GSRM Community

[HannahChen2009]

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict

hey some people will probably be unhappy at me for saying this, but the ever-changing overly-technical labels for hundreds of different gender identities and sexual orientations are not helpful to me and I don't think they are genuinely helpful to anybody... especially if you're, like, twelve.

Respectfully, "if ... are not helpful to me" could be dropped, and just phrase it as "I don't think ... are genuinely helpful to everyone"
That being said, I actually agree with the statement.

When I was younger, I tried too hard to find an identity to 'fit' me because most people were queer here and I felt left out. I ended up going for the really specific and obscure and not-far-off-from-cis-and-straight labels too. (Yes, for real. It was really cringey. I wanted to feel 'special', and that was NOT the way to do it.)
I don't think gender or sexual identity works that way. If you force an identity onto yourself just for cool points or because you feel like you HAVE to have an identity, it invalidates the struggles of people who literally didn't choose to be that way. If you felt like you 'choose' that identity, it might not be authentic.

Invalidating the experiences of actual queer people and realizing how that's kinda a shitty move when I was younger made me really hesitant to label myself as bisexual even when it became somewhat clear that I was attracted to girls.

That being said, experimentation with labels is still good, but try to stay true to yourself. There's nothing wrong with being cis and straight.

[AlgebraAddict]

Originally Posted by HannahChen2009

Respectfully, "if ... are not helpful to me" could be dropped, and just phrase it as "I don't think ... are genuinely helpful to everyone"
That being said, I actually agree with the statement.

When I was younger, I tried too hard to find an identity to 'fit' me because most people were queer here and I felt left out. I ended up going for the really specific and obscure and not-far-off-from-cis-and-straight labels too. (Yes, for real. It was really cringey. I wanted to feel 'special', and that was NOT the way to do it.)
I don't think gender or sexual identity works that way. If you force an identity onto yourself just for cool points or because you feel like you HAVE to have an identity, it invalidates the struggles of people who literally didn't choose to be that way. If you felt like you 'choose' that identity, it might not be authentic.

Invalidating the experiences of actual queer people and realizing how that's kinda a shitty move when I was younger made me really hesitant to label myself as bisexual even when it became somewhat clear that I was attracted to girls.

That being said, experimentation with labels is still good, but try to stay true to yourself. There's nothing wrong with being cis and straight.

How do you feel about the division between romantic and sexual affection/orientation? That was one of the main things that totally switched in my head as I got to understand myself more.

There's an idea that romantic and sexual orientation are totally different things that have little or no correlation to each other, that I definitely bought into wholeheartedly a few years ago. At this point I think those distinctions are almost entirely contrived, but I'm curious to see how your perspective has developed on it.

[katchyboo]

okay so I'm thinking I might be asexual homoromantic, but I get attracted to people because of how they look. is there a word for that?

[AlgebraAddict]

Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict

hey some people will probably be unhappy at me for saying this, but the ever-changing overly-technical labels for hundreds of different gender identities and sexual orientations are not helpful to me and I don't think they are genuinely helpful to anybody... especially if you're, like, twelve.

Originally Posted by katchyboo

okay so I'm thinking I might be asexual homoromantic, but I get attracted to people because of how they look. is there a word for that?

I'm not going to go off on this right now, but this is exactly what I'm talking about

[katchyboo]

oh, okay-
i mean, labels are helpful to me, but that's just my opinion

[Lily09]

[Lily09]

i say this as someone who identified as some changing variation of demihomoromantic bisexual transmasc agenderflux for years (which you can find proof of in this thread) : dividing your identity up like that is not as healthy or helpful as you think it is.

[katchyboo]

oh, okay- thanks