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  #18441  
Old 07-13-2016, 11:09 PM
july3girl july3girl is offline
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Originally Posted by Frostblaze View Post
ok, so i decided to share this, because it's important, and you all need to hear it.

and i would've typed this earlier, but welcome to the black parade came on so i had to leave and scream on top of my roof but annnnyway~

today i had my first (?) anxiety attack. it happened at the lake. this family of five from church came today to join us and our friends. now - my mom mentioned they would be bringing some people from their homeschool group. i tried to prepare myself. i was not prepared. in swarms, they came. and they were strangers and they were intruding on this private thing and they were so freaking close to us and it was so intimate, and i couldn't handle it. i freaked the hecky dizzle out. it started out sorta normal. i laughed it off. i broke from the group and started pacing. then i started panting through my mouth. the girl we took (let's call her sylvia for no apparent reason) with us, her brother and a pair of grownup friends (they're going to be mikhail and aria) came along. they also had a dog. they were across the small beach from them. i sort of hung around them, told the boy (let's call him elias) about the people and how i was a bit freaked out. we shared an uneasy laugh, sort of like "i get it". i started to go back to the massive group, now teeming with people, and i began to feel panicky. a wave of tears washed over me, and my heart was racing, and i was now hyperventilating like crazy. when my mom came over and asked what was wrong, i told her, and that's when i started being unable to breathe very well and i wanted to hide. mom then asked if i could hang out with sylvia, elias, mikhail, and aria. i sat in silence calming down and engaging in a little conversation. my friend sylvia kept asking if i was okay. aria told me she was the high school counselor. she was very sweet to me, and i told her i thought i was having an attack. after the dog rolled in goose crap, mikhail and elias took her to the showers. she asked me, "how long have you been having attacks?" i told her this was my first one. she listed some symptoms, and i told her which ones i had. she explained what a panic attack was and what an anxiety attack was. she said i probably had an anxiety attack. i told her i was feeling better. about twenty or so minutes later, my mom came back and told me to come back to the group. terrified and panting and tearing up, i followed her. i found one of my friends and sat next to her. instantly, she asked what was wrong. when i told her, she put down her book, sat beside me, and helped me breathe deeply.

my point is, aria barely knew me, and she tried to help. both my friends were concerned for me, and one helped me. i was thinking about this in the shower, and i realized something.

people do care. people will always care.

thank you lovelies and keep me in your prayers - i feel like i've been under a lot of emotional stress these days and lots of my time at night is spent worrying, but it comes and goes, so
Wow that's terrifying. *hugs* I hope you feel better and I'm glad you figured it out. my sister gets panic attacks and I know how horrible it is to feel so out of control in your own body. <3
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  #18442  
Old 07-13-2016, 11:26 PM
july3girl july3girl is offline
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I AM SO FREAKING MAD. so I'm at reading camp right and we're discussing this short story we read, written in 1892 about this woman who was sort of relieved when she thought her husband had died because now she would be free and you got the sense that one way or another he had been a bit controlling, whether purposely or no. anyway so we're discussing her being happy about it and whether she's insane or not and of course my friends and I are saying that her husband pretty much OWNED her and made all of her decisions and it made some sense that she would be happy if she could be free again. then there's this kid. so, earlier in the week this kid said that they went by she/her/hers and that she was trans, but today, well, so the kid was pretty much one of the only people opposing my friends and I, along with a boy a couple years younger who didn't understand some other parts of the text. the first kid points out that the ones sympathizing with the woman and saying that the husband abused her (which we didn't say) were all girls and the ones saying that she was insane for being relieved that her husband was dead were both boys.

ok, so first of all I'm confused, because this kid said that they were a girl and trans specifically and not like non binary or anything, which of course it totally ok, except now the kid is a boy and he's ridiculing us by saying we're assuming and not taking from the text, which is untrue. at this point I was fuming over this kid, who has decided he's a boy, and he's targeting me because I'm very openly passionate about this topic of oppression in these earlier times.

so discussion is dismissed and the kid is still prodding me, trying to continue our debate. I declare I'm not having this stupid discussion with him because he's an ignorant little butt. (well I didn't say he was an ignorant little butt but I wanted to) so then he starts talking about how feminism contradicts itself, because if you let the woman take the check, you're taking advantage of her, and if you take the check, your oppressing her. my friends and I are scoffing and rolling our eyes and it just kept on bothering me throughout the day because I've never had a conversation like that in real life. I always thought that people like that were just trolls her lived under bridges.

the end.
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  #18443  
Old 07-14-2016, 03:09 AM
maxi maxi is offline
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SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

How do you show your crush that you want to be more than friends with them?
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  #18444  
Old 07-19-2016, 04:05 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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haha so last night I was supposed to have a sleepover with a friend and then I couldn't find my phone/my mom refused to talk to me about it so when I finally texted her it was late. She hadn't texted anything but I was kinda freaking out and I asked if it was too late and apologized. She told me it was fine, that it wouldn't work out that night but today would be fine. So I apologized again and we made plans to go get soup with another friend today. So today we are all eating soup and the other friend was taking about the sleepover the two of them had last night, about how it was so much fun and they were up really late. The friend I was supposed to have a sleepover with kept trying to change the subject and wouldn't look at me. And the two of them do this kind of thing to me all the time. I was crying last night because I was so scared my friend would hate me but I guess whatever I do doesn't matter to her
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  #18445  
Old 07-19-2016, 04:47 PM
waverunner waverunner is offline
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My fish died, fyi. it was so sad.
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  #18446  
Old 07-19-2016, 09:07 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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well all my friends hate me and i'm home alone again
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  #18447  
Old 07-19-2016, 10:59 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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Originally Posted by Swallowtail View Post
well all my friends hate me and i'm home alone again
come to my house we can cuddle and I'll make you watch downton abbey even though you'll probably get sick of it really fast
also what kind of chips do u like I'm partial to cheddar/sour cream ruffles but idk about u


oh yeah and ur friends proba don't hate you (but if they do, you're too good for them. )
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  #18448  
Old 07-20-2016, 01:04 AM
july3girl july3girl is offline
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so idk whats up with my bffl i haven't seen her in over a week cause i was away at camp and she's not responding to my snapchats unless they're 'streaks' and she said no both times i asked if she wanted to do anything and i miss her so much and i don't understand why she's avoiding. i'm getting worried because in the six years we've been best friends she's never ignored me like this and idk what i did wrong. i understand she's interning at school but she could still answer me when i ask why is that so much to ask?

and now i'm home alone all week with nothing to do because she can't do anything even when her internship is over and i'm too awkward to ask any of my other friends and i don't know whats up and i love her so much and she's not answering and god god god i'm freaking out over nothing but what if i lose her and never know why crap crap crap i need help god what do i do?
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  #18449  
Old 07-20-2016, 09:42 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict View Post
come to my house we can cuddle and I'll make you watch downton abbey even though you'll probably get sick of it really fast
also what kind of chips do u like I'm partial to cheddar/sour cream ruffles but idk about u


oh yeah and ur friends proba don't hate you (but if they do, you're too good for them. )
thank you so much Esther, this was rlly great and helpful <3
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  #18450  
Old 07-31-2016, 02:58 AM
Ember Ember is offline
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So apparently like everyone I know and thought cared about me (except for my best friend, she was probably invited but was busy) is at a party rn that I never heard about and normally I would shrug it off and I wouldn't be offended but idk I've been home for the past week literally bored to tears and I'm just kind of feeling down rn and they're all snapchatting the crap out of it and my crush is there and I haven't seen him all summer and I'm just kind of really sad actually and I'm sorry this is dumb but crap.
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