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  #16851  
Old 04-09-2015, 01:31 AM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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why am i about to cry
is it from physical pain
then why am i typing anyways
oh right this is finger pecking
i literally almost cried, probably from how awful i sound now or from how much it all hurts
why do i keep forgetting my wrist splints ugh i have had carpal tunnel for years because of music so i should know better than to practice this late
but i just cry about it ahaha no biggie im just furiously swearing and some of my fingers can't move
what's a rest? the longest rest here is a whole rest for one measure
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  #16852  
Old 04-09-2015, 01:44 AM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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just played an etude at twice the assigned tempo
my left hand is practically useless but oh man that felt so good
*continues killing fingers*
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  #16853  
Old 04-09-2015, 01:47 AM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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gosh okay im almost hallucinating about creepy bugs and screaming bc severe phobia
this is a sign of getting two hours of sleep on average a night
at least i didn't cry xD plus my fingers basically have six packs now okay that sounded creepy but still that was a great practice even though 99% of it was swearing.
this one time i played until i saw my own blood and screamed bc phobia

Last edited by meerkat; 04-09-2015 at 02:10 AM. Reason: dead hands typos
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  #16854  
Old 04-09-2015, 02:03 AM
Lily09 Lily09 is offline
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cosmocat: im on a low dose for zoloft which helps A LOT with my anxiety and depression. so at first my appetite decreased a lot and was completely gone once i stated on my adhd meds but my appetite is back now yay! i worried a lot abt bad side effects but other than dry mouth for a few days and loss of appetite for like two weeks there hasnt been any?? im really thankful for both zoloft and vyvanse , my adhd med.
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Last edited by Lily09; 04-09-2015 at 02:13 AM.
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  #16855  
Old 04-09-2015, 02:13 AM
Lily09 Lily09 is offline
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and also yeah cosmocat its honestly not ur fault ?? unless you woke up and were like "it is my goal to be depressed all the time and fuck up my mental health". but u probably didnt im assuming so its not your fault! theres a lot of shame and stigma that comes with not only mental illness, but also medication. but please know that there is nothing wrong in taking medication if it helps you. also please know that just because someone (related to you or not) experienced a side effect, it doesnt mean you will experience the same side effect.
1) the drug may be different.
2) the dosage may be different.
3) your brain is different.
4) your body is different.
5) basically medicatipn affects everyone differently.

so just because your dad experienced bad side effects, it doesnt mean you will. and at the same time, just because i benefit from medications doesnt mean you will either. you may or may not benefit from medication, and you will most likely not have the same side effects. you might also need to get a different dosage, or a different medication, or something else. just be honest with your psychiatrist and your therapist, please.

good luck.
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Last edited by Lily09; 04-09-2015 at 02:18 AM.
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  #16856  
Old 04-09-2015, 12:00 PM
Alaska Alaska is offline
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@cosmocat i'm on prozac currently and my psychiatrist said that it doesn't work for everyone and that i'll just have to try it out. it hasn't changed anything dramatically but i only started taking a daily dosage like 2 days ago. like elliot said, medicine works different for everyone. prozac can increase suicidal thoughts for some time and i've been on it for a couple weeks maybe and i've lost my appetite but that's just med side effects. if you're truly suicidal and depressed (which from what i've read by you you are) then meds can rly help!! you'll just need an appointment with a psychiatrist (i found one via my shrink) and they can prescribe something if they think it's necessary. good luck!!
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  #16857  
Old 04-09-2015, 02:05 PM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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the effects of that piano practice session haven't worn off yet
even my arms are sore and im strangely tired and want to cry and i legit feel like i will pass out on the floor
i promised myself i would sleep after that wb post but i kept playing and playing and destroying myself and now it's biting me in the butt
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  #16858  
Old 04-09-2015, 02:06 PM
rebecca rebecca is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaafre View Post
Maybe but I'd still have to pay child support
Oh yeah.
But if he's registered as the father, I suppose something could be arranged with whoever adopts the child, right?
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  #16859  
Old 04-09-2015, 02:11 PM
rebecca rebecca is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meerkat View Post
the effects of that piano practice session haven't worn off yet
even my arms are sore and im strangely tired and want to cry and i legit feel like i will pass out on the floor
i promised myself i would sleep after that wb post but i kept playing and playing and destroying myself and now it's biting me in the butt
Meera...
I hope you're going to be okay. You go to sleep now.

But remember, being less than perfect is fine. Not knowing all the answers is fine. You don't have to live up to the standards of anyone else, including yourself right now.

Go to sleep, have a nice dream about GIANT FREAKING CATS or something like that and if you need to talk just message me because I'll be here for you. No matter what you think of yourself, I think you're awesome. Trust me on this.

And look after yourself.
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  #16860  
Old 04-09-2015, 02:25 PM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebecca View Post
Meera...
I hope you're going to be okay. You go to sleep now.

But remember, being less than perfect is fine. Not knowing all the answers is fine. You don't have to live up to the standards of anyone else, including yourself right now.

Go to sleep, have a nice dream about GIANT FREAKING CATS or something like that and if you need to talk just message me because I'll be here for you. No matter what you think of yourself, I think you're awesome. Trust me on this.

And look after yourself.
oh i practiced last night and slept for two hours so yeah im still worn out even though it's the next afternoon and i regret that practice so much why did i do that
really though i was swearing nonstop and almost started bleeding but i just had to play.
but i had a great dream about a certain person a gazillion miles away and i was actually sad when i woke up because i wanted it to be real
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