Quantcast Ask KP :) - The Writer's Block
Refresh the page...
forums KidPub Home
  #1  
Old 01-28-2011, 02:26 AM
Bingo Bingo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: The edge of the world
Posts: 620
Default Ask KP :)

Ask (Insert name here)!
This is like the newspaper column, Ask Abby, or Ask Betty, or Ask Ann, or whoever is the advice person in your town
This is my basic idea: you know how there are a ton of different threads of people posting one problem? Well from now on you can post it here Okay, well we're KidPubbers, and I think we're all pretty dang good at helping each other out. The purpose of this thread is for you to post anything- ANYTHING! Friend troubles, bullying, supernatural problems (since a lot of KPers seem to see auras and stuff like that!), whatever you'd like.
I figure that this could work out kind of well. Because if someone answers your question, then it is your duty to answer someone else's plea for help next!
I know some stuff about friendships and all that, but I'm not going to pretend I'm some guru so full of knowledge. I'll answer lots of questions, but I need all of your help! Everyone has different experiences, and I think it'd be super cool if we could all use those experiences to help the other KidPubbers.
Anyone with me?
Ask away
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-28-2011, 08:58 AM
mar225 mar225 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Default

Okay, so here's my dilemma:

Well, I have a friend--Let's call her L--And a crush--Let's call him M--And a best friend--Let's call her G.

Well, I have had a HUUUGE crush on M since PreK and since then, he and I have been like best friends. I mean, M is my best guy-friend. He calls me his best friend and I know pretty much every problem he ever had.

G is my best girl for a friend. I like her a ton, except not like I like M. True, I have a crush on M, but I also like him a lot as a friend. I can talk to M about anything and everything because he understands and always has some great advice.

I can still always talk to G, except she doesn't always care or listen. She, lots of times, just answers me with things like, "Yeah, that's great," or, "Hm, that sucks bad." or, "Uh-huh, sure, sure," M responds with actual advice and a whitty joke to go along with it.

But that's not my problem. My problem is that M has always declared me his best friend and I've always declared him mine. It's always been like that, ever since he moved here in PreK.

But now, G has a HUUUGE crush on him and he likes her, too. What makes it worse is that G knows how much I like M and she just keeps showing off how much he likes her and how much she likes him.

Plus, whenever M is around G, G completely ignores me! She just waves me away and says "whatever" or something when I try to talk to her. And then whenever M and G are together, M tells everyone that G is his best friend, and not me! And then he completely ignores me when he's with G! And when he's not with G and it's just him and me, all he can talk about is G!

And he claims G's his best friend! I honestly don't care that he's dating G--I mean, he's dated lots of my other friends before--But she is NOT his best friend! I've known him longer, I know his secrets and I know his family and his problems in school and everything! How can he claim that G is his best friend?

And then there's L. L is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She think s she's so ugly but that's only because she has low self-esteem. I wish she could see that she's actually really gorgeous. She gets bullied all the time and she thinks it's because she's ugly and "stupid". But she's not stupid! For crying out loud, she's in gifted class in school for advanced kids!!! So basically, she has really low self-esteem and I wnat to get it up. She shouldn't be feeling that way about herself! She's so pretty and smart and she just can't understand that the reason people bully her is because she's so SMART and PRETTY and every girl is jealous and the boys LITERALLY fight over her!

So my two problems:

L has low self-esteem and I wnat to get it up!

G is NOT M's best freind! I don't care if they date! But I'M M's best friend no matter what!

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!!?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-28-2011, 09:57 AM
HappyWithADashOfBlue HappyWithADashOfBlue is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Outside 221B Baker street waiting for the TARDIS while keeping an eye out for stray Ford Granadas
Posts: 2,232
Send a message via MSN to HappyWithADashOfBlue Send a message via Skype™ to HappyWithADashOfBlue
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mar225 View Post
Okay, so here's my dilemma:

Well, I have a friend--Let's call her L--And a crush--Let's call him M--And a best friend--Let's call her G.

Well, I have had a HUUUGE crush on M since PreK and since then, he and I have been like best friends. I mean, M is my best guy-friend. He calls me his best friend and I know pretty much every problem he ever had.

G is my best girl for a friend. I like her a ton, except not like I like M. True, I have a crush on M, but I also like him a lot as a friend. I can talk to M about anything and everything because he understands and always has some great advice.

I can still always talk to G, except she doesn't always care or listen. She, lots of times, just answers me with things like, "Yeah, that's great," or, "Hm, that sucks bad." or, "Uh-huh, sure, sure," M responds with actual advice and a whitty joke to go along with it.

But that's not my problem. My problem is that M has always declared me his best friend and I've always declared him mine. It's always been like that, ever since he moved here in PreK.

But now, G has a HUUUGE crush on him and he likes her, too. What makes it worse is that G knows how much I like M and she just keeps showing off how much he likes her and how much she likes him.

Plus, whenever M is around G, G completely ignores me! She just waves me away and says "whatever" or something when I try to talk to her. And then whenever M and G are together, M tells everyone that G is his best friend, and not me! And then he completely ignores me when he's with G! And when he's not with G and it's just him and me, all he can talk about is G!

And he claims G's his best friend! I honestly don't care that he's dating G--I mean, he's dated lots of my other friends before--But she is NOT his best friend! I've known him longer, I know his secrets and I know his family and his problems in school and everything! How can he claim that G is his best friend?

And then there's L. L is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She think s she's so ugly but that's only because she has low self-esteem. I wish she could see that she's actually really gorgeous. She gets bullied all the time and she thinks it's because she's ugly and "stupid". But she's not stupid! For crying out loud, she's in gifted class in school for advanced kids!!! So basically, she has really low self-esteem and I wnat to get it up. She shouldn't be feeling that way about herself! She's so pretty and smart and she just can't understand that the reason people bully her is because she's so SMART and PRETTY and every girl is jealous and the boys LITERALLY fight over her!

So my two problems:

L has low self-esteem and I wnat to get it up!

G is NOT M's best freind! I don't care if they date! But I'M M's best friend no matter what!

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!!?
*I can't help with the romantics, but I think I have an idea about your first problem. You need to get L to IGNORE THEM. Trust me, it helps, no matter how impossible it seems. I was in the same place a year ago (As in I had the kinda plan you see in Mean Girls heading towards me, but it was sooo stupid I didn't fall for it. It was quite hilarious), and ever since I began ignoring them as much as possible, I've felt great about myself.

Or, few more things that help:

*Never 'out' per-say the leader of the bullies when she's around all of her friends. They'll find some other excuse for whatever they were doing, and try to accuse you of falsely accusing them.

*I know ignoring is not something easily done first, so this is what I did first. I began with throwing back little quips such as:
My Nemesis of last year (Let's just call her B): *fake tone in voice* Are you alright?
Me: Of course I am. The past 2 years you've been targeting me have been very pleasant thank you very much.

But this can backfire and end up like the first bullet if you don't put enough fire into it.

Hope this helps!
__________________
"For all we know, they could've been ninjas!"

"Didn't think you were the type to lock a murder suspect in a giant freezer."

"He wouldn't answer my question."


---- BBC's Life on Mars
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-28-2011, 10:16 AM
Jean Jean is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Tulsa with the gang, hanging out at the Admiral and rumbling with the south side socs.
Posts: 2,881
Default

If M is really your close friend, (Which I know he is) ask him about it, tell im you're fine with them dating, but you want to know what the deal is. Ask him why he says G's his best friend not you.

About G, she sounds like a total brat, and I wouldn't stay her friend. I'd just start ignoring her, and hanging out with other people. If she starts trying to get your attention more, just be like, sorry I thought you were busy and shrug. I hate mean girls. Last year this girl, lets call her K got me sent to the principals office.

About L, I have a friend exactly like that! Tell her that, and tell her that you wouldn't lie to her about that stuff. Tell her that the boys fight over her, and tell her how smart she is. My friend likes that stuff, she likes to hear it, but it can wear off fast. You need to help her be comfortable with herself, so maybe go shopping sometime, or do something with her you know she's good at. It's hard having people you know like this, and I'm still trying to help my friend. Hope I helped!
__________________
Twenty seconds of insane courage, embarrassing bravery!
Stay Gold.
Carpe Diem, lads! Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-28-2011, 03:49 PM
Lily Lily is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 5,033
Default

I really have a super big crush on several boys. SEVERAL. I can't help it. Let's call them A, B, C, and D.

A acts really weird a lot of the time, but he's really smart and when you get to know him he's actually really cute and nice.

B is flunking in writing, and I'm trying to tutor him, and everyone makes fun of him, except me. He's really nice to me and my friends.

C is one of the most awesome people I know! He's always there for me, and likes to goof around with my friends and I. He's super smart, too.

D is the twin of my old best friend (My old best friend hates me now...) and we have a LOT in common. I don't get to see him that much anymore because I don't go to her house anymore. He's like A, where unless you know him really well and you get those quiet moments with him you never fully understand him.

My problem...
Is that I really want one of them to act more than a friend to me! How?
__________________
my name is jay-- please only refer to me as such.

queer power, queer pride.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-28-2011, 05:47 PM
mar225 mar225 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Default

Lily:

Well, you can't really control how boys want to act around you. I don't know if you feel old enough to flirt, but if you believe you are, then maybe you could try a little.

One tip for flirting?

Don't push the boys to much. Make sure they're comfortable the entire time. Just nudge them a little and be nice and normal. Don't be weird when you do the thing, just act like you always do.

So, like I said, you can't control how boys feel, though girls often wish they could. I think you could try to flirt a little, but just try to act normal around them.

Play it cool and be yourself and all and just see what happens. If I were you, I'd just play it out and see what happens.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-28-2011, 07:59 PM
Bingo Bingo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: The edge of the world
Posts: 620
Default

I'm about to go on a trip so I only have time to answer one right now! Since two people already answered yours Mar, I'll respond on Sunday and answer Lily's now


Okay. Here's what I would do:
Next week, try spending a little bit of time with each of them. Really figure out which one you like best, and which one seems to like you best. Maintain your friendships with the other three, but really focus on getting just that one boy to reciprocate your feelings. I agree with Mar, if you wanna flirt with them a little bit, feel free to do so. But if you're going after all of them, and flirting with all of them, guys might start ignoring it because they think you just flirt with lots of boys.
Hope that helps
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-29-2011, 03:57 PM
Lily Lily is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 5,033
Default

Oh, no! Yesterday I saw D's twin sister and she completely embarrassed me in front of him! We're not taking anymore, both his sister and him...
__________________
my name is jay-- please only refer to me as such.

queer power, queer pride.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-29-2011, 08:10 PM
mar225 mar225 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Default

Do you mean you're not talking to him or his sister, or his sister and him are not talking to each other?
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-29-2011, 10:02 PM
Lily Lily is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 5,033
Default

I'm not talking to him and his sister.
__________________
my name is jay-- please only refer to me as such.

queer power, queer pride.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
advice, smile because you can

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:23 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.