiet sigh of relief as she stepped through the door, feeling a sense of calm in knowing that this was the only place besides the washing area in her apartment that was camera-free, due to strict privacy laws. It was mostly an illusion, though - there were still sound recorders embedded in the walls, and if she spent an unusually long amount of time in the closet or washroom, officials would be alerted.

Still, though, it was nice, she thought absently as she pulled a shirt off its hanger. Though she tried not to dwell on it too much, there was always an uneasy feeling lurking in the back of her mind, knowing that her every move was being recorded. Here at least she didn’t have to pretend.

Aware of the minutes passing, she quickly pulled on the shirt and a pair of pants, tugging on her shoes at the last moment. As a second thought, she ran a comb through her hair, even though there were no mirrors in her apartment or anywhere in the city, except for on special occasions. Officials had decided long ago that mirrors, or any reflective surface, considerably raised unhappiness and lowered confidence levels in citizens, and so they were removed. It was better this way, Caria knew, because caring about one’s appearance significantly lowered productivity levels, which were vital to keep the community running smoothly.

Dressed, she exited the closet, back in sight of all the cameras in her bedroom. She had already made her bed - it was standard protocol in the mornings - but she smoothed out the white sheet anyway. The wide screen on the wall beside it played a constant, soothing feed of the sky to make up for the lack of windows, which had been deemed too reflective for architectural use. Today, thin, wispy clouds were strung against a pale blue sky on the smooth screen. Caria smiled slightly at the image and then pressed the button on the wall next to the heavy door.

“Caria Shen, ready for release.”

There was a quiet hum as the machine processed her request, and then small type flashed onto the screen below it.

Caria Shen
Dugan Province
Applying for release
Pending . . .

Application approved
Initiating release


The thick door silently swooshed open, disappearing seamlessly into the wall. A tiny slot below the screen slid out a thin, disposable plastic card with a barcode and her name stamped into it. A final line of text appeared on the screen.

Reminder: All citizens must process their report before exiting the building.

Card clasped in hand, Caria walked out of the room, hearing the door slide smoothly back into place with a gentle click. She walked quietly down the hall of identical doors, unadorned except for the varying numbers of small metal dots that distinguished each one from the other, and entered the elevator. There were no buttons - it was programmed to automatically take her to the exit area.
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  #329  
Old 08-01-2015, 03:04 PM
saphiremoon saphiremoon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarabellaGrace View Post
hey I really really like this and I must read it (it's up on the NSP right?) I'll read/cc when I have time, this looks amazing



ok wow the feels here are really intense and really sad, especially the ending :c
ahh thank you it's much better in context (like this occurs 50k through once you know the characters and realize that Jarlath is normally super downcast and serious) but thanks c:

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarabellaGrace View Post
ok so this is a blurb of something that I've tried a lot but can't quite get right, does it sound good and should i continue?

***

It's one hundred years in the future, and the world has been overtaken by a disease that twists ordinary people into monsters. The government is weak. Gangs rule the streets. And everywhere, the infected people crawl, so deadly that they are known as the Reapers.

Raven's family was killed by hungry Reapers in front of her eyes. Alex's scientist parents disappeared in the dead of the night. Raven had a companion, a lover, but he's as good as dead. Alex had a sister, but she is dead. At his hands.

When the two seventeen-year-olds collide in the catacombs under New York City, they feel a connection. But Raven is hesitant to make a commitment, and Alex has other plans in New York. They go their separate ways, but they will be brought back together by an unlikely group of rebels, who intend to stop the Reaper infection once and for all. . .

***

ok so it's a bad blurb but I think you get the gist of it, is it any good?
ahh definitely! I really really like that– infected/zombie stories are sort of overdone, but that's a really cool take on it. I'd definitely read c:

Quote:
Originally Posted by mabes View Post
um so i started a new thing and i actually kind of like it?? (there's no plot whatsoever but oh well)

also please note as you read this that it was basically word vomit from last night x3 i realize that there's probably grammar mistakes and clichés everywhere. cc appreciated c:




-

Caria ripped open the pre-packaged breakfast that had been left on her doorstep just moments before. Inside the recycled cardboard box was a plastic bowl of steaming, bland oatmeal, positioned next to a clear bag of granola and colorless fruit puree. Sighing, she seized the plastic spoon - the same artificial color as the mass-produced bowl - and shoved a few bites of the lumpy concoction down her throat. Her stomach churned as she swallowed, and she realized that her hand holding the spoon was shaking. She set it down carefully on the table, not wanting the cameras that lay scattered around her apartment to catch any sign of unusual behavior.

Despite her stomach’s protests, she dumped the granola and fruit onto the oatmeal and forced down a few more bites until a little more than half the bowl was gone. She resisted the urge to glance at the cameras she knew were watching her and carefully closed the cardboard box, saving the rest of the food for later. She knew that officials watching her footage would take this into account and reduce her lunch portion accordingly.

Trying not to think about the tasteless oatmeal now being cemented to her stomach, Caria strode into her closet to pick out her outfit for the day. She let out a quiet sigh of relief as she stepped through the door, feeling a sense of calm in knowing that this was the only place besides the washing area in her apartment that was camera-free, due to strict privacy laws. It was mostly an illusion, though - there were still sound recorders embedded in the walls, and if she spent an unusually long amount of time in the closet or washroom, officials would be alerted.

Still, though, it was nice, she thought absently as she pulled a shirt off its hanger. Though she tried not to dwell on it too much, there was always an uneasy feeling lurking in the back of her mind, knowing that her every move was being recorded. Here at least she didn’t have to pretend.

Aware of the minutes passing, she quickly pulled on the shirt and a pair of pants, tugging on her shoes at the last moment. As a second thought, she ran a comb through her hair, even though there were no mirrors in her apartment or anywhere in the city, except for on special occasions. Officials had decided long ago that mirrors, or any reflective surface, considerably raised unhappiness and lowered confidence levels in citizens, and so they were removed. It was better this way, Caria knew, because caring about one’s appearance significantly lowered productivity levels, which were vital to keep the community running smoothly.

Dressed, she exited the closet, back in sight of all the cameras in her bedroom. She had already made her bed - it was standard protocol in the mornings - but she smoothed out the white sheet anyway. The wide screen on the wall beside it played a constant, soothing feed of the sky to make up for the lack of windows, which had been deemed too reflective for architectural use. Today, thin, wispy clouds were strung against a pale blue sky on the smooth screen. Caria smiled slightly at the image and then pressed the button on the wall next to the heavy door.

“Caria Shen, ready for release.”

There was a quiet hum as the machine processed her request, and then small type flashed onto the screen below it.

Caria Shen
Dugan Province
Applying for release
Pending . . .

Application approved
Initiating release


The thick door silently swooshed open, disappearing seamlessly into the wall. A tiny slot below the screen slid out a thin, disposable plastic card with a barcode and her name stamped into it. A final line of text appeared on the screen.

Reminder: All citizens must process their report before exiting the building.

Card clasped in hand, Caria walked out of the room, hearing the door slide smoothly back into place with a gentle click. She walked quietly down the hall of identical doors, unadorned except for the varying numbers of small metal dots that distinguished each one from the other, and entered the elevator. There were no buttons - it was programmed to automatically take her to the exit area.
that's amaaaazing please continue (I really liked the last bits especially)– I really like the idea
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  #330  
Old 08-01-2015, 03:09 PM
saphiremoon saphiremoon is offline
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another memory-thing of Jarlath that Griffin invaded (poor Jarlath)

--


“Nebula,” he began levelly, “I was thinking…” He hesitated, and found himself unable to continue.

Nebula seemed to take that as an opportunity to show affection. “You were? Well, congratulations– it’s no wonder the Embassy promoted you.” Her words were marred by the sound of paper flipping again, but Jarlath heard clearly.

He grimaced. How am I supposed to say this? The thought had been in his mind for months– years, even– so he really should have had something prepared, but…

Jarlath swallowed again and licked his lips. Tentatively. I just won’t say it outright. “Have you ever thought about… the future?” The future, he thought. Not ‘our’ future. Good.

Nebula made an indiscernible sound, and Jarlath imagined her narrowing her eyes. “The future? Not really, no.” She turned another page. “Why?”

“It’s just…” Sound casual, he willed, not confused. “If we did want to start planning, now would… now would probably be the time. If we wanted to do anything–” Anything, good, that was nice and vague, “–it would probably take a few years to execute it. So we might as well… I guess, maybe, now we should… now would probably…”

Jarlath realized what an idiot he sounded like, and realized that Nebula did, too, but when she flipped onto her stomach and faced him, he still couldn’t conceal a cringe. “What the hell are you saying?”

I’m not entirely sure, he wanted to say, but cleared his throat and shrugged. Casual, not confused. “I think that we should maybe– if you wanted to, of course– maybe start plan…” Goddammit, she was staring at him, staring at him like he was an idiot, and he was an idiot, and– goddammit, Jarlath, get it together. “Planning, I mean, for the future, because… well, we’re both twenty-four… a-and we’re not getting younger… and I think time will go faster than we expect, so planning would be good, and can you stop looking at me like that, please?”
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